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Resistance Creates Suffering
March 13, 2006
4:20 pm
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LotusTampa
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September 30, 2010
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For some reason today I've been feeling tremendous peace. I think I have been letting life flow today rather than trying to mentally force something to happen (like trying to move past my x).

I don't resist in any other area of my life...I let it flow. I don't worry and obsess about my bills, my housework, my job...even my children.

Of course, there are times when I get a little wiggy because I just have so much to do, but I don't thrash about mentally trying to fix it all...I let it "do its thing" and I am OK with that.

I really feel I'm beginning to let go of my relationship with my x. My moments of pain, grief, ruminating...the "stuckness" seems to be fading.

I am not the controller of the universe, of other people, of animals...of nothing...except myself and even sometimes I don't have control over that (that's where I let the universe take over).

One of my favorite books by Charlotte Joko Beck, titled "Everyday Zen" speaks of resistance and depression. She says, "depression is a result of not getting what we want." Oh, how I can relate to this.

I'm certainly not discounting clinically depressed people...because I know that is very real as I am in treatment for this. However, I do know that my own depression has been exacerbated (for much of my life) as a result of NOT getting what I want.

One of my closest friends (of over 20 years) will sometimes call me "Veruca Salt". She's from Willie Wonka--the girls that says, "I want it and I want it NOW!". Oh, sometimes that is so LotusTampa!

I feel good today...

March 16, 2006
2:24 am
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Anam Cara
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LotusTampa
You make for much sence - if you feel good then I bet you also look good today. I want - what I want! Yes me too but hey it would be nice if things go my way at times! To be truthful they do but I tend to rub those occasions out when something beyound my reach jumps up in front of me (smile).
Positive thoughts to you also for tomorrow.
AC.

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