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Sadness
August 15, 2002
4:08 pm
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harmonygirl
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September 29, 2010
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I'm sad with myself. So disappointed. On the outside I appear to be an intelligent woman. On the inside I'm a frightened little girl. Afraid to walk away from the man I love. I know he loves me too but not in the way I want him to. Not in the lifetime commited, soul-sharing, soul-baring way I so desperately desire. He's a great guy. He's never led me on, never lied to me. He knows what he wants out of life and sticks to his convictions. I love him but I'm so empty inside, so unhappy, so sad. But so scared to walk away. I want to say to him, "I love you so much but this relationship just isn't fulfilling for me. I fear that you'll never want the level of commitment that I want with you. Life is too short. I have to go now." Just the thought of it makes me want to fall to the floor in sobs. What if it's the wrong decision? What if I'm rushing things? I'm so sad.

August 15, 2002
5:58 pm
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lurker
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September 24, 2010
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Are you able to discuss any of this with him? Have you tried already? I'm sure he'd like to have some idea of what you're feeling. Better to bring it up now than later.

Are you concerned about how he'll react, or that you won't be able to get your point across?

I had some big issues with my (ex) girfriend. That relationship was doomed, but at least we were able to talk about the big picture, and reach a respectful understanding which prevented things from getting nasty.

I think I still fall somewhat into the male stereotype and find it difficult to talk about my emotions... the words just don't flow easily. But I still think I (and a lot of men) are able to at least comprehend someone's outpourings.

Maybe you won't resolve things in one discussion, but he will at least be able to understand that you aren't happy.

August 15, 2002
6:01 pm
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mossrose
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Im so happy im getting divorced, i dont care if he doesnt love me in the way i wanted any more. Man there is a great vast ocean out there and im meeting the coolest people. The stuff my ex said about me is just sheer BS

August 15, 2002
7:57 pm
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lurker
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Agreed -- if you have a gut feeling that you need to leave, then you should. It's a disservice to yourself (and to the other person, if you still care about them) to remain in an unfullfilling relationship.

It's possible to part ways peacefully. Doesn't happen all the time, but it can, if you communicate properly. I had a hard time leaving an ex (in fact it took a couple of tries) but in the end we remained friendly.

With another ex, it ended badly. I tried to do a post-relationship friends thing which worked briefly, but she became hostile to me so I gave it up. Doesn't matter now. I was trapped, and needed to get out, so I did.

Everyone's self interests need to be met.

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