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Reflections & Realizations
November 8, 2005
5:21 am
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Rasputin
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Lately, I've come to the conclusion that I am not the same person I used to be! Ever since I started this healing process, I've noticed that I started to love myself more, think about me, pamper me, treat me, care about me and my inner child or voice. Perhaps now many people perceive me as selfish or even egocentric. But these are folks who are so drenched in their codependent world.

Before I used to put or even push my needs and wants aside and put others instead in focus, causing me to have more headaches, turbulance and even depression.

By having introspection, I am starting to love, cherish, admire and respect myself like I have never done before.

I do not care about how people perceive me generally. I do care, however, how or whether people respect me or not. That is the important issue to me!

Most importantly I Do care how My Higher Power perceives me. He is behind every progress and success I've had in my recovery journey. He is my professor, encourager, inspirer, and my best friend.

~Blessings to All~Ras

November 8, 2005
5:37 am
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nvr2late
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That is a wonderful realization to have...isn't it????
You can trust yourself, that means more than what anyone thinks of you!
Thank you!

November 8, 2005
8:12 am
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sharonp
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im glad to hear you are healing,im not there yet,but one day i hope to be.

also when you respect yourself,people begin to respect you.
and if they dont,they are not worthy of your time:)

November 8, 2005
5:38 pm
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Rasputin
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Thank you sooooo much Nvr2late and Sharonp for your warm, wise and sweet words of wisdom and encouragement.

Rest assured some day you will be writing your own success story and recovery here!

~XOXOX~Ras~

November 9, 2005
6:04 am
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nvr2late
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Yes, I agree that I will! Things are getting better with ME, now that I detached from him!
as of right now, these posts get me through the day!
Thanks again!

November 9, 2005
7:28 am
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classof77
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It is a great feeling isn't it? Sometimes when you think back it is almost like who was that? You have earned everything you have now.

November 9, 2005
6:31 pm
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Rasputin
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Nvr2late,

It is never too late to start this journey. Hence your name says it!LOL

Good for you that you detached from your friend. It must have been very difficult. If you struggle with it, I recommend you to buy Melody Beattie's book "Codependent no more." Coming to this site can also help you honey, whenever you feel the urge or nostalgia kicking in, come on this board and read or post something here.

Class,

I agree with you. Though I am independent person, yet I was struggling with bit of being too sweet and naive. I got stuck there. Encountering jerks from both sexes in my life helped me a lot to advance and improve in my character and healing journey. It is not the kind and sweet people who teach us lessons, rather it is the difficult, complicated ones that enrich our life and help us improve, study, learn and get all the help we need.

I still struggle with shyness, though. I wish I could get rid of it, put it in shredder and just have it disappear.

Developping my spiritual life was key factor in this journey. I know and am sure without HIM in my life I wouldn't have done or reached what I have reached and achieved today.

~Blessings, Ras~

November 9, 2005
6:59 pm
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on my way
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Ras,
Are these some of the trials you were speaking of this past month? Are all good things coming from them now? 🙂

November 9, 2005
7:43 pm
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Rasputin
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Yes honey! These were some of the trials I was talking about. You are right, Omw, God was testing me! Thanks honey so much for your prayers. I am pretty sure it was due to your prayers and all my faithful friends that brought vicotry to this trials!

(((Hugs)))

November 9, 2005
8:07 pm
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taj64
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Way to go Ras. My first thread I wrote, you were the first person that wrote a response. I thank you and will always remember that. I am tickled pink for you today.

November 9, 2005
8:13 pm
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Rasputin
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Thank you TAJ for your encouraging words. They went deep down my heart! I assure you Taj, sometime (maybe soon) you will be writing your own success story on these boards and we will both celebrate.

I will purchase a bottle of Red Wine and we will have a toast for both of us to celebrate our Victory here on this forum.

(((Hugs)))

November 10, 2005
1:06 am
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taco
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rasputin,do not ever feel that you are selfish in any way because you have healed from co-dependency.i can see why it is important that others respect you,but you know what? your higher power is the only one we have to impress,his perception of us is all that matters.i'm proud of you for loving yourself as this is true;we connot truely love others unless we love ourselves.good for you!!!!!!!!

November 10, 2005
6:11 pm
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Rasputin
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((((TACO)))))

Thank you so much for your wisdom and insight!!! You are so right on!!!
Our higher power is the most important. Anybody else does not matter.

Your words were very warm and sweet. I felt as if I received a Warm Hug from you.

God bless you, honey!XOXOXO~Ras~

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