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revelation...... an update
October 23, 2006
2:49 pm
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needtoheal
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Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
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Wanted you to read this rev....

The layers I have

put around

the pain of

your going

are thin.

I walk softly

through

life,

adding thickness

each day.

A thought

or a feeling

of you

cracks the

surface.

A call

to you

shatters

it all.

And I spend

that

night

in

death.

Spinning

the first

layer

of life

with

the
sunrise.

author: unknown

I did it, rev..

He called

i did not take my cell phone with me to walk my son to school.
I used to do that
but I changed the habit.. no need for the phone..

He left a voice
message

saying what's up? good morning.. how's everything going...
then he said that he does not know if I had a good weekend or not,
that he was almost at work
he said that he will call from work
sometimes
but if I call back
and he does not answer the phone
it is because he is very busy.
he said that he will talk
to me later.

I HAVE CLOSED THE DOOR........

I OWE THIS MAN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING AT ALL.

HE DOES NOT DESERVE TO KNOW HOW MY WEEKEND WAS WITH THE KIDS..

HE DOES NOT DESERVE TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MY LIFE AT ALL..

THE DOOR IS CLOSED

AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ANSWERING ME

THIS MORNING

I WAS RAMBLING ON AND ON
AND I KNEW THAT IT WAS BECAUSE OF HIS VAGUENESS
AND ME ALSO BEING TIRED AND LIVING WITH ATTENTION DEFICIT IS ANOTHER REASON...

BUT LIKE I HAVE SAID
I HAVE EMBRACED MYSELF
AND I KNOW MY WEAKNESS
I WOULD RATHER
POST HERE
THAN TO SEND A TEXT MESSAGE
OR CALL HIM

THERE IS NO
REASON
FOR ME
TO OPEN
THE DOOR
OF COMMUNICATION
WITH HIM

FUNNY THAT HE ASSUMES THAT I WOULD CALL,.
AND HE ALSO WANTED TO KNOW IF I HAD A GOOD WEEKEND... AS IF IT WAS POSSIBLE FOR ME NOT TO HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND WITHOUT HIM...

THANKS AGAIN

LOVE.

i will heAL

October 23, 2006
3:50 pm
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revelation
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September 27, 2010
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N.T.H,

Wow...you are sooooo much stronger than I was, I called and called and struggled with no contact for so long, and all that did was cause me no amount of emotional damage. What you are doing is great...but it will require even more strength now...because, he's going to be shocked by your lack of contact, and he is going to pull out all the stops to get you back...remember, with guys like this, their biggest emotional problem is chronically low-self esteem, it so bad they hate themselves..it so bad they need to create a fake personality (which is why it looks like they have very high self-esteem)...they thrive on attention from us (narcissistic supply) even if its negative attention (calls when they don't want to be called, etc) if you take that supply away, he is going to do his level best to get it back...so just be careful here NTH. Be careful and be strong.

I'm not saying he has NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) in fact, I'm not even sure NPD (or the version of it which is described around the internet) actually exists, I prefer to call it "Loser Syndrome" thats my own phrase!!

Rev.

P.S. Great Poem! I believe that poetry art and music are wonderful ways to vent your emotions, keep doing that!

October 23, 2006
6:29 pm
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needtoheal
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Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
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thanks rev!!!!

I just got back from my therapy appointment.. Last week she made the prediction that he will try to lure me back... and I do understand that "dance".. the push-pull concept...

Here is where I will have to be stoic because he just has no concept of the fact that I want absolutely NOTHING to do with him (even though I did tell him that!! and for him to expect it )

But that is not MY PROBLEM... He will have to learn to cope with himself... although I highly doubt that will happen because he had been "escaping" for so long being high on weed...

thanks for reading and all the encouragement..

This man does NOT DESERVE to be in my life...
He does not deserve or have the right to know how I feel..(he was never able to validate my feelings-- Why then would I even think that he would now?!)

take care

thanks for everything...

I WILL HEAL

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