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scared in mich: supporting each other
October 31, 2006
10:46 am
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jastypes
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I covet your prayers on behalf of my son, Adam, who was just found to have a tumor in his ear. I know that you completely understand what it is like to fear for your child, yet want to make it all seem like it's okay. I also know what it's like to be co-dependent and want to slip deep into denial. Help me know how to be a comfort and support to him. Your family continues in my prayers. Sorry if this is rambling and incoherent. I can't think clearly.

October 31, 2006
10:53 am
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ScaredinMichigan
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How old is he again? How long before they do the surgery to remove it. See for us, it was a little easy because she was eight. She understood that she was having surgery, BUT, she had no clue of the risks. Really neither did we. I know that isn't what you wanted to hear either. After about the first three surgeries, there was NO comforting her. For the first one, we just told her what they were going to be doing, and she didn't let it phase her much. BUT, we showed NO fear in front of her. A five inch incision in the base of my daughters skull where they are permanently removing a piece of her skull etc, I was scared to death. BUT, it was supposed to be one surgery. I stayed pretty calm. Now, at eight years old, they let me go back with her when they put her to sleep. I held myself together until I got out of there and back to my husband. Then I fell completely apart. Any surgery is scary...PERIOD. Just be careful of what fears he hears of yours, and what you say to others in his presence. That is my BIGGEST advice.

Mich

October 31, 2006
12:29 pm
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jastypes
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Thanks, Mich. He's 20 years old. He has to have a CT scan to determine how much of the ear is affected. I shouldn't be reading so much crap on the internet. It could be cancer. Could be benign. it definitely needs surgery. It could leave him with better hearing than before, or leave him completely deaf in that ear.

November 1, 2006
3:32 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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Jas,

First, sorry it has taken me so long to respond...

Reading on anything related to something physical on the internet is mental suicide..REALLY. I have come to that conclusion. Because then you worry about everything that it could be, and takes your focus off of what it is. I do it too, but it isn't a healthy idea. Pull up pediatric rectal bleeding and see what scares the hell out of me.

Bear in mind too that I am not a good one for the "what it could be's" and what it probably will never be. The people born with my daughters birth defect, 5% of them will develop hydrocephalus, and she did. My son had his tonsils and adenoids removed and he is one of very few cases in his ENT's office where his adenoids grew back. So, I take a good look at what could happen and panic over it.

Now, the possibility of cancer? have they said anything about it? Likely, or not? What part is he worried about the most? At 20, he isn't as naive as my daughter was at 8. He knows a lot of what it could be..What is he thinking as a worst case scenario? Have they said what would happen if it was cancer?

Just let me know. Sorry so full of questions. Just trying to get the info to help you out.

Scared

November 1, 2006
3:51 pm
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jastypes
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I think it's probably safe to assume it is not cancer, but that's what scares my son. My mother is going through cancer treatments right now, so it's on the front of all of our minds.

Oh boy, yeah, reading things on the internet is definitely making me crazy. I think I've got him diagnosed. LOL. So why do I have to wait for a stupid doctor to tell me what's wrong???

Yup, I'm pretty much completely warped. I'm trying to put into practice my one day at a time philosophy. Just for today, I have what I need. Just for today, Adam took his prescribed meds. CT scan is scheduled for Friday morning. I have absolutely nothing to do about this until then -- except pray and ask others to pray as well.

Now, how are your little darlings doing? And how are you holding up?

November 1, 2006
8:16 pm
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lolli
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praying for you and your son jastypes

((jas))

November 1, 2006
9:42 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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My little ones are ok I guess. The oldest one, is catching the flu crap that my five year old has had. My five year old is back out of bed for the fifth time tonight complaining about his butt hurting. I am so tired of all of this. I am worn out to be honest Jas. Really worn out. But I am trying to be strong for my babies. It just isn't easy anymore. It has been the longest four years of my life. And that is saying a lot.

I am holding you close to my heart with what you are going through with your son. I am keeping you both in my thoughts.

Mich

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