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SD U R Right,, he started to retaliate! RAS
July 26, 2005
7:15 pm
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Rasputin
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Hi SD,

You were so right on when you said about my neighbor that he is very likely to retaliate when I complained about the noise he produced when he has sex with his gf.

Shortly after a few days of that note on his door and probably the manager's building notifying him of his act and noise while having sex with his gf; he started to retaliate by slamming the doors and banging them a lot.

My Lord, I can't believe how people can be so immature!!! Why didn't I do something similar when he has been violating my right for a whole 2 years and over????

I am afraid to speak with him and tell him to shut the doors more gently. I feel that he will explode and burst and start to pick on me.

Why is it difficult for people to cooperate and say I'm sorry and rectify the situation?

Also, his gf has lessened her visits to him and when she does come, they have least noise than before or they have sexless night.

I think this is annoying them a lot. I am sure they both hate me so!

I think the more codep we are, the more people like us; the more strong and independent we become the more they hate us.

This is my conclusion. When I kept silent for their sex-producing noise for over 2 years & more, they took me for granted and walked all over me.

Now that I am becoming free and strong and standing up for my rights w/o shyness, they do not like me anymore.

Good grief!!! ~RAS~

July 26, 2005
7:30 pm
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itavarap
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Uh, you could always just give them a taste of their own medicine.

Find some bagpipe music. Wait until you know they're home. Play it really loudly, or just face the speakers to the common wall, and then leave.

Go catch a movie.

When you come home, you'll have the satisfaction of knowing you've managed to torture them as well.

It's not right, but it works. I bet he's quieter with the doors after that.

July 26, 2005
7:39 pm
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Rasputin
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Itavarap,

I am typical too sweet codep lady.

Your suggestion ROCKS!!!

I really want to break down the cycle of my codep.

I will do that, I will play the music on loudly, go to grocery store while leaving music on for my sweetie kitty who loves music AND ANNOY THEM AT THE SAME TIME!

Thank you honey for the smart suggestion, it is GREAT!!!!!!

July 26, 2005
7:42 pm
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addicts wife
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awwww, i JUST weote to your thread "Upstairs"
I'll copy and paste... BRB

July 26, 2005
7:43 pm
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addicts wife
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addicts wife
26-Jul-05

(((((Ras)))) What an immature tool of a "man" Geez louise. you keep speaking up for yourself, and you remember that he is ((soooo obviously)) got some issues. I mean , come on dude??? slamming doors and having a temper tantrum. because hes an obnoxious moaner??? Get over yourself dude!! Ugghhh. I am sooo sorry that you are ging through this "crap" from such an apparent egomaniac that he took such a hard blow to his ego that he feels it neccessary to abuse doors. Those poor doors, and you, simply kindly asking that youre boundries be respected ,and needs met. That was not too much to ask, NOT unfair, nor unreasonable. I do believe that his added behavior is unfair, unreasonable and just plain rude and immature though. I mean, think about it logically for a second... any reasonable, logical person would perhaps blush, apologise, and take it in stride. Acknowledge and move on... Dont you think?? Hang in there sweetie, and try NOT to let him inhibit your ability t ospeak up for your self and your boundaries.

((((( quietHugs)))) LOL AW

July 26, 2005
7:45 pm
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addicts wife
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I Like the bagpipe idea though I must say that it does rock,. but w/my luck, Id get evicted for a noise ordinence or something
go figure

July 26, 2005
8:15 pm
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Rasputin
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Update!

His gf came over and the 2 left with his daughter to go to her place and have sex there.

Ever since that note, I have noticed that he started to go to her place more often. They both started to look angry and gloomy. Sex is not fun any more in his place, so better to fly to her place.

May God help the neighbor who will be suffering from their moans groans esp his.

July 26, 2005
9:24 pm
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Rasputin
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They r back the 3 & the slamming and banging of doors restarted. UUUUUUUUURGH!!!

BTW: I've had music on on reasonable volume unfortunately. I just thought that it would be immature to behave likwise as spiritual person.

I hope I am not being codep!

July 26, 2005
10:06 pm
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addicts wife
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I dont thionk you are being Codep, Hon.
I think you are acting as you would expect to be treated.
No need to lower yourself to that level... even tohugh its fun to entertain a thought or two once in a while.
((((hang in there hon)))
I think youre doing great!!!
Love,
AW

July 27, 2005
5:41 am
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Regret
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Ras,
I am sorry that this man is bent on making your life in your own house miserable. I agree with you on not playing loud music since that would simply be drawing you into his craziness.

Do you think you could write to the manager again? I know it may sound as if you are whining but my dear, sometimes, we have to do things like this to drum improtant things into others. He knows better than to bang doors and if he has chosen this route just to torment you, then he leaves you no choice but to react appropirately.

Write another letter to the manager indicating when the door banging began. I am sure that the manager wouldn't be suprised at all and would send him another note.

