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Salmon, how is it going today?
January 18, 2005
10:06 am
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artist 2
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i was late in getting in on your post, but wanted to offer myself for feedback. I left a good man because I was bored, sexually frustrated, and felt he didn't understand the "new me". I was going through a mid-life crisis of sorts, when I realized how much we had grown apart. I then saw the opportunity to bail out of the relationship for these reasons. I felt trapped. However, looking back on it, I realize I lost the best most loving man I've ever known. It's my loss and I can't get him back. Now I'm alone and lonely and think about him often.

What's the status of your marriage? Do my comments help at all?

January 18, 2005
11:20 am
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artist 2
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Salmon are you here today?

January 18, 2005
9:29 pm
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salmon
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Dear artist 2,

What a nice note from out of the blue! Thank you so very much for you enlightening information. I guess I am hoping that SOMEDAY she will regret what she did to me and the family and hope the paramour turns out to be a horses a--. Surprisingly to me, what prompted your move virtually mirrors what my wife said about hers. She's reached a milestone decade age and decided she needed something new (HER midlife crisis) and she is also bored with the relationship as well as saying repeatedly we've grown apart in spite of my efforts. She too said she felt trapped! This is probably part of the reason for the affair. However, during the "falling in lust" phase neither party can do wrong but as my counselor said once this is behind her, she will start seeing "his warts". I couldn't have put it better nor could I be more hopeful.

She is moving ahead with the breakup and has told me repeatedly (as recent as last night) there is no turning back on HER part. I'm still not there but her rudeness and outright meaness is helping me to shut her out. As for you comments, they are absolutely spot on and just what I need right now. Its been difficult at best and your comments lifted me just a tiny bit and I am very grateful to you for that.

Salmon

January 19, 2005
7:57 am
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salmon
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Dear artist 2,

Are YOU here today?

Salmon

January 19, 2005
11:09 am
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artist 2
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Yes, I'm here.... and it took me five years to realize what I was going through (mid-life). It took me five years to realize I had lost a good man. But, I am moving on with my life. Maybe if I had seen my husband also going through change--kind of like running along side me, also experiencing change in his life--I might have felt he understood me. But he just kind of seemed to block my way instead. I felt wild and wanted to be free. I was determined to follow through with the breakup as well.

Let me know if I can answer any more questions for you!

Peace, artist 2

January 20, 2005
12:29 am
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salmon
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Dear artist 2,

Since you read my first thread, you have a pretty good idea of what I am going through. The biggest hurt for me is the betrayal in addition to my lack of understanding what really got me to this point. She is basically refusing to communicate with me beyond ocassional bussiness like discussions but more often than not shes reminiscing of what she feels are wrongs from 15 or 20 years ago and trying to attack my actions back then and demand an answer as to why I did what I did...strange to put it mildly. I know she wants freedom but, as we say in the military, freedom is not free. There is a price to pay and for me its from my emotional bank account. I guess my question for you is when the hell will she pay the piper emotionally for what she has done to me and the family all in the name of her damn lust? Does she really believe her own denials and does she really believe I am that blind and stupid enough to believe her lies? I guess those unresolved questions in trying figure out her thinking are keeping me stuck where I am and I would greatly appreciate your advice/opinion on this. My sincerest thanks for your time.

Salmon

January 20, 2005
10:41 am
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She will pay in her own time.... but you might not know about it. Her pain will be in realizing what she lost because of her urge to flight.

Best for you to move on, let her go and wait to see what happens. My ex was open to me for a couple of years after my flight. I was too numb to realize love awaited in his arms.

Remind her on occasion what she is missing. You are an awesome man!

January 21, 2005
12:03 am
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salmon
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Dear artist 2,

How do you suggest I remind her on occassion of what she's missing? Do you mean now or later? Some suggestions would be really appreciated as it sounds like a good idea even as I move on. Thanks a million again for your wonderful insight.

Salmon

January 25, 2005
8:14 pm
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salmon
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Dear artist 2,

Are you still around? Wanted to chat but if you are unable, I certainly want to thank you for your wonderful, feely given advice and information. Thank you also for being such a caring person; enough to reach out to me in my time of need. My best to you regardless!

Salmon

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