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relocating - no money, shelter
September 21, 2008
11:25 am
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estonsocks44
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i left him for the hundredth time Thursday night. i am 37, 2 babies under 2, two degrees, professional but unemployed, no money, living at my dad's. i can't stay here. it is too much of a burden on dad, i end up going back. i want to move to CO (denver, boulder, anywhere) and start over from scratch. i am not in immediate danger (too many bars to stop at to get here, he never makes it). if i can get money for travel, is there any place that would take me and the babies for shelter/child care while i secure employment and find housing? who do i contact? is there any hope of escape and starting over somewhere else? the longer i stay here, the more likely it is i will give in. i got to get a move on if there is hope from escaping this tragedy. thank you.

September 21, 2008
12:11 pm
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CAMER
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just bumping this up for you...((camer)))

September 21, 2008
4:59 pm
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sad about it
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http://members.aol.com/volntee.....ver/tz.htm

Not sure what you are looking for, but this website has a lot of programs in the Colorado area.

September 21, 2008
5:06 pm
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grannygirl
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I am in a similar situation. God Bless you and good luck.

I think that if you are really serious this time that you might want to call a women's abuse hotline. And if you don't have one in your town you can call Child Protective Services since there are kids involved. They will help you.

September 21, 2008
5:21 pm
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AQueen
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DO NOT call CPS, they will not help you but they might take away your kids. Leave them out of it. They aren't in the business of helping people, they don't offer resources. You need to call a local domestic violence agency and they will help you with all that you need. You must say you fear for your safety and state you feel you are in immediate danger or else they can't help you. Their services are intended for those who truly need it. They can help you get into a shelter, many dv shelters aren't shelters at all but little apartments you live in with your children for 3-6 months to get on your feet. They can help you apply to state aid so you can get food aid, medical, some cash.

They can also hook you up with free or low cost legal aid if you wish so you can get some child support which your children are DEFINITELY deserving of. I kicked my son's father out when he was 4 1/2 months old because he wouldn't stop using and he was verbally abusive and very manipulative. He would make promises all the time but never keep them. He wouldn't seek real help. Two days after kicking him out he kidnapped my son while high on drugs. I had him arrested on assault and I got a protective order and moved and entered into the address confidentiality program my state offers to domestic violence victims.

I contacted a domestic violence agency and got counseling and attended support groups. I didn't need housing but there were women in the group receiving housing and it was great. They got their own little apartments to live in for a number of months. Seek help and be done with abusive men, for this to happen you have to seek some counseling so you learn to recognize your part in the relationship and why you got together with such a man in the first place. THey are all charmers at first but their true selves come out once they have you.

Counseling will also help you learn to recognize red flags so you can avoid falling into the same situation again. Most women who don't seek counseling end up dating abusive men over and over again. Remember they always seem nice and like Mr Right in the beginning. That's what they do, they find out what you are looking for and pretend to be it. Then they show their true colors once they have you and then they continue to berate you and tear you down so you feel helpless and won't leave because you feel you don't deserve better. It's a vicious cycle. So put forth the effort by getting the counseling and attending support groups and you will really be doing yourself a favor. Good luck.

September 24, 2008
1:06 pm
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estonsocks44
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thank you for responses. i reserved train tix for denver, but i can't leave until the 4th. that is killing me. 10 more days to be a sitting duck. i am making a list of all the shelters there, dv and regular homeless and pray to God that someone will take us in. I am leaving no matter what and the idea of them holding space for me until then is probably unlikely. i would think that they would take us the morning they arrive and just let us stay there during the daytime (if they don't have room) so i can have some place safe to be while i call around to other shelters. any comments? i know it's risky going without something guaranteed lined up, but i think it's more risky here.

September 24, 2008
1:32 pm
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soofoo
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Why are you going to CO? Do you know someone there?

September 24, 2008
4:41 pm
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sad about it
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Do you have a plan if he does make it to where you are currently?

I am fearful for you and your babies safety.

September 24, 2008
4:48 pm
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caraway
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Call 211

This number will connect you with the United Way and they have several options. One of those is a place for Mothers and Children to go in this situation.

Cary

September 24, 2008
5:56 pm
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MsGuided
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yes..do NOT call CPS!
here is a website that list ALL of the womens shelters across the nation.

Find one near you and go there.
They will help you get your feet on the ground, and offer emotional support. Plus they won't take your kids away because your homeless. They will help you find employment and a place to live.GOOD LUCK!

http://www.letswrap.com/usadv/

September 25, 2008
10:20 am
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estonsocks44
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oh i am confused, if i go seeking shelter (and dv counseling,which i desperately need since i can honestly say other than my children and dad, i have no friend in the world, anymore as a result of this relationship and i can't burden him with details and tears) someone may attempt to take away my kids while i am trying to seek help and temporary shelter? does that mean i should avoid speaking to police at all costs upon arrival and just stick with shelters?

September 25, 2008
10:48 am
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fantas
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once you find a shelter for woman and children, they will help you from there... First get there and then deal with the rest. One step at a time:). Are you running for yours and your children's safety?

September 25, 2008
3:05 pm
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soofoo
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No one is going to take your kids because you have been a victim of a crime. The criminal is punished, not the victim. Please do not avoid seeking help because of this fear. Please do get a restraining order from the police and go to a shelter. The police are not going to take your kids from you!

September 25, 2008
4:45 pm
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sad about it
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I bet your dad would want to hear from you--don't let pride or embarrassement keep you from him if that is the only reason.

It would break my heart if my child and grandchildren needed me and didn't let me help.

Just something to think about if that is an option for you in the interim.

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