questions, I'm a male in my 12th year of marriage and though I've tone down any active flirtations I dealt with early on in my relationship, i still fantasized a lot about being with other women. I think you've hit it on the head when you mentioned dealing with "anxiety" in your life. For me it contains some of that but the fantasies about and desire to be with other "more perfect" women come more intensely at a time where I am NOT confronting important issues or problems in my relationship with my wife. I feel like crap and the fantasy encounters make me feel better and help me avoid dealing with my wife. I've become more aware of doing this over the years and I'm trying to focus on the issues that are important in my marriage. Somedays, the fantasies go into override mode and I just have to sit back and let them take their course. I've also realized that as long as I don't get drunk I don't have to worry about folowing through to the next level of serious concern...affairs.
Again, for you I think you're barking up the right tree. Ask yourself if there are issues you are avoiding in your relationship by flirting with other women. Assess what you come up with and if your so inclined, pray for some direction from your spiritual focus.