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really need some encouragement....curious64
July 7, 2010
10:37 am
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StronginHim77
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The more involved I get in others' needs and struggles, the less lonely I am.

- Ma Strong

July 7, 2010
10:57 am
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StronginHim77
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Just wanted to "bump" this thread ahead of the site invasion.

- Ma

July 7, 2010
11:33 am
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curious64
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Bumping again due to site invasion

July 5, 2010
12:00 am
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curious64
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Ma -
Spent a nice weekend celebrating with my mom, dad, kids, brother
and his family. Wish my sister could have come with her family, but
it is what it is. Thanks for asking.

Atalose - no need
to apologize, I was in no way offended by your comments. Your words
about us codies was right on the money for me. Learning new
behavior is not easy, but I am working on it moment by
moment.

Hillbillygirl -
Thanks for commenting. I appreciate the understanding you have for
my situation. My head and heart have battled this issue for years
and I think my head is finally winning.

Thanks to you all
for helping me. I need all of the support I can get while traveling
this recovery road. It is a new path and at times scary, but I'm
trying to get the hang of it.

Work is coming
early so I better catch some z's. ((((HUGS))))

July 6, 2010
12:00 am
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curious64
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Hope
you are all doing well this fine Tuesday. Really hot where I am and
it is making me cranky.

Overall, though I
am doing better. Not feeling so sad and learning more everyday
about how to live this new life I am creating.

Just wanted to
take a moment to thank you all again and tell you how much I
appreciate all of you.

Hope you have a
wonderful rest of the week.

July 7, 2010
12:00 am
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chinadoll
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Hi
curious,

I am glad to hear
that you are doing better and that you had a good holiday, despite
not having your sister to be a part of it.

I understand what
you meant earlier when you talked about feeling like a fifth wheel.
During the holiday, I got together at a pool party with my sister
and her family and my brother and his family, along with some
friends of my brother's and their families.

I don't have
children of my own, and my boyfriend lives on the East Coast &
I am currently living on the West Coast while I finish school. My
boyfriend has a 13 yr old son, but I only see him when I go back
east to visit with them.

So, everyone at
this pool party--except for me-- was with their wife/husband and
they all have children ranging from 16 yrs to 3 months. Talk about
feeling out of place. I made the best of it, but I was pretty bored
after a while. I did not know these other friends of my brother's.
I talked with them some, but we did not have things in common to
talk about. Everyone seemed to be talking about their kids and I
felt left out.

It's too bad there
aren't many places you can go to meet people. I actually like to
spend time in the library, I love reading books. I have some
friends that I visit with, but everyone is so busy.

And I do know what
you mean about talking to yourself when you're alone in the house.
I tell myself, at least I don't have someone to argue with me!!
🙂

July 7, 2010
12:00 am
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curious64
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Chinadoll - thanks for taking a moment to comment. I can
totally sympathize with the 5th wheel thing. Really can be a
downer.

I was watching tv
last evening and on the show Reba one of her kids was talking to
her about getting back into the dating pool and then rephrased and
said, "at you age mom, the pool is actually a puddle, you have a
dating puddle". That is kind of what it feels like at 46 when I
think about dating.

It is really
remarkable that you are able maintain your long distance
relationship. I'm sure you will be quite happy when you are finally
able to be together.

Well, I am at work
and better get back to it. have a wonderful day.

July 7, 2010
12:00 am
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It No Longer Matters
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Been
there girls. Last night I almost got an eharmony account then back
out. I was alone and lonely. It comes and goes like the eb and flow
of the ocean.

Bitsy

July 7, 2010
12:00 am
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curious64
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Bitsy
- Isn't it funny how that works. Some days you can be just going
along great and then others, WHAM! right in the face the loneliness
stares you down.

I have learned
that some things really set off the loneliness, watching romantic
movies (which I love), love songs on the radio, hanging out with
happy couples. Those type of things just seem to magnify it for me.
I turn the channel, change the staion and don't hang out much with
happy couples so that I can try to limit the emotional downturn. I
know I probably need to learn to start dealing with it rather than
avoiding it, but for now that is what works for me.

I hear people on
here say they are alone and happy with it, that they love
themselves etc. I think I can be in love with myself and still get
lonely from time-to-time. I work in an office and spend most of the
work day alone, then when I come home again I am alone. Sometimes I
just need some human interaction. Maybe in time I will find the
loneliness happening less and less.

