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rude employer - any ideas
January 14, 2006
2:34 pm
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hopeful for change
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I am self employed dog groomer. My place of employment is a Vet's office. Their are currently only three total people who work their. The Vet and her mom who run's the office. The Vet is pretty nice,yet rarely even says two words to me. They don't even say good morning unless ido first.

The mom is the problem really, but they are both rude in my eyes. Just wondering if anyone has any ideas how to handle this better before I quit.

I have been there for thirteen months now and came close to quitting many times. The mom overbooks my work and I have talked to her several times about it. The thing that gets me the most is all the time, they order out food or go get lunch as if I am not even their. Sometimes I am so overbooked I can't even stop for lunch. Everytime I go and get a coffee or something,I always ask if anyone else needs anything. They always say no.

This Christmas when customer's were bringing in homemade cookies and stuff as presents, they just hid them from me as if I am not a part of anything.

They typically don't speak to me, which may be good. I just think they are really rude.

I don't want to quit my job as I love the dogs that I have. They never complain about anything I do. Last Christmas I had been their a month and they gave me a $50 bonus. This year after 13 months I got $20 bucks.

Everyone else that has worked their has quit because of the mom being rude.

The reason Ihave asked on several occasions not to be overbooked is because my back has been injured.

Is it me or is this just rude? If I have to see them eat hot chinese food in front of me one more time I might scream lol.

January 14, 2006
2:57 pm
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jewel2
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How do you get paid exactly? Are you on a set wage from the Vet or do you receive a certain amount per dog? The only reason I ask is because if you are paid via the vet that might explain why you get overbooked; the more you work the more the vet earns. If your wage has nothing to do with the vet then I am wondersing why the mom is taking your bookings? Couldn't you have a seperate phone line for your business thet people leave messages on, that way you have FAR more control - you could even leave 10 minutes in between appointments to make call backs.
Perhaps the vet & the mum consider you a seperate business (especially if you are just renting space from them) and don't feel obliged to 'share' the Xmas goodies with you? Personally I still think it is rude. I would talk to them about it - express your upset at feeling 'overlooked' or find another space to rent.

January 14, 2006
6:58 pm
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Kysah
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Hello,

It wouldn't take me long to end working there. It would not be worth it to me, enduring the kind of behavior you find rude on a daily basis. Its not as if you're in any kind of emotional commitment with them, so why endure?

I agree that their behavior, if not exactly explained accurately as rude, to me, is exclusionary, elitist. To let you know, somehow, you're not 'on their level' is how I see it.

There are many kinds of people in the world, and many will not behave in this manner. I say quit.

Kysah

January 14, 2006
7:44 pm
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Rasputin
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Hey Hopeful - Working with weird, rude, or freak people is very tiring and even energy sapping. I've been there several times and still and I do continue my universal ever method of turning the other cheek or going the extra mile.

I admit that it is not easy to do this "turn the other cheek" it takes so much humility and modesty to do it.

On the other hand, I can see these people as not very rude, rather kind and appreciative in this following sentence:

"I don't want to quit my job as I love the dogs that I have. They never complain about anything I do. Last Christmas I had been their a month and they gave me a $50 bonus. This year after 13 months I got $20 bucks."

* They never complain about anything I do. This is AWESOME!!!

* You have been there only a month and they gave you $50 bonus.

* This year after 13 months I got $ 20 bucks.

C'mon Hopeful, how can they be rude or cruel if they did that to you???

They are showing love, respect, appreciation, generosity to you. Could it be that because you're smart, they are being competitive with you and consider you as a threat to them since they are the owner/employer? I wish my hateful employer/supervisor could treat me like that when I perceive them as rude!!!

I would recommend you to be nice, kind, generous with them and turn the other cheek even when they treat you otherwise! This is the best way to quench any hostility in the environment anywhere.

Honeslty when a salesman is rude to me, I stop buying from his store or office. But these people do NOT seem to be rude by the way they treat you.

Best of luck and keep us posted!

~Ras~

January 14, 2006
7:48 pm
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MIVI
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Are you self employed or you work for them? It is not clear for me.
But before you quit why do´t you try to act in a different way.
Don´t say good morning nor ask them if they need anything.
I agree with the previous poster that they are elitist. Ignore them as they ignore you.
Set your limits and don´t let them overload you. If that doesn´t work you
might look for another job before you quit.
Regards MIVI

January 14, 2006
10:45 pm
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hopeful for change
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I am self employed I make 70 percent comission. However I basically had to build my own clients over the past year. They don't take out taxes etc or pay workmen's comp or pay for anything I need. It is really a service provided to their customers, sometimes also brings in new customers.

I have tried just treating them how they treat me,and I think they liked that. Then I started eventually saying good morning etc and they will reply but not like they care.

All of the other people have quit because of the mom. A few times I have almost quit and had to bite my tongue I was fuming, and the mom knew it. Then after that she started totally being sweet and kissing my but kinda. However It eventually ends up the same. I just don't understand why they treat me like they do.

I have only been in this business for a few years have been earning my clients and getting better at my trade,it's rough in the beginning. Working for a vet is a huge advantage in a lot of ways. I get discounts and I don't have to stay till the dogs are picked up etc.

I just don't like the way they treat me and don't know how to talk tothem without quitting.

PS I also thought a 20 Christmas Bonus was rude! Maybe I shouldn't see it that way but...i do.

