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Revelation - We broke up this weekend..I must move on now.
September 13, 2005
2:06 pm
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exoticflower
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Rev, you are NOT being punished...right now you can only see one isolated part of your life, that which is behind you...but remember, there where years before this, and there will be years after this for other experiances, for your life to be touched other ways. We tend to look to the past and refuse the future when we are sad, but I promise you, the future is going to happen anyway, time will continue to pass, and new experiances WILL replace this one. You are going to be ok, I know it. Hugs, ef

September 14, 2005
6:11 am
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Regret
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Rev.,

Goodmorning to you dear cyber friend. I hope that you are well today (at least physically). How did counselling go? Just a note to check on you. Will be here most of the day so will keep checking in ok?

Hugs and kisses

September 14, 2005
7:11 am
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revelation
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Hello My dear friend,

Thanks to all for your continues support.

I went to my counsellor yesterday....wow I love it.

I'm booked for 4 more sessions, I asked him if he thought I needed more.
He said...well, we'll see, but we are getting into some pretty heavy issues here.

Yesterday I talked about my childhood, we made a connection...Because of my parents cycles of fighting when I grew up...I am now as an adult always waiting for the s*it to hit the fan, so to speak.

Because my parents would go thru phases of loving each other followed by sudden phases of hating each other nad drunken fights...even when they were not fighting I was always as a child watching and waiting for the "bad stuff" to happen, as a result in my adult relationships...I am always waiting for the "bad stuff" to happen to. So...here is my new mantra..."The Bad Stuff, doesn't always HAVE to happen" I need to focus more on the future, have faith that it will be a success, by being negative and doubtful about the future I am drawing negativity into my life. This will be a difficult obstacle to overcome as I am so used to thinking like this...but I am determined...I will push all negativity away...I will try to always focus on the positive.

September 14, 2005
7:13 am
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revelation
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Also...I feel the lexapro starting to work...I am not as anxious...I'm taking bach's rescue remedy also. I had a mini panic this monring but nothing compared to the attacks that I had had before that.

September 14, 2005
8:25 am
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Great stuff happening there! You will pull thru this fine. I hope that the bf/ex will also work on himself- not for you or the relationship but for himself- you know!

Anyway, you are doing well. Hang in there!

September 14, 2005
8:37 am
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Rasputin
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(((((Rev)))))

Honey, God/HP allows certain things to happen in our life for a purpose.

He allows negative things to take place so that He can draw positive things from them and let us grow up, mature and our faith increases, as a result.

What happened between you and your bf will prove to be positive, beneficial and blessful. You might not see it now, but in retrospect, you will, and your bf will too.

Remember babe, if you and your bf were meant to each other, you will get back to one another in time - just like a magnetic field and your life then will be strengthened for the rest of your life, coz it has been tested thru VERY TOUGH TIME. You both will be able to draw lessons in the future from this harsh trial when you both go thru another - and there will always be trials in our life.

Take care of your health, sweetie, keep the faith glowing!

(((Hugs & Prayers)))

September 14, 2005
2:53 pm
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depressionsucks78
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((((((((((rev))))))))))

what is bach's rescue remedy? i'm fishing for any kind of help at all now.

i am so desperate for answers, to make sense of all of the pain i am feeling.

i am so happy that you are doing better, i know we will all make it. it is just a question of how. right now, i am having SERIOUS doubts as to whether i will make it through this pile of shit.

i'm sorry for my language, but it's not directed at anyone, and i'm just angry, and it's the truth. i have to get it out, because there is no way i can keep holding it in.

love ya
~ds78

ps...did your friend ever have that "bump" yet? name?

September 15, 2005
5:33 am
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revelation
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Hi DS,

I'm in Ireland, so not all that sure if this stuff is available in US, but try a healthshop. It comes in a small bottle and you squirt a few drops on your tongue when you are feeling panicky. Its a natural herbal formula. Its contains extracts of Rock Rose, Impatiens, Clematis, Star of Bethlehem and Cherry Plum.
If you can't get it in the US, then maybe order it online?

My sister recommended it as she suffers from panic attacks...she says it takes the edge off, and it really does.

My friend had her bump on Sunday...a boy called Cameron..very cute.

I've just looked up "Bach's Rescue remedy's" online and looks like you can get it in the US, but it may be called "Nelson Bach"???

September 15, 2005
6:15 am
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MissBaker
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Rev,

Hi, I know how you are feeling, and you seem to have that little bit of hope that T is going to somehow change into this wonderful man that you want, but be honest with yourself, its just not working.

It seems that you need to move on and start working on you because, its not about him anymore its about you, and think about when you get to a point where you want to be with someone rather then feel the neeed to be with someone,

I was in denial for a long time wishing he would change.

But at the end of the day he may not change and he may not get a job, and thats life,

and maybe he will never see youside of the story but thats his stuff.

I hope you can move forward and think about you.

You should definatly start reading.

sending my love

September 15, 2005
6:52 am
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revelation
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HI All,

Thanks thanks thanks. I'm ok today, was a bit panicky this morning but I'm ok. I'm not making any major decisions on my relationship for now. I want to work on my own demons and I want to get back to being the person I used to be.

I need an injection of confidence!!!

September 15, 2005
7:33 am
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depressionsucks78
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(((((REV)))))

hi and thank you! i am suffering from a TON of panic right now, and it's totally freaking me out. would love to try something, ANYTHING that MIGHT help.

will check it out.

congrats to your friend. I like that name, for both a boy and a girl. it feels good to be able to take my mind off of my problems even for a minute or 2, to think about what's going on elsewhere. i needed that!

it's also jig's b-day today, anyone catches this, there's a party at 5:30 EST on here (not this thread, but this board) come if you like!

sorry rev, i couldn't resist plugging her party here...will probably plug it on every thread i make it to today.

love to all

~ds78

September 15, 2005
11:22 am
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revelation
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OK...don't be angry...but I contacted.

It occured to me that while I the woman he loved is being treated like public enemy number one....the guys in the band who he doesn't get on with...when he falls out with them he doesn't ignore them.

So I sent a text:

T, how come when u fall out with ur other friends u don't ignore them? How come I'm public enemy number 1?

...I won't get a reply...but...can anyone explain this?

September 15, 2005
1:00 pm
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taj64
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I hope you do not get a reply. No, not mad. But mistake don't you think? And we learn from our mistakes. Does this hurt you to contact? if it does, then make a note to start over. It is ok. IF you feel good about it, think about after a certain amount of time goes by, will you hurt if you do not get a response? Think about this too. If you get hurt, you will get hurt again. So not worth it to hurt yourself. But keep trying. Get back on the path to moving on. It will get better.

September 15, 2005
2:34 pm
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depressionsucks78
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no one is perfect rev! anyone here who would be mad at you for this, doesn't get it.

we all make mistakes, and that's ok. as long as we learn from them.

life is a learning process.

i love you rev. friends are important, remember that, k?

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