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Rebound Relationships -- for guys
February 23, 2005
8:20 am
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CODA_Mom
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I need some honest input from some of you guys out there. Can you please tell me how some men can make so many promises to women (marriage, lifetime commitment, promise to honor, etc., etc.), but if there is a breakup in the relationship they more times than not find another woman right away and make the same promises? I'm talking about rebound relationships, where the "new" woman is rushed for a commitment right away, even before closure was made on the old relationship.

I know that I'm generalizing here, and not all men behave this way but it sure seems to be the majority, correct me if I'm wrong.

Thanks for any input,

CM

February 23, 2005
8:52 am
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willitgetbetter
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Hi CM,
I will be honest and run the risk of being criticised by all the ladies on here but i admit, i am using someone as a rebound. My story is slightly different, my ex dumped me and has been playing games ever since. i met someone who is a lovely lady a few weeks back.

I am not over my ex, I know that, if I was i would ignore her games and the hurt it causes. Any contact from her is important to me.

Anyway, i digress....... Rebound relationships are a way of getting revenge. "You dumped me but I am not worthless, see I have found someone else already!".

Call it male pride, call it egotism, but yes we do it.

I gave my life for my ex and I was serious. I wanted her and wanted to be with her for life, and i was very serious. However, she decided, that wasn't good enough and dumped me.

Do I love the lady I am now with, quite simply I don't know. I enjoy her company, but i also enjoy knowing that my ex is alone, (her fault), but I am not.

How honest is that! i'm not proud of what i am doing and hate myself for it.

February 23, 2005
9:19 am
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CAMER
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i myself, (a gal) have done the rebound thing in the past...and what it does is just "cover up" the problems from the last relationship....I basically brought my unfinished business into the next relationship...but look at what happend in the long run, i ended up breaking up with the rebound person too.....I think until I was well grounded, and learned to deal with my feelings from one relationship, felt the pain, and knew that I was going to be ok...thats when I could move on to another relationship. So basically, your bf/hubby, is just temp. numbing his feelings with the new person, and it just goes into a vicious cyle from there...(well it did for me).

February 23, 2005
11:11 am
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CODA_Mom
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Wow, willit, thanks for that total honesty. I really don't think there is a woman here who will criticize you for your truthfulness. Besides, you may have said something that many of them already know but have had a hard time getting the guys to admit 🙂
Thanks for the insight, I was thinking it was because guys have a harder time dealing with all the emotion after a breakup so this is a quick way to avoid it, by finding someone else.

Is your ex still alone? If she is, have you tried telling her what you just wrote, that you still care for her and acted the way you did out of whatever?

CAMER, your words of wisdom, I'm sure, are borne out of painful experiences. You have been such an encouragment to others because of what you've been thru yourself. Thanks for your input.

CM

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