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Rebuilding myself need your help!!!1
March 29, 2007
11:44 pm
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newtrail
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Hello guys, I have always been running from woman to woman, insecure, abusive at times, and abused other times. I know I have issues, I grew up in a super authoritive home and lacked any kind of support or love. I would like your opinions on what to do, books you may recomend...My problems are codependency, not having good relationships, hyper-sexual, woman hungry, poor self esteem, most of all knowing who I am and what I want. So please any help to rebuild myself is soo appreciated!

March 30, 2007
7:22 am
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Rasputin
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September 30, 2010
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Hey Newtrail~

Welcome to this site!

I'm sorry about all the miseries you've been thru. You will realize that you're not alone. We all here have the same background and troubles you've gone thru. Kudos for you to realize that you need to change. Many people are even in denial about their whole life.

There are lots of books and resources you can benefit from and I will try to do my best to list some of them.

I would highly recommend you to purchase these books:

- The purpose driven life, by Rick Warren

- Codependent no more, by Melody Beattie

- Healing is a choice, by Steven Arterburn

- Every Man's battle...can't remember the author.

Also, I would highly recommend you to connect with others via Coda meetings, SA meetings, 12 steps or any good support group.

Coming to this website is very vital to your healing journey.

Happy journey & blessings!

March 30, 2007
7:37 am
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Hi Newtrail,

Welcome. This is a good place. I can't tell your gender from your post, but on the chance that you might be male, a book I'd recommend is "I Don't Want to Talk About It" by Terrence Real. He has worked with couples for a couple of decades and has a very deep understanding of many of the issues that affect men in particular.

You also say that you are hyper-sexual and I think you might find Patrick Carnes' writings on sex addiction to be very enlightening and helpful.

You're starting off on an important quest, and you have some self-awareness, which is *the* starting point. I wish you well with your searchings.

kroika

March 30, 2007
8:42 pm
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newtrail
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Thanks guys or girls, hehehe... I'm freshly getting out of a relationship and I don't want to fall into the same pattern. I beleive in myself and I know I can do it. Thanks for the words, the're very uplifting. The book you recomended Kroika would help me. Thanks, if you guys have any other suggestions please send then. Thanks all!

March 30, 2007
9:24 pm
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truthBtold
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newtrail,

Based upon your posts, the thing that I would recommend is just for you to start to take a real, honest "emotional inventory" of all of your past relationships....and quietly and gently...just ask yourself...."What was really going on there?"

In an environment of "non-intellectuality" - the answers you seek will feel safe enough to just gently float to the top of your conscienceness and answer alot of your own qustions.........answers that have been there all along - but which wasn't simply allowed a voice...until now.

Then you will have "figured it out" without really trying...........and you will come to understand why you acted or did not act in certain ways in the past, you know?

Just be quiet and honest with yourself, and you will figure it all out. Then, you are better equipped for situations which present themselves in the future without perhaps all the confusion as before.

Hope this makes sense.

April 3, 2007
7:33 pm
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newtrail
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I'll try that TruthBtold, its just hard when my mind is a wirldwind.

April 3, 2007
7:43 pm
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newtrail
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Guys, what I really struggle with is knowing what I want. Needing to be with a woman, and just being scared of life. Not doing anything for fear of failure, rejection, and just being alone. As you can all guess my father was never around, my mother was far from nurturing, and I just seem to lack the capability of knowing what is good and bad, when I'm in a good relationship or bad one, and I just feel soo bad about my life. I just don't know.. Still, I love this site and I hope to hear more advice from anyone. Thanks all!!!

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