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Relationship
June 5, 2000
2:38 pm
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Keiya
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My current boyfriend and I have been together for over 5 1/2 years. We are not kids, he's 43 (never married) I'm 42 (divorced once). We are having a lot of problems lately, mostly with communication. I don't talk a lot, I come from a family that keeps everything in except anger. He talks a lot, often on the verge of yelling because I either don't understand him or he doesn't think I understand him. Unless he gets the answer he wants - he feels I am not being honest with myself. I love him and he loves me - but things have got to get better. In the last 1 1/2 years he has moved out 3 times, this last time I told him he would not come back with out going to counseling with me, but so far he won't agree. I love him too much to give up, but can't continue to have him rip my heart out. HELP!!!!!!!!!! I am in the works with getting counseling for myself but what else is there for the relationship???? Anyone???

June 5, 2000
3:45 pm
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Keiya
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More on the topic: I often feel as though I am in a catch 22 situation. He tells me that I don't need to dress up for him, when I don't he tells me I never look "good" for him when he gets in from work,or if I do dress up he swears it is for someone else, or that I don't need to "slave" for him but when I stop I get the "I feel neglected" lecture. He has some issues to deal with also, lack of committement, lack of trust, low self-esteem, but then we all have our issues.

June 5, 2000
5:01 pm
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vantas2
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Dear Keiya I have a similiar problems I have very poor communications skills and have had this problem for years I am currently going to a counselor with my boyfriend which is really helping (he said he would not go to counseling he finally came around) I also come from a family who hides problems my mother is very controlling I have just recently come to the realization that I can't let my mother run my life. hang in there it will get better I promise just believe in yourself...

June 5, 2000
6:29 pm
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Keiya
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Thank you vantas2 - at least I see there is hope. I am hoping that once I get into counseling that my boyfriend will also come around.

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