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self confidence
November 6, 1999
12:13 am
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lindsey
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i have a lot of problems with my own self confidence- or i should probably say lack of..my problems prevent me from having normla conversations with people- even in elevators! the only thing that i can think about is what that person is thinking about me and how they are making fun of me in their minds. this problem has been bad in the past- but last month i moved to college and am living in a dorm. i have made a couple of friends but the idea of simply making "good" freinds scares me. i have three best friends at home, and for some reason i think that if i make good friends here than i have to lose their friendships. this idea caused my to have a panic attack yesterday as i was on the bus going to an acquaintances house to study for a midterm. i also get quite obsessed over people- and not just males- all of my friends- i dont know exactly what to do, i know that i cant continue this- but i dont know what i can do exactly. if anyone could help me i would be very grateful
-lindsey

November 6, 1999
8:53 am
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eve
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lindsey,
try to calm down about it and give yourself some time. You have been to college for four weeks only - and it is a completely new environment, so that is not very long. And most of the others are probably new, too and need time to settle down.
I don't think that you are "leaving" your best friends at home when you make new friends elsewhere. They certainly wouldn't expect that you keep to yourself, but they want you happy. eve

November 6, 1999
8:36 pm
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Maybe you need to remember that the other people there at college are probably feeling very similar feelings as yours, being o far away from home in a strange place and all. As far as the self-confidence thing, you need to wake up each morning and tell yourself all the good things that make up you. Or even sit down and make a list of all the positive things about you and all the accomplishments you've made in life. Don't be afraid to brag! Then every morning or any time during the day pull out the list and look at it. You are better than you think. Even though you're scared you need to just dive in and go for it. The only way to overcome your fears is to confront them. Do what makes you so afraid. What's the worst that could happen? Someone could laugh at you? Sticks & stones... Prepare yourself for the worst then go for it. You may be pleasantly surprised! Also you may want to read some inspirational literature. One book that meant a lot to me is Og Mandino's "The Greatest Salesman in the World". Check it out. Good luck.

November 9, 1999
4:22 pm
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Helen
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September 24, 2010
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Lindsey, I have much the same problem that has been blown out of all proportion. At the moment I can't think about anything else and I get depressed whenever I speak to confidant people. They know what to say and they say it no matter what the consequences. I suppose the main thing is not to let it get out of control. Try everyday to do something that inspires a bit of confidence, or something that you wouldn't usually do. Push yourself and eventually it will become easier. Something that has helped me a lot is knowing that I can say what I want to say here and not repress myself. Do not make too much of this otherwise it will consume you, just deal with each day as it comes and relax. Don't forget to keep doing what you enjoy most to help relieve some frustration.
Stay positive - Helen.

November 11, 1999
8:37 am
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Brittainy
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Hi I come across as very confident and carefree, but that is not the real me. Deep down inside I am very shy and insecure. I don't seem to trust my own judgement, I have to check things out with people before I do them. Asking for what I really want is hard for me. I am so used to dealing with other peoples problems, that I lose sight of what I want and need, I guess I'm confident when I am dealing with other people. Please keep the messages coming in.

November 12, 1999
11:24 am
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Cici
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September 24, 2010
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It's pretty normal for teenagers (yes, you still count, even as a freshman in college!) to have social-interaction anxiety. It sometimes helps to remember tat people aren't analyzing things half as much as you are....

I read a study in one of my psych classes (I posted this on another thread...forgive me!). Students were made to wear Barry Manilow T-shirts. They predicted at least 50% of the people they interracted with would notice. Actually, less than 25% of the people noticed.

Self-confidence comes from trust and experience. The more you force yourself to experience, the more you learn to trust yourself. The more you trust yourself, the more you have confidence.

Panic Attacks are a whole other thing entirely. If these continue, you might want to see someone. Panic Attacks can be debilitating when the dread of them begins to interfere with your life.

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