In the meantime
ladies we can come here and share our feelings with others who
understand and not feel so alone in this world. I am thankful for
all of you.

July 7, 2010
12:00 am
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StronginHim77
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The
more involved I get in others' needs and struggles, the less lonely
I am.

- Ma
Strong

July 7, 2010
12:00 am
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StronginHim77
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Just
wanted to "bump" this thread ahead of the site invasion.

- Ma

July 7, 2010
12:00 am
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curious64
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Bumping again due to site invasion

July 8, 2010
12:00 am
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curious64
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Good
morning everyone - I sure could use a little pick-me-up today. The
arthritis in my right knee is hurting so badly I can barely stand,
the plantar fascitis in my left heel is hurting like I'm walking on
a nail. I have been eating nothing but fresh fruits, veggies, lean
meat (mostly grilled chicken), not adding sodium, eating no white
bread, white pasta, absolutely no sweets and I stepped on the scale
this morning and am up 4lbs. HOW CAN THAT HAPPEN??????

I have not cheated
one time because I finally realize that cheating would be cheating
on myself and why would I do that to myself. This is the most
disciplined I have been since Phen-fin and it is not
working.

I know that
menopause, low thyroid, and age are working against me, but dang
it.

I'm trying so hard
to work on me and becoming a healthy person physically, as well as
mentally and this just kicked me back. I feel depressed and
overwhelmed.

I see my doctor
today so I will talk with her, but just feeling really down right
now. On the plus side I did not go buy a candy bar out of the
vending machine to medicate my feelings :0)

July 8, 2010
12:00 am
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StronginHim77
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Dang,
Curious...

That would be a
frustrating experience. (I've had it happen to me.) UP 4 lbs,
instead of DOWN.

The only thing I
can think of is diet soda. Do you drink any? Any possibility you
are premenstrual and retaining fluid? Did you eat ANY
processed/frozen food which might contain sodium?

Other than that,
the only culprit I can see would be your thyroid. Also, portion
control and eating too late in the day. I can't eat after 6:30 or
7:00 PM. If I do, I gain. Hate it, but there it is.

Hopefully, your
doctor can eliminate any concerns about your thyroid. Ask him about
your thyroid medication. Could that be contributing to the
problem?

Just trying to
explore any and all possibilities...

- Ma

July 8, 2010
12:00 am
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haythere
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Hate
when that happens. Don't give up, your body is still adjusting to
being fed well. When I am/was pre-menstrual I'd retain at least a
couple of pounds of water and get constipated to boot. A 3 pound
weight gain was not unusual (and I'm don't carry any extra weight).
And anything you can do to boost your physical activity will help
burn more calories. Have you been able to try swimming? Thats the
best activity, especially easy on the joints.

My mom's caregiver
(see is 48) used to have alot of joint pain, she swears by Aloe
Vera juice. Says since she has been drinking it daily and no longer
has any joint pain. I know it won't cure arthritis, but might help.
My son has knee problems, so I bought some for him last weekend.
Too soon to tell if it will make any difference, but maybe google
it and see what it says. That plantar fascitis is nasty, but I know
if treated properly can go away.

Your doing good,
keep it up, I swear it will pay off. ((((hugs))))

July 8, 2010
12:00 am
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curious64
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Ma -
I gave up the processed foods when I started this journey. I do
drink 1-2 cans of diet soda a day, that is down from 4-5. Working
on getting it down to zero. Not premenstral, haven't had a period
in over 2 years, but sometimes I do think I retain water like my
body is trying to do something. Doctor has not medicated my thyroid
yet because I was on the low end of normal. I am going to talk to
her about that today and see if that can be changed.

Haythere - I do
think I am retaining some fluid. Feet are a little swollen, but I'm
not sure why. Haven't had any processed foods or sodium rich stuff
so I am at a loss. I expect over time to hit plateau's just didn't
think it would be now.

My health coach
told me that age, gender, menopause, thyroid and genetics were
going to make this a really tough battle, so I see now she was
correct.

Sure is
depressing, but I'm not willing to give up on me so I am going to
keep fighting. Thanks for your comments, they really do help
me.

