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separation anxiety
February 16, 2004
8:02 am
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MEC
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My boyfriend (now ex-boyfriend) of 3 years has made the decision to move to Phoenix. While he was here, I felt okay about us having broken up. Now that he is leaving, I feel really sad about it and don't want him to leave, but, at the same time, I don't want to be his girlfriend any more, I just want to be good friends. Are these normal feelings? How do people get over them?

February 16, 2004
8:09 am
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artist 2
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Of course they're normal. You get over the feelings in time. I know it's hard having a friend leave you. It's heartbreaking feeling them pull away.

Maybe you can make plans to visit him, or even help him move?

February 16, 2004
9:41 am
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Zinnie
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If you want to remain "good friends" you have to let him live his own life in total freedom. You chose to be with someone else over this man - there is no reason what so ever for you to have any kind of hold over him making him stay.

February 16, 2004
9:55 am
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mj
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Grieving loss is normal. Him leaving is so permanent for you. Maybe you have delayed your grieving after 3 years of not being a couple?

February 16, 2004
3:51 pm
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marley
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I think you need to let him go. You have had a good relationship and received love from this man, it is only fair to let him find love for himself. It is always hard to let go, even of the bad and good for nothings that are out there. no one wants to be alone - but it can't be that bad, right? you have someone else who you want to be with, don't begrude your ex a chance at happiness. He will likely still be there for you - just as he has been for the past 3 years

February 16, 2004
4:42 pm
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MEC
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I know. You are all right. I'm just very sad and in a way, I know he doesn't want to leave and wants me to ask him to stay. I want to ask him to stay but I can't promise him all the things he wants --

February 17, 2004
2:34 pm
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MEC
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Yesterday I asked him when he was leaving and he said that after he finishes remodeling my bathroom he will leave. I said thank you for doing that.

February 17, 2004
2:35 pm
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MEC
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I hope that will give me time to prepare myself and him to prepare himself to leave to. That's why I don't think he wants to leave, really.

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