So sorry you are going through this. But at least, you have some peace from the reduced sexual noises.

Regret

July 27, 2005
8:04 am
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itavarap
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Well, I don't agree with running and tattling to managers, or police, etc. That always just makes you look like a whining, aggravating, pathetic person in the eyes of the people you're complaining about. It's better, much better, if you can handle things yourself.

Let me illustrate a case in point.

I live downstairs from a couple named M and W. I moved in here first, and there was a couple upstairs who travelled a lot. They made no noise at all.

Suddenly, the people upstairs moved in and now there's door slamming, people screaming and yelling, and their washer is unbalanced so every time they washed clothes it banged really loud on my floor. One time, it was banging so hard that my light fixture fell and shattered and I had to get the apartment people to replace it and rebolt it to the ceiling.

I spent about a month, miserable, hating it because it always seemed that they washed clothes after 11 PM and I was trying to sleep. They'd come home from a club real late, around 3 am, and have fights in the bedroom directly over me. Then they'd make up with sex. Loud sex.

I called the apartment people finally, complaining about the washing machine. I asked them if they could possibly knock on their door and ask them to rebalance it, or wedge something underneath it, so that every time they did a load I wouldn't have pictures falling off the wall, etc. The apartment people said that that didn't fall under their ordinary maintenance contract and that I'd have to file a noise complaint, with the police.

Then the lady I was talking to said something that really ended up making a difference - She said, "Why don't you just be neighborly and go up there and talk to them about it, instead of calling us all the time, trying to get them in trouble?"

I didn't agree, and just got pissed off at the apartment people who apparently were unconcerned with the fact that I hadn't been able to sleep. For a month.

So, I devised a plan.

I had been meaning to hang curtains and paint my living room and generally overhaul my place. So, I went out and got curtains and pictures and paints and stuff. And I started working on my apartment. At 2:30 in the morning.
I made sure it was 2:30 am before I started using the power drill to drill the holes for the wraparound curtain support. It was about 3:00 am when I started hammering in the drywall anchors. I was supremely satisfied when I heard them wake up above me, get out of bed, and start stomping around because I was banging on the walls directly below where they sleep. I congratulated myself mightily for having disturbed their sleep.

The next day, however, I felt really bad and guilty for it. I'm not a mean person, and it seemed kind of spiteful to me. So I made some cookies.

I went upstairs and knocked, with this plate of Toll House. A man answered the door. I said, "Hi, I'm the crazy lady downstairs who was hammering at 3:00 am. I wanted to apologise - I had just gotten these new curtains and I'm remodeling, and I swear, I didn't realize it was THAT LATE until I heard you guys get up. I am so sorry for waking you up, and I wanted to say that, so here are some cookies."

He was very nice to me, and claimed that he "hadn't heard any hammering." I knew that was a lie, because I heard them bitching about it. But he was being nice, so I kept apologising. I told him that I was trying to redecorate, and that there'd be some noise for the next few days as I worked all that out, but I'd try to end it before midnight. We exchanged phone numbers, in case we ever bothered each other with noise again, and I left.

The next day, someone knocked on MY door. It was his girlfriend. She introduced herself and we ended up swapping numbers. She told me she was a hairdresser and apologised because she'd "just realized" that her washing machine probably bothered me. She said it was a rental, and had always been off balance, and wanted to know what times she could safely wash clothes without it getting on my nerves. I claimed to not ever have heard it, but recommended any time before 11 am.

They both ended up coming downstairs on Day 3 and getting drunk with me and my roommate. Now, they're my best friends in this building. We share Internet service, run to the store for each other, and hang out all the time. I just got back from a "girl's vacation to Florida" with her, a few weeks ago.

Since we've become friends, the noises upstairs don't bother me anymore. I can just tell myself, "Ah, that's M and W, and their stupid washer," and just grin to myself. Once I found out the SOURCE of the noises, and they were friendly noises now, they ceased to bother me.

All I'm saying is that if you deliberately isolate yourself as The Annoying Neighbor Who Always Calls The Management (or The Police), you'll end up burning any chance you ever had of getting those people's respect.

July 27, 2005
11:44 am
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sdesigns
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Hi Ras: I just saw this- human nature is strange sometimes, isn't it? Stick to your guns- maybe they will move (wishful thinking!)

July 27, 2005
3:27 pm
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Rasputin
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SD:

ROFLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

I will keep you posted honey with any new update!

July 27, 2005
4:27 pm
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Rasputin
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Ita, what a bright idea. Baking them some muffins will do the trick. However, in my case I did not retaliate to their unbecoming actions. On the contrary, I was tolerant for the whole 2 years and more. So, the truth is they owe me apology, kindness, appreciation for all their crap which I've been putting up with for over 2 years now.

Even yesterday's suggestion, I could not do it. Simply coz tis against my nature.

~RAS~

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