July 8, 2010
12:00 am
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atalose
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Try
giving up the diet soda. I stopped drinking diet soda in January
2008 and without changing anything else in my diet or exercise I
lost about 20 pounds. I like crystal light Raspberry Ice drink mix
to put in my bottles of water. They have a lot of different flavors
to try. I was a devote diet soda drinker, like you I would often
have at least 5 or 6 cans, bottles a day. I found it very difficult
to lose weight and began noticing that when I did give up the soda
I started to lose. I lost it slowly and it has stayed off. I do
weight myself just about every day as a gage; because it can creep
up on me out of know where. Usually when I see the scale moving up
a few pounds, I up my intake of water and in a day or two I am back
down to my normal weight.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

July 8, 2010
12:00 am
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StronginHim77
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Even
a couple cans of diet soda per day can cause you to retain fluids.
Also, most overweight people whom I know personally have fluid
retention problems, salt or no salt. I'm not sure why. Maybe your
doctor and/or health coach has some explanation?

The exercise is
really important. Swimming would be ideal for someone who has joint
difficulties cause you need low impact exercise. Even if all you
can do it "walk through the resistance of the water," do it. It's
movement.

I've had the aloe
juice. It is very good for alot of conditions. Not sure how it
works, but it's worth a shot, right? It's a healthy food, so it
can't hurt and it might help. I've read that people suffering from
arthritis and/or joint problems also benefit from glucosamine and
chrondroitin supplements (spelling?), as well as plenty of vitamin
C. And lots and lots of water. Fresh, pure water.

As far as portion
control...the serving of protein (meat/fish) should never exceed
the size of the palm portion of your hand. Generally, 4 ounces.
Cutting it up into thin slices and mixing it with your veggies
makes it seem like "more." Americans slam down way too much
protein.

Other "hidden"
fatty foods: nuts of any kind, even unsalted. Avocados have GOOD
fat (good for your heart), but contain alot of calories, so go easy
on them. Mayonnaise, ketchup and commercial peanut butter are
killers, too. And do all your cooking with either non-stick sprays
or extra virgin olive oil (brushed on the pan...not "poured.")
Salad dressings are out, as well. Stick to a squeeze of lemon and
some herbs. The "fat free" versions are LOADED with sodium, as are
most processed foods, even frozen veggies.

Hope this helps.
Above all, don't give up. Whenever we decrease our fat, sugar and
sodium intake and increase our activity level, we WILL lose weight.
Can't miss. It works.

Don't give
up.

- Ma

July 8, 2010
12:00 am
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StronginHim77
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Even
a couple cans of diet soda per day can cause you to retain fluids.
Also, most overweight people whom I know personally have fluid
retention problems, salt or no salt. I'm not sure why. Maybe your
doctor and/or health coach has some explanation?

The exercise is
really important. Swimming would be ideal for someone who has joint
difficulties cause you need low impact exercise. Even if all you
can do it "walk through the resistance of the water," do it. It's
movement.

I've had the aloe
juice. It is very good for alot of conditions. Not sure how it
works, but it's worth a shot, right? It's a healthy food, so it
can't hurt and it might help. I've read that people suffering from
arthritis and/or joint problems also benefit from glucosamine and
chrondroitin supplements (spelling?), as well as plenty of vitamin
C. And lots and lots of water. Fresh, pure water.

As far as portion
control...the serving of protein (meat/fish) should never exceed
the size of the palm portion of your hand. Generally, 4 ounces.
Cutting it up into thin slices and mixing it with your veggies
makes it seem like "more." Americans slam down way too much
protein.

Other "hidden"
fatty foods: nuts of any kind, even unsalted. Avocados have GOOD
fat (good for your heart), but contain alot of calories, so go easy
on them. Mayonnaise, ketchup and commercial peanut butter are
killers, too. And do all your cooking with either non-stick sprays
or extra virgin olive oil (brushed on the pan...not "poured.")
Salad dressings are out, as well. Stick to a squeeze of lemon and
some herbs. The "fat free" versions are LOADED with sodium, as are
most processed foods, even frozen veggies.

Hope this helps.
Above all, don't give up. Whenever we decrease our fat, sugar and
sodium intake and increase our activity level, we WILL lose weight.
Can't miss. It works.

Don't give
up.

- Ma

July 8, 2010
12:00 am
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It No Longer Matters
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Please let us know what the doctor said.

Bitsy

July 8, 2010
12:00 am
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curious64
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Well,
I went to the doctor and ended up breaking down and crying. She
decided maybe I needed to be back on the
anti-depressant.

