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Safe me from my sad life
February 6, 2010
1:39 am
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learningself
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September 24, 2010
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I'm young, 23, but I already feel a little too overwhelmed and somewhat disgusted with this world. Much of the time I feel it is hopeless, and just want to give up. I don't feel like anyone is supportive and loving towards me, but I'm always giving. I'm mad at the world, many people in it, sometimes myself, and sometimes even God. I am a codependent woman and I'm scared of how sad my life is becoming. Please help.

February 6, 2010
2:34 am
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fantas
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September 29, 2010
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Learning, Welcome to the site and congratulations for seeking help. You are definitely on your way to make your life better for you. Have you tried any from of therapy? I would suggest trying it if you aren't already. You can also get the book codependent no more. I hope you get some responses. It's usually slow in the weekend.

Keep posting your story. Sometimes it helps just to write your thoughts out.

February 6, 2010
7:29 am
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bonni
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Dear LearningSelf,
Fantas is right that counseling can really help when we feel what you are now feeling.

I read something years ago that I believe is true - we teach people how to treat us. I hear you say that you give and give, yet I ask you this: what was the last kind gift you gave to yourself? Are you giving your SELF away or are you giving of your self? We each pretty much already have within ourselves what we need. If you are giving too much of yourself, without giving to yourself, without nourishing your own soul, most people will suck the life out of you, not intentionally but because you are on the buffet. I realize that this sounds contradictory to counseling, but counseling is a formal relationship with someone who is trained to help you find what you need within yourself.

From sadness, there can be joy. From pain, healing. From questions, answers.

Keep talking and sharing. You may not be to a point yet that what I'm saying makes sense, but recognizing that your life is not what you want IS an important step in making it what you DO want.

bonni

February 6, 2010
12:34 pm
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learningself
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I have suffered from depression for a long time and have been seeing a LCSW on and off since summer of 2006. I have seen psychiatrists and APRNs, too. I have tried many medications and read many books.

Currently, I am seeing a LCSW (a new one since my last complete break-down, which was around September) and an APRN. I'm on medications, but HATE them. To me, they are a daily reminder that I am messed up ... I know this isn't true, but it's how I feel.

The codependency issue had been a problem for a while, I'm just recently putting a name to it. I didn't realize that what I have been doing and why I have been feeling so sad is codependency. It's hard, because I am so young. I learned to be codependent in a home of five children, myself being the oldest. It was my job to take care of everybody, and I still feel that obligation. I don't know how long I have had the thought--"I just NEED people to like me." Not that I need everyone to like me, but if I don't at least try to make them like me by being nice, doing things for them, going out of my way, and etc. As I am getting older, I understand that it is completely ok if some people don't like me, because no matter what I do, some people will not like me. But I still feel like I have that expectation for perfection with all my friends, my boyfriend, and especially my family.

February 6, 2010
2:18 pm
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darkeyes
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((learningself)))there is a light at the end of this journey! yes you are very young in learning that you are codependant but you are also blessed that youve learnt so young im 47 & realized only a few mts ago that i was codependant..pet you said you need people to like you, but from what ive learnt in all this is that i had to begin to love me first and thats not a easy thing to do.. instead of looking for love and validation outside of you try to look within..give youself the nuturing that you should have got growing up but sometimes life and our parents are unable to do that, no blame or fault...

darkeyes

February 6, 2010
3:15 pm
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Tumbleweed8
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September 27, 2010
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LearningSelf, I also learned I was codependent at around age 50 so I think you are fortunate to have learned it so young. If you stay on the journey of getting yourself back again and maybe even realizing who you are for the first time, it will be so helpful to you for a lifetime. Well worth any effort put into it with reading, meetings, posting on sites like this one and whatever else you can do to learn more. Moving forward with learning has helped me so much even in this stage of my life. I always go back to reading the books by Melody Beattie whenever I start to feel unbalanced again which does happen, but I always find help to get back on track with her books. Wishing you the best.

February 9, 2010
5:16 pm
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BAREFOOTGIRL
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September 30, 2010
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Welcome, I too am new here as well and I also find myself alone and wondering why people hurt me and walk all over me, cause I let them, I have no idea how not too, and If i do stan up for myself, I am afraid they will leave me, I know your struggles..sorry to hear. I am in my 40s and I have yet to figure this out in life.

I have one friend who tells me all about her dinner parties knowing I have none to attend, who tells me all bout her vacations and etc, knowing we seldom go anywhere, now is this on purpose? I do not know, but it hurts me alot...

I feel that I am not able to depend on people and yet I am always ready to help others out, I am so tired of this....

gosh I can relate so well sorry i was not able to help!

February 14, 2010
6:29 am
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leanna
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people like us need help.there is no other way.what ever it takes.i am going to go to the alanon meetings.i have never been to one.but i have to start somewhere.i am like you i am always there to help.and get nothing in return.because i dont ask for anything in return.i was made to feel like i was a nobody almost from the time i was born.my dad said all a women was good for was to have babies and clean house.he was a alcoholic.my mother died young.i think he worked her to death.when he passed away i felt guilty for a while.but now im just angry.he had no right to make me feel unworthy and unloveable.it has taken me years to get to this far.i never liked my dad and i felt guilty about that.but not anymore.

February 14, 2010
6:33 am
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leanna
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you have to realize someone in your life has made you feel the way you do.if all your friend does is brag about her vacations and doesnt care about how you are hurting .then i would tell her im not interested in her .i need to take care of me.and i would not call her friend.

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