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REPORT: child killed by boyfriend
June 21, 2006
4:25 pm
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nappy
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Hello Everyone,
Where I live in this state and probably everywhere else in this world, We have alot of boyfriends killing up there girlfriend kids. It is getting to where we wish that they would lock up the mothers also because as much as the subject comes on the news, when are these young single mothers going to learn that some guys are just after them and not wanting any kids around. I understand that these mothers are putting trust in there boyfriends but these are not there fathers.
I feel for these kids who never had a chance or to even express to there mothers what is really going on when she leave them at home with the boyfriends. It's like looking at the animal channel (lions). The lions goes looking for a mate. she has a litter and then he kill them, just to get at her again. I wish that these mothers can see this. I know that as being a single mother, we want someone in our life but as I was being a mother to my three boys, I didn't let a man come and live with me, trying to be these father because I didn't want them to be hurt by getting attach to him and then he leave. It is just sad to hear sometimes and as a mother I get very mad. While the man is in jail, then the mother is feeling god knows what because now her child is died and everyone is looking at her because she was suppose to protect her child. CPS is not doing a very good job because with this last case here. CPS was called before because one of the children leg was broken and after that they gave the child back to the mother witht he same boyfriend. I just wish that we had answer to why some womens feel that they are not complete unless they have a man and they would except any man just to have him in the house.

June 21, 2006
4:33 pm
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codep
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It equally angers me as well. I was abused by moms boyfriends and she just turned the other cheek. I think that mothers have issues and they dont think about the consequences to their children until it's too late. Another sad issue here is that the mother of that child is probably supportive of the b/f even while he is in jail and probably claiming that she will "wait" for him and give him visits. It's so sad that mothers loose their heads over men just to have a man in their life and it doesn't seem to matter what kind of man...
So sad
((KIDS))

June 21, 2006
4:35 pm
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CAMER
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so true, and I hear alot of stories of bf's or hubby's killing the g'friends too, too much hatred and crime in this world today....not the way the world used to be.

I read on one of the posts earlier about a book called something like....."not needing a man to feel complete"........i'd love to read a book like that and find out why at times we feel we need a man, any man just to feel alive.

June 21, 2006
4:39 pm
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1lost1
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Society has taught women to think we need a man. We are programmed to feel incomplete without them.

Kind of like I am feeling now. I am financially stable and even educated. I have survived on my own but, there is a hole in me that "wants" a man to be around.

How do you reprogram yourself?

June 21, 2006
4:42 pm
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CAMER
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maybe love ourselves more....hug ourselves more...yep, so easy to say, but the doing part takes work.

I guess maybe feeling complete and loving life and everything about yourself and life, you will know that you don't need to have a man to feel complete.

June 21, 2006
4:45 pm
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1lost1
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Definately easy to say...The repetitive failures make it hard to move forward.

Where do we begin?

June 21, 2006
4:51 pm
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StronginHim77
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codep...

I had no idea you had suffered abuse from your mother's boyfriend(s). Just breaks my heart. I feel for you so much. Kinda gets my adrenaline pumping when hear about women who put a MAN over their own children. My ex-fiance was jealous of my closeness to my (21 & 17) two sons, but I NEVER let him interfere in my time with them, speak to them rudely or pull me away from them in any way. (Mind you, this is probably the ONLY area in which I stood up to him), but that has always been a Big Issue for me. My own mother always put her BF's ahead of me and my sister. End of story. But abuse is even worse.

I am glad to see this thread. And I ache for every child who is suffering under such conditions, as you did, codep...

- Strong

June 21, 2006
5:05 pm
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nappy
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I was a single mother and at a young age I wanted that husband or boyfriend and even a father for my boys but then I thought about it, my boys would like him and then when we would get into it and he leave then I am the one that have to explain why he left them. Well I didn't want to go through that with them, so I raise them by myself. I never felt lonely because when I wanted to be around adults, Say I wanted to have a good time, (club) and when I wanted to have a really nice conversation (church). When my youngest child was up in age, I finally found that special someone. Well my son kept telling me that he feel that my boyfriend didn't want him there. I didn't see it at the time but I knew that what goes on in the dark will shed out into the light.
Well me and my ex is no longer because my kids are still here and he isn't. He did just wanted me and I didn't just wanted him. After I found out he didn't want my son or my kids, I ask him what kind of family do you think you are going to have with me?

God knew each and everyone of us before we were even born. I feel that we all are someone special. We have to find that special part about us and not let anyone rob us of that special thing. womens need to learn and to really take care of there kids and household. They are just letting these mens into there lives that are not doing anything for them. Being good in bed is not enough, because sex is not paying the bills and putting food on the table. These womens are allowing these mens to stay home while they are out there working and these mens are staying home taking care of the kids. I know as single mother that it was hard paying these bills on my salary but for some reason god made a way. I look back on life and wonder, without god help how would I would have made it. These mens don't want kids around because it is taking away from him, he wants to be the baby and always sucking on the tit and haven't realize that he is a grown man. I just don't understand but these womens better wise up before it is to late.

June 21, 2006
6:18 pm
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Matteo
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"Society has taught women to think we need a man." So true. Not only that but women's position in society, especialy single women, and especially single mothers' is inferior. And now women are blamed when that teaching doesn't work to their or their children's advantage. No matter how you look at it - it is always women's fault. Amazing.

June 21, 2006
7:00 pm
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bonni
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It makes me angry to see these stories about both moms and mom's boyfriend and what they did to the kids in the news. My parent's were always very careful about who they allowed around us, much less take care of us. As am I. I don't even let them be alone with their father's mother because she insists she should be allowed to assault them (which will happen over my dead body).

I understand too how incredibly lonely and difficult it is to be a single mom. While my dh was overseas, I was very lucky to have a dear male friend who has been close to me & my husband and the girls since well before they were born. It was only after alot of thought and consideration before I allowed him to help me out a couple of times (he picked them up from school once and helped me take them on my family's vacation - any man who will join my parents and sisters and their families for several days just to help me out is a saint). Because of his help, I didn't have to skip our annual family vacation and I was able to attend an important business function. I needed him, not so much because he was a man, but because he's one of a very small group of people that i would allow to be alone with my children.

Now, I did have other male friends who I saw (not for romance, but as adult company) while dh was gone and would never have allowed them around my kids, though I've also known them many years. Their "uncle" has been around them for a long time and I think the male presence was good for them. In fact, I've decided to change my will to name him as their guardian, should something happen to their dad and me. He is a good man, and i know he would do whatever it took to take care of my kids, even though they aren't his.

I think that it takes two people to raise children and the women who do it alone are like superheroes. I couldn't do it. It was a miserable existence that I probably wouldn't have survived if it hadn't been for my friend and my parents.

bonni

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