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S.O.S. for Michigan- needs support!
October 19, 2006
6:19 pm
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ggfred4
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yes

October 19, 2006
6:20 pm
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lovinglife
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I'm going to lay down for a bit...will check back.

October 19, 2006
6:24 pm
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StronginHim77
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Mich -

Please call Jim. This is an emergency and I believe (from all that you have shared about him) that he will be able to talk you through it.

- Ma

October 19, 2006
6:26 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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I have to go....Talk to you all later...

October 19, 2006
6:26 pm
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lovinglife
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(((Mich)))

October 19, 2006
6:27 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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Thanks LL, you guys are all I have right now, and I don't deserve that. Get some rest...Talk to you later

October 19, 2006
6:27 pm
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ggfred4
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I will say a prayer for you and your family...HUGS

October 19, 2006
6:28 pm
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lovinglife
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and ((GG)) & ((Ma Strong))

October 19, 2006
6:30 pm
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StronginHim77
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((((((MICH)))))))

I will keep checking in thru the evening to see if you are all right.

- Ma

October 19, 2006
6:36 pm
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revelation
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Hey, whats up? Whats going on with Mich?

October 19, 2006
6:40 pm
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StronginHim77
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Rev -

Scroll back up to the top where LL has copied and reposted what Mich shared on another thread...it's near the top

October 19, 2006
6:59 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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Still not doing well at all, but am leaving for a while...I can't be here, I need to get away...

October 19, 2006
7:02 pm
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lovinglife
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just thought of something...I worked at an adolescent psyche hospital...don't know if it's different with adults, or even different from State to State, but even with the threat of suicide, doesn’t have to be an attempt, patients are admitted and their watched for 72 hours and in the meantime their assessed if long term treatment is in order.

Now I have two adult female friends, one who succeeded in her attempt (buried her just over a year ago-heartbreaking because she never received help), and the other who has admitted herself a few times when she KNOWS she is unsafe. Mich, please let us know when you hear from Jim.

October 19, 2006
7:03 pm
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lovinglife
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are u still here?

October 19, 2006
7:03 pm
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lovinglife
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Mich

October 19, 2006
7:07 pm
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revelation
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Mich,

The fact that you have reached out for help is very very positive here...it means that there is something, something big holding you here. So if you could please, for all of us here, do one big big favour for us...sit down, on your own, and think really hard about what that big thing is.

I have been suicidal at two points last year. Once I actually took the pills but called my sister, the other time I bought them and had planned to drive up the mountains and take them..instead I drove to my aunts house and I think while there my spirit must have died and been re-born, because it was at that point I had been reached rock-bottom, and it was at that exact point that life turned around and things got better, I have never looked back.

I can say now what it was that made me drive to my aunts house instead of to the mountains...I just needed one more time before I went, to be listened to...to not be judged...to be treated with warm and gentle kindness...that was my "big thing" that was keeping me here. I got what I needed at my aunts kitchen table and what do you know, I didn't feel so desperate anymore. Mich I know how dark and hopeless it may seem right now where you are...but there is a light somewhere...I swear to you there is. You are at rock-bottom and I'm telling you now, the only way you can go from there is up...yes you may hit some more bumps...but I swear, from here, you are at a distinct advantage from those who are still on their way down...you can only look up, there is no more down to go...please look up...look at whats keeping you here.

Rev.

October 19, 2006
8:07 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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Thanks Rev, and LL..And Strong, and everyone else...

I never left because it doesn't feel safe to me, but I can't talk much as h is around...

October 19, 2006
8:15 pm
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ggfred4
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scared, just wanted you to know that I have not left you, I am here

October 19, 2006
8:17 pm
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cyndra820
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(((((Sacred))))

I'm not a doctor. If I stick my foot in my mouth SOMEONE kick me.

It sounds like a major depressive episode. I'm not sure, but I think Ma Strong asked about your calling Jim. Did you? Have you heard anything? If you are getting his service tell them it's an EMERGENCY. I am sure he will call you back and walk you through it.

If you can kiss your kids, hug them, even the ones who are in bed. Just put your hands on them. We know you love your children. The fact that you think you are a bad mother (which I don't for a moment believe) tells me you are just the opposite. You are holding on.

Everyone is holding you close. None of us are going to let you go. We don't want you to leave us, got that kiddo?

I know you don't know me, but having read your posts since I found this "home" I kinda know you. I think you are wonderful. I want to get to know more.

October 19, 2006
8:18 pm
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kirikiri
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Ok,Mich whoever told you that your horrible is a liar because you have a lot of people here who care about your life and your situation which means that we are your friends and YOU ARE WORTHY of friendship and friendship means happiness inspite of.

Do you know how special you are to God and your children????

Suicide is not the answer, Mich.And you are strong simply because God made you. In his image.

If you have a friend in person to call, go ahead and call.
And keep intouch here.

Your friend,

Kiri.

October 19, 2006
9:14 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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i am around for a few...

October 19, 2006
9:19 pm
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lovinglife
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Mich - I just got up...got in a little sleep...working an overnight kicks my *ss, just too old for this : ) ... and then when I'm tired, can you imagine that I get all weird & goofy?? (my poor co-workers).

I'll check back in before I head out tonight...then again when I get home in the a.m. and maybe even in betweeen (if I can remember my computer password at work). Take care & hang in there- I'll be thinking about you.

LL

October 19, 2006
9:21 pm
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lovinglife
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...cross posted with ya. How are you doing AND has Jim got back to you yet?

October 19, 2006
9:23 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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Thanks LL. I don't want to be here, but I didn't feel safe leaving tonight. I am so confused and lost. I am so angry at me right now that it isn't even funny...I will get over this I hope. I am still waiting to hear back from Jim. If I had left I think that I would have been calling him and had both of us scared to death, and me totally unsafe.... I know I can call him, I am just so sad, I did apologize to my daughter tonight and she said, "it's ok mom", I told her it isn't but that I promised that I will get better.

October 19, 2006
9:38 pm
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lovinglife
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you're going to get through tonight Mich... but you know as well as myself though that this *feeling* is not just going to magically go away but it will- with help. And that is the whole thing here. You deserve and can live a life worth living...and what you are feeling is just that...a feeling and we don't always have to act on our feelings, right?

Jim will have a plan, will have suggestions...and you too, what can you think of that will help??? What does Mich know she needs?

Glad to hear you promised your daughter that mom will get better. My sons have been through alot with me also. They've seen me just about every which way. Back in January of this year when I finally got a few tools to help me (came out of hopefully my last major depression)... I remember just crying everytime I thought about how much my sons had taken from them because pretty much their whole childhood - mom was sick. I've had to fight for my sons because I am bound and determined to break a cycle.

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