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roomates?
February 5, 2004
12:23 pm
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1carmen
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my bf of 2 years has broken up with me again...Because i've been such a basketcase about the whole situation he agreed to live with me for a bit till i start to feel better, but were still sleeping together and doing stuff together. However, when i ask him questions like where hes going or when hes coming home he freaks out on me and turns his phone off for the whole day. I stay home crying and pacing all day long unable to funtion,i'm about to lose my job.
Then he comes home at some point and kisses me and makes me feel better cuz he feels like crap when he sees the condition i'm in.
A couple of days later just when i think that everything is getting better it happens again. the full story is in the thread named "again". Please somebody tell me what i should do...i cant just let go

February 5, 2004
12:39 pm
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Wanttobewell
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Hi Carmen,,,I'll read your thread later. I have to work now but just popped in to see what's going on.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It sounds just awful,,,BUT,,,
No matter what,,you have to have a job,,,right?

Also,,,you're never going to get it together with him staying there...

What about your friends, family? Is there anyone you can maybe have stay with you until you feel better? Someone to talk to you,,,someone to do things with and go out with?

How about some time for you? Just you? You say you can't let go. I understand that feeling. It's scary to have to let go of someone who is familiar to you. What are you most afraid of about him leaving? Being alone? I'm sorry if you've answered these questions in your previous threads,,,I'll read it later...

W.

February 5, 2004
12:43 pm
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1carmen
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i'm terrified of the thought of not being with him...not knowing where he is...thanx for any advice wanttobewell...

February 5, 2004
1:20 pm
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themis
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hi Carmen.......relationships can be our drug of choice. That is what I hear you describing. When I feel sad, lonely, uncomfortable in my own skin...........I look for something/someone to take me out of my discomfort. I'm coming from a broken relationship and it hurts.......and gee I want to phone.....I want to pretend that everything is ok so I can Exhale..........but if I get the 'exhale' from booze or drugs or him...........I'm always left looking for more. The satiation I feel is fleeting.
In not phoning him........I remind myself of what I would have on the other side of the phone call. Momentarily I would feel good but it would be a quick fix. I would then feel weak, foolish, needy, etc. and my self esteem would be lower than when I began.
I have a God and I am reminding myself that I am loved and that He/She only wants the very best for me. Maybe God has something else waiting for me and if I put myself back where I've come from I could wreck the opportunity of that happening. Its tough, but working.

February 11, 2004
1:46 pm
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MEC
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Hi Carmen,

I have been going through similar stuff lately with one guy and did something similar (what your boyfriend is doing to you) with my boyfriend of 3 years. I just recently came to a realization that you cannot force someone to love you (which is what my boyfriend was trying to do to me and I was trying to do to this other guy). And, you don't want to have someone be with you just because they feel sorry for you.

It's hard to let go. I know it. Trust me. I think you should try to get out of this situation though. All you are doing is prolonging your misery and setting yourself up for something much worse potentially.

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