January 14, 2006
11:15 pm
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Anonymous
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"If I have to see them eat hot chinese food in front of me one more time I might scream lol."

LOL, yep that would be my breaking point as well.

It's good to hear that you're not feeling singled out by her rudenes...In the work place, that would make it a whole different ball game. Based on your post, she is equally rude to everyone. It sounds like a personality thing she's probably not going to change to fast.

Think I would pick my battels on this one. I would discuss the overbooked work schedule because it seems to be affecting your back and could lead to health problems.

I would discuss coming up with an all inclusive plan for lunch because eating definately increases productivity...it's a win-win.

I think you have a right to inquire about the decreasing bonus. Is there a fiscal emergency to be aware of? Should you and your clients be concerned?

Personally, I don't think I would sweat the non-greetings when you come into the office...This may just be where her personality/demeanor is very different than your own.

I would try to work especially hard to give myself whatever her slience is not giving me and ask my non-work buddies for support.

January 14, 2006
11:26 pm
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balancesekr
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hi hopeful,
Me personally, depending on how bad I felt daily about it would either

1) Confront them. I would express your feelings. For example say, I enjoy working here but I feel excluded. I would like to have a better working relationship with you. How do you feel about this?

Keep it in I statements so they don't get pissed and the how do you feel about this asks them what the deal is!

2) Look for another place to work. No matter where you go, there will always be the person or people who will NEVER say hello to you first. It is ridiculous, but true. But, I am sure you can find some cool, personable people elsewhere. Why torture yourself daily around these people, you deserve to be talked with and considered when lunch is being ordered, etc...

Bonuses are great and all, but give me a break. Cracking a freaking smile and saying hello won't break them, and if it does, smell ya later, I would leave.

Good luck to you.
balance

January 14, 2006
11:43 pm
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zinnia
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If I were you, I'd quietly collect the names of all the dog owners who like me and then set up my own business. If you were not doing an excellent job they ouwld not be able to overbook you.

Check your contract to see if there is a "noncompete" clause. You might have to move across a town line to do it, but all you need is a pobox for the business address in most cases you could do that.

These don't sound like the kind of people who would have that in a labor contract, but if they used one out of a book, it might have that in it.

They sound like a lot of the people around where I now live, which is a small inbred town in which it seems people only associate with relatives.
They really don't "see" people they did not grow up with or have as part of their families.

If the vet family is making you feel like a piece of furniture, chances are it is because they really do perceive you that way and you cannot change something as unconscious as that. Best to just save your sanity and get a fresh start. Collect the addresses of all the people sending you their dogs now, and send them a nice invitation to bring their dogs to you under your new business name. I'll bet you do real well!

(But look for the non-compete clause first)

January 15, 2006
9:43 am
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hopeful for change
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thanks those are all good ideas. I do know for sure to I have lost customer because the mom is so rude. I have slowly been getting my customers phone numbers myself so that I can eventually try to move.

The strange thing is, the Dr. is really sweet to animals thank god. She obviously has a problem breaking free of her mom.

I don't have a contract.

I do feel offended by their lunch routine, because this is my job and I don't even talk to people all day. I am usually talking to dogs and singing to them etc. -Then all the time I see the pizza guy come and I just feel pissed. I just think they are rude. This is a bad time of year for this industry. However I think I will start making differnt plans. I know their will always be difficult people to deal with. This is one of the reasons I wanted to be my own boss.

I am definitley going to start working on changing this situation.

January 15, 2006
12:05 pm
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lollipop3
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Hi Hopeful,

I can relate so much to your story. I was a dog groomer for 10 years and worked for several people much like the ones you've described here. I worked for one woman that was EXACTLY the way you described. It only lasted two weeks before I quit. One thing I have learned is that is too short to deal with that on a daily basis. Another thing that I learned was that good dog groomers are hard to come by and found that I didn't have to tolerate rude business owners because there were so many more that would hire me.

As long as you are a good groomer and good with the animals, most people would jump at the chance to hire you.

My suggestion would be to find work elsewhere or to take that leap and open your own place. The start up costs for a salon are relatively inexpensive and the overhead costs are tolerable as well, especially if you're able to bring some of your clients along with you.

There are so many opportunities for you out there.....don't allow these rude people to abuse you.

Take care and good luck,
Lolli

January 15, 2006
6:12 pm
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lollipop3
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Oh, by the way, in case you're wondering WHAT is too short.......life is too short.. LOL. sorry about that.

Love,
Lolli

January 15, 2006
10:24 pm
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hopeful for change
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Wow it's great to hear from another groomer who know's what I am experiencing. I am going to take the steps I need to do something else. I guess its scary taking the step to start your own business. My husband and I already have a construction company but the overheads are so huge, and the winter time thing kills us. Knowing grooming declines in the winter to really is scary. However I am going to start looking elsewhere thanks.

the other thing I am kinda afraid of is that just being in this for a short time I always think I am not as good as others etc. The only way I feel better is when the dogs come back.

January 15, 2006
10:27 pm
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zinnia
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Maybe in the winter you could offer dog-walking to your regular customers.

I bet they would like that. And then they might pay for a grooming appointment on top of a walk.

January 15, 2006
10:38 pm
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lost and found
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have u ever thought about just telling the mom-hey "mom" next time u order chinese food, i want to place an order to. i'll pay for my own. (and see what she does)

January 16, 2006
1:08 am
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hopeful for change
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good idea maybe it could be that simple

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