I really love my
doctor, but I think I am going to have to look for a new one. She
doesn't seem to want to treat anything except a cold. She wants to
refer me to an pediatrist for my heel, endocrinologist for my
thyroid and didn't really have any answers for me.

She asked me if I
felt like I might harm myself and wrote me a script for wellbutrin.
UUGGGHHH!! I am so frustrated. Going to try to find a new doctor
who has experience working with obese people.

I know this is not
a weight loss forum, but I do appreciate all of the advice and
support. I am going to give up diet cokes and see how that works.
Please continue to hang in there with me. You guys are so helpful
and encouraging. (((HUGS)))

July 8, 2010
12:00 am
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atalose
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Curious,

Of course we'll
hang in there with you!!! Sometimes we need to change doctors even
if we love the ones we have. If you have that gut feeling that she
is not “hearing” your REAL concern – weight then it's time to find
someone who will.

Often genetics
play a major role, does anyone else in your family have weight
problems? What about other health factors like diabetes or high
blood pressure?

Years ago one of
the moms at my sons school qualified for gastric by-pass surgery
based not only on her weight but possible future related health
problems based on family history.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

July 9, 2010
12:00 am
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curious64
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atalose - You are right,I think the time has come that I need
to find a doctor that specializes in treating people like
me.

THere is a genetic
factor at work. My entire life people have told me I looked like my
Aunt Retha, even before I was heavy. She like me was thin until
high school and then gained 10 lbs or so a year until she
eventually topped out at 450. I have not gotten to that point, but
am scared I was well on my way.

She and I are kind
of medical freaks. We have excellent cholesterol, no diabetes, no
high blood pressure, but eventually, our joints begin to break down
from carrying this weight. I have actually had nurses prepare me
for a bad result on cholesterol test and then do a double take when
they saw my actual results. My doctor said mine is so good I
probably never need to check it again.

My health coach
agreed that there probably was some genetic weight issue and did
tell me my battle to get the weight off would be a tough
one.

My health plan
doesn't cover any kind of weight loss surgery. I did look into
that. A friend of mine had it and she is still really struggling.
She just found ways to still eat unhealthy, hasn't gotten her head
in the right place yet. Has only lost half of the weight she should
have by now.

I do appreciate
all of the support I get here. Living with chronic pain can cause
you to lose site of things and you guys help keep me focused on my
emotional and physical recovery. Thanks so very much.

July 10, 2010
12:00 am
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curious64
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Still
eating my veggies and fruit, still planning to stop diet soda on
MOnday. Kind of scared,but willing to give it a try.

Still having drama
with my sister. It is taking a toll on my mom . She has been short
of breath and having chest pain this week. Has had previous heart
problems.

My sister is the
wealthiest person in my family, has husband, 2 kids a boy and
agirl, dog, 250,000 dollar house, georgeous in-ground pool wiht
flat screen tv outside.

Sadly, emotionally
she is about 5 years old . She never forgave my brother for being
born and she behaves in hurtful and childish ways. Can't stand the
way she hurts my mom. Trying just to encourage mom to not focus on
her right now and just give her some time to stew, but dang I am
angry with my sister. My mom is 69 and has had many health
problems. My sister is bringing her so much sadness and
stress.

I am trying not to
interject myself into the middle of this storm, but hate to see my
mom hurting so much. Stinking place to be. Not sure what I should
do.

July 11, 2010
12:00 am
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haythere
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Hi
curious, Glad to see that you are sticking with the fruits and
veges, don't forget your protein too, it'll help curb the hunger
pains!. I've met several people who have given up the diet sodas,
sticking with water or plain tea....I'm not a fan of plain tea.
There are lots of other things to drink out there, the flavored
waters (no calories), I recently found lemonades, regular, pink,
cherry, peach, strawberry, very tasty and no calories! You will
find the best combination for you.

Family drama, its
no fun to be a part of or witness. I'm sorry that you are having to
deal with that when you are making all these positive changes in
your life. It sounds like you already have had plenty of go rounds
with your sister and what you say falls on deaf ears, so why waste
the effort? You are being as supportive of your mom as you can. She
knows she has you in her corner and as a parent, having your child
value and love you means alot. If you feel comfortable, enlist your
kids to give grandma a call or a visit to let her know they love
and value her as well (if they have that kind of relationship with
her).

This doesn't fix
the issue with your sister, but I imagine that unless your sister
really wants to change, its something thats going to pop up from
time to time. Good luck weathering the storm.

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