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school is stressing me out
September 22, 2006
12:54 am
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jewel
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I am a college student who attends part time and I work full time. Lately, I have been working 6 days at work and I am having a hard time keeping up with school. I have a couple hours each day, but the hard part is being motivated to do the work. After working all day(I work the 2nd shift), I don't feel like doing school work, but I can't sleep. I just feel like goofing off. Then I don't get up early because I don't have to so I never get anything done in the morning. My only free day lately has been sunday and I have to clean the house, do laundry, spend time with my fiance. This is really starting to stress me out. I have got myself a math tutor for my algebra class. Everything is easy and seems to make sense when I am with her, but when I am on my own, I get stupid again. I just feel like a failure. I am only taking a couple classes per semester and there are others who go to work ft and school ft. They can do it so what is my problem. In a way, I just want to give up but that is not an option. I know that I am somewhat smart and I have potential. I just don't know what to do to calm myself down.

Jewel

September 22, 2006
1:23 am
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gracenotes
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Jewel,

I have been working part time and going to school just about full time, and it gets stressful. What I am wondering about is this thing about you working six days a week? That seems like more than full time to me. Is there any way you can hire someone to do some housecleaning and laundry? Or work five days or less a week? Even part time students can usually get financial aid or loans too. I have someone come in once a month only to clean, but it makes a big difference.

Another thing I try to do is to have a day or a big chunk of a day (usually Sunday) to do something fun and get away from any kind of work. You are not a machine, you need time to goof off and just be, sit and do nothing, have some fun. That is not being a failure, that is taking care of yourself. Especially if you work the second shift, which I have in the past, there's tendency to be wound up after work and a need to relax. I wouldn't fight it, just have some enjoyment, make plans for the next day, maybe a list, even hour by hour, and things will more likely get done. I have learned to accept that this goofing off time is simply essential to my health and well being. If I don't do this, I am going to get sick or chronically tired. For a while I was beating myself up about this, but I have learned to accept this and I end up having more energy because I am not spending it on judging myself. I am also learning to accept that I need to prioritize (without jeopardizing my job or my grades) what really is most important, what I can let slide, and keep focused on my own personal goals.

Its really late and I have some homework to do first thing tomorrow morning.

September 22, 2006
12:33 pm
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jewel
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Thanks for the response gracenotes. I have been working mandatory overtime because it is close to the end of a quarter and after this weekend and probably next, we wont have to work it for awhile. My fiance has off tomorrow I think so I am going to make him a list of what needs done around the house. He will get some of it done, but it always seems he skips some things. He doesn't want to do it either(lol) because he works all week too. I feel that I shouldn't have to be the one to do all the cleaning and dishes that are mostly his because if I try to get all of that done, my schoolwork will never get done. I am bipolar and on meds to keep my mood swings down and it is really working. When I take the medication at night, the one drug does not make me sleepy at all. The other one puts me to sleep but I have problems getting up early in the morning. I go to sleep around 230 in the morning but only wake up at around noon. I leave for work at 230. That doesn't leave me with much time to do schoolwork in the day time and Ijust can't concentrate in the night. I feel so hopeless right now. I have a math quiz to take by monday and I tried learning the first sec out of three last night and just felt lost. It looks like school work is going to take all of my sunday again. I am so sick of this and miss the time I used to spend with my fiance. We also have wedding plans to make. We haven't even set a date yet and I need to start looking around for my dress. I know it isn't going to be anything fancy because we have decided to get married in florida on the beach. ANy suggestions as to what kind of dress to wear? I have so much going on right now. We are also going to have a reception when we get back at some point. It isn't going to be as intense as a usual one. We aren't going to do the cake thing or have a dj or any of that. Just a celebration dinner. Has anyone done anything similiar to this out there? I don't want to do something way out of the ordinary. I just want something kind of small and inexpensive since we are paying ourselves for everything. Another reason why I need to work overtime. As far as hiring someone to clean, I can do it myself. I have left out the part of me becoming lazy. I have the time, just no motivation.

Jewel

September 22, 2006
2:04 pm
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jewel
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I wish that I could calm down. I am getting ready for work. It is Friday but more like a thursday for me since I am working saturday. I am sick of taking klonopin to calm down. I only take 1 mg and I think that is a low dosage so it doesn't mess me up or anything. I just don't want to have to rely on taking it for my anxiety. I feel like just dropping out of school sometimes but then I will never achieve my goals. I quit drinking which was the hard one. I thought things would get easier but I guess they can actually get harder because now I am dealing with it totally sober and not blocking out these feelings. I feel like a failure. I have a high b in math but I want an a. I need to study even more to get that. I am so sick of this. I want to just quit work. Enough of me venting. I need to get ready for work and be out of here in 20 minutes. I will check back later on tonight.

Jewel

September 22, 2006
2:40 pm
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ShortCake
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Jewel,

Giving you boyfriend a list is a great idea. He will get somethings done and that will help. If he does skip things, thats okay because he did do others. Let him know how much his help means and hopefuly he will want to help more because you are grateful for the little things he does do.

Also you said you have a B in math and want a A. Keep in mind, A's are great, however, I averaged mostly B's (some C's even) in college and I am doing great. I have an amazing job and I am on my way with my career. Grades only mean so much in the real world. I worked full time and went to school part time (sometimes full time) and the stress become overwhelming. Someone told me to relax on trying to get the perfect GPA and grades. Part of me always new I could have done better, but I started enjoying college more and my life by putting less pressure on myself. I formed study groups with other students and made life a little more fun.

