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sad and mad at myself today
February 22, 2005
4:27 pm
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lostinkfo
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September 24, 2010
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Hi...what a nite I had...How stupid can one person be? I let him ignore me and not come home for 2 days basically or not call and come home at 4 or 6 in the morning...Then last night I guess I was happy to have some attention from him....We had sex..................I was doing so good and standing my ground and going out all weekend with my friends and I just took a step backwards...Damn it...When is enough ever going to be enough...??? I am not real happy with myself today..

February 22, 2005
4:32 pm
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addicts wife
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September 29, 2010
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Lostinkfo...
we all take steps backwardsat times.
I know youre beating yourself up, but remember , you are human, and It is ok.
You will get thu this, and you will "find your way."
Its frustrating, adn strange how we walk into the same thing we faught ot get out of, but it happens.. Tomorrow is another day, and it will get better for ya'

February 22, 2005
4:43 pm
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lostinkfo
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Addictswife...I know that to be true about tomorrow is another day but damn I was so ready to just call it quits with him...All he has to do is be nice to me for a day and that same old feeling pops in my heart...I love that guy so much...We talked last night about his addiction and how I am doing things on my own and how I really don't need him much anymore...He told me that I only think black and white on his issue..It is My way or the highway....I just hate that he is destroying our life and his own health...I am having such a hard time this quarter in school and can not seem to concentrate like I did before...I thought that we had the same morals and values and after 4 years of knowng him find out we don't....God it hurts so bad sometimes....:0(

February 22, 2005
6:13 pm
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woundedspirit
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September 29, 2010
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Consider it progress that you recognize you goofed and are mad about it so maybe it wont happen next time. Im a total hypocrite to say that :0( I do the same exact thing and give in...Im sorry you are hurting today.

February 22, 2005
10:44 pm
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msguud
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September 24, 2010
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I think it's high time we stand up for what WE want in a relationship, not what the hell they want all the time. Yeah, it is my way or the highway. Don't like it? Get out.

(I'm gonna start saying that in my relationships).

February 22, 2005
11:09 pm
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lostinkfo
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September 24, 2010
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It is so hard to watch him fight his demons even in his sleep he is fighting them(talking in his sleep and thrashing around)....But Sometimes when he is awake, I just want to take him and shake him and say "WAKE UP" what you are doing is destroying everything that we dreamed about...all our hopes are going down the tubes here...The only dreams I have now are dreams that I have to do myself...I want to finish school, get a great job, a house and have extra money after paying the bills....written down it looks a lot easier than it is but it is possible...

I waited until my kids were grown and now I am going back to college..I have been going for a year now..For the most part I am enjoying myself a lot...I don't feel like the odd "girl" out because of my age because there are lot of "girls" my age doing the same thing...I just got tired of working jobs that I wasn't going anywhere...
I am hoping to make all or most of those dreams come true...I don't think I am asking alot of me...Just have to keep focused and stop going backwards...

February 23, 2005
10:44 am
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CAMER
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September 30, 2010
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we all make mistakes and regret things we do...that doesnt mean we are "bad" people, so you slept with him...just learn from it, and know that next time think of you and how you want your life to be, stand strong, and i guarantee it won't happen again.

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