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scared!!!!!
January 23, 2003
9:07 pm
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Anonymous
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my mom has this boyfriend that she has been dating for the past 2 years, and i dont know what to do because i am afraid to stayt home alone with him, every time my mom goes out he tries hitting on me, and i cant take it anymore, i am only 17, i dont know what to do, i dont want to tell my mom because she really likes him and all. is there a way this can stop without having to break my mom's heart?

January 23, 2003
9:23 pm
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What he is doing is inappropriate. You need to stop this now before something happens (assualt, rape etc). I think your Mom would rather that you were safe. Besides, better for her to find out now that her boyfriend is not respecting her and acting inappropriately than it will be years down the track.

You need to take care of yourself here and if you're uncomfortable hopefully that will be trigger enough for your Mom to do something to help you.

January 23, 2003
10:42 pm
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Tell your mom. ASAP. I'm not sure what your relationship is with your mom, but if it isn't real tight, she might not be completely receptive to hearing this especially if she is as smitten with the guy as you say, and she might say at first you are imagining it. Stick to your feelings, and tell her how scared you are, and at the very least ask her not to leave you alone with him.

Don't worry about taking care of your mom here. She is the parent, not you. If her boyfriend is acting inappropriately, she needs to take action and protect you, not the other way around. It would be better for your mom to end up with a broken heart now than to find out years later that not only is her boyfriend a wretched human being, but her daughter got hurt in the process. She will be heartbroken AND feel guilty for not seeing what was going on. And trust me, if this guy is sleazy enough to hit on his girlfriend's daughter, the relationship will eventually go down in flames. Do both of you a favor, and get it out into the open now.

January 24, 2003
12:02 am
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Just tell her to get him out of the house. Don't you think your safety is worth it? If mom holds on to this guy over your safety and well being, go to a friends, aunts, grandma, or any where . Mom its me or him, period. Leave immediately, period, not worth the risk.

January 24, 2003
9:19 am
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These friends are giving you great advice. I'll add my two cents...tell your mom quickly before anything else occurs. You are not the one causing the problem. The man is obviously a jerk. If your mom won't listen, talk with another adult that you trust.

Hnag is there and don't give up.

January 24, 2003
9:45 am
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Hi,
I had a similar problem growing up but it was my step-dad.
I was 14. I avoided him as much as I could. I moved to my fathers eventually. When I moved back later years when I was 19 he made strange comments that I should have married him not my husband. He was an alcoholic. My mom didn't know there was a problem. I just kept it in.

Now that I am older and I hope wiser, and you are 17.....If you can muster up the courage...tell them both that you do not want to be left alone with him. That way he cannot deny it later.

You are in no way responsible for his inappropriate advances. He is the adult and should be held responsible for his actions. I know that you want your mom's happiness....but if my daughter came to me....and told me this, You bet I would protect her. Your mom is also the adult and parent and needs to realize that her boyfriend is acting inappropriately. I wouldn't want a boyfriend who is doing this to my daughter.

Children always feel responsible for their parents feelings. You are not responsible. Protecting your mother only makes the problem worse in the long run. If she were to marry him eventually, Would you want to bring your children(hypothetical at this stage) home to visit your mom?

Hugs to You. You are Important and Special and don't deserve the stress created by his actions. Talk to someone you trust if you don't dare approach your mom and her boyfriend, but know that this circumstance will only get worse by doing nothing. I know. Good Luck and let us know that you are safe.

January 24, 2003
9:57 am
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JAP~

My instincts as a mother is to protect my children. I don't care how "in love" I might be. It would break my heart more to know that my child was being hurt by someone I exposed them to.

Tell your mother, in a calm manner, let her know how scared you are. I agree with everyone else. If she doesn't believe you or doesn't do anything about it then you need to leave. You cannot put yourself in a dangerous situation. Protect yourself. Please consider too that if he does this to you when your mom is away, he could be doing it to her when you are away.

Stay safe, make sure you are never left alone with him. If your mom leaves, go somewhere too.

Please, please take care of you!!!

Be well.

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