I hope this all works out for you. College is tough, working and going to college is tougher. You sound like your doing a great job and remember, you can only do the best you can and then you must find sometime to enjoy life....

Good Luck!

September 22, 2006
7:08 pm
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gracenotes
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jewel,

Shortcake is so right about grades. I have well over a B average, but, after you get your degree, no one cares about your grades outside the academic world. If you are going on for more advanced training B's and some A's should be fine. Really! If you ever need some kind of recommendation from a prof, he or she would probably prefer an interested student who tried and contributed to the class, vs. the "A" student. Today I even decided to fill out a form to take an elective class credit vs. no credit. Now I can really enjoy that class because I'm not going to fail it.

We always could have done better, but every day our "best" varies because of a lot of things, so of which are beyond our control.

September 23, 2006
12:22 am
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jewel
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Shortcake and gracenotes,

Thanks for the replies. You both gave good advice. It was good to hear that you don't have to get all a's to be a success. I just really care about my grades and want to do good. I think one of the biggest problems for me is that I am taking the classes online right now. I had a hard time trying to find a morning class that met just one day a week for the classes that I needed so here I am learning by just reading out of the books. No lectures. They are usually helpful to me because the information gets absorbed in my mind a lot easier. I need to learn to just enjoy my classes and have fun learning. Not think of it as a chore. That is the hard part. I am not yet taking any classes for my major yet so I am kind of bored. I used to love math in high school but this algebra class is no fun. And the funny thing is my major is in accounting. I may have to rethink what I want to do with my life.

Jewel

September 23, 2006
5:52 pm
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Dear Jewel,

You know (and we all know) that you are not stupid. Nor a failure.

After a long stretch of anxiety I've found a real serenity in starting my day with prayer (asking specifically for thought guidance). It really helps me to stay confidant and focused.

Make a quick, realistic list of what you want to accomplish today. Divide the reading time into the number of hours you realistically intend to work hard. Schedule in downtime, lover time, and sleep/housework time. Tell the child (the little child inside all of us) she just has to be patient until ________, and then she will be allowed to play 🙂

While you are working, give some thought to how you will use your non-work time.

Try to speed-read and take notes so study time is efficient.

When those feelings of running away or quitting come over you, go for a quick run or short errand (with music) and back to your task quickly. That's the time you may have taken a drink before. It's important to fill that low-willed feeling with something else.

Try not to blame anyone else OR yourself when things are not perfect. Stuff will fall into place. Stay in the present.

One truly wonderful thing about being 22 is that you are so young and pretty you can get away with not "primping" and just wash your face and run out the door like a guy!!! Boy, those were the days!! Now I'd SCARE little children if I did that!!!

September 24, 2006
10:06 pm
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jewel
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Even with the help of a tutor, I still can't get my math. I also have homework for my other class that is going to take some serious thinking. I am so close to just quitting school. Being bipolar and handling easy day to day tasks has become too much for me. I feel very on edge and keep on flipping out on my fiance. I have until wed. for the math to learn it b/c the tutor gave me some homework that I don't get and friday for my other class. The hours are ticking by and I am getting nothing done. I am beginning to really dislike life and have found that I haven't really been that happy. I am losing interest in things that are important. Gotta go out shopping so that I have some food to eat although as of late, I don't even hardly eat. I either starve or binge. NO inbetweens. I am going to go out and buy a bunch of icecream and overeat. I don't care anymore.

Jewel

September 24, 2006
11:47 pm
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"can't get"
"quitting"
"too much"
"flipping out"
"nothing"

Jewwwwelllll!!! Come on, it is not that bad. Just run around the block or run to the store and buy fruit.

I know it's scarey, Honey.

But you are so good when you pull together your concentration. I WISH you could ask the right person the right questions so the math would come together for you.

I know there are some really sharp math people on this site.

Could you describe what is blocking your understanding and start a new thread with that question in it???

Try very hard to counteract all the negative thoughts with some very angry positive comebacks -- like "Shut up! I CAN do this! I will understand! I am NOT flipping out. I'm not giving UP!!!"

September 26, 2006
12:42 am
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jewel
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Thanks brynnie. I was having a hard time last night. And then my fiancee upset me, but I was being overly emotional to begin with. I just got home from work and he wrote me a note saying that he was sorry. It brought tears to my eyes. He is the love of my life and soemtimes you say things you don't mean when you are stressed out. We are fine now. As far as school, I am going to wake up at a decent hour tomorrow and drink coffee and just go, go, go with my schoolwork. I will not stop for anything and I will just get my assignment for my english class done. At least written on paper. Then I can type it out and submit it the next day. I have contacted my tutor about my math trouble. We are going to meet for 3 hours instead of 1 1/2 hours. That should be good for me as far as learning the material. I took a quiz the other day and got a b. Not bad. Room for improvement too though. Thanks for the encourgement. It means so much to me. Right now, I am going to take it easy and wind down until tomorrow morning around 10 am. Then I will think school until I have to get ready for work at 1pm. I should be able to finish if I stay focused.

Jewel

September 26, 2006
1:13 am
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gracenotes
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Jewel,

Sounds like a good plan. And, you already got a B. A lot of time scheduled with your tutor. That is good. Doesn't have to be perfect or all A's either. You are trying, you will do fine.

You can do it!

September 26, 2006
1:22 am
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jewel
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It is weird because my grades were actually better when I was drinking every night. I used to study and write papers while I drank. It got me in this weird state of mind where I could think clearer and didn't get as distracted. I am on meds for bipolar and I wish I felt like I could concentrate better. I am afraid to try any new meds b/c of the risk of the side effects. I already went through this and missed a lot of work.

Jewel

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