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Really hate my family
March 22, 2011
5:40 pm
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I am so sick of so called family that con't check on you to see if your still breathing, but when they need something you are the one they call.  I amso pissed at my so called niece.  My sister and I have not spoke for three plus years and I stopped speaking to my niece as well.  I was not allowed to be at the birth of her son, even when she spent the whole pregnancy around me, and bought her tons of stuff for the baby.  All of a sudden I'm no good.  Then when my niece has a falling out with her mom, my sister, she wants to call me and act like it's all good.  I forgave her, but not her mom for the hurtful things that were said....in short my sister said I should kill myself, but still claims to love me and my kids, but I'm not that stupid.  So when my niece wanted to be back in my life I knew it would be for just a short time, because eventually she would reconnect with her mom.  But I never thought she would completely block me out of her life again!  Now the only time she calls is when she wants a babysitter, and never bothers to come into the house to drop/pick him up.  I stopped allowing her to use me in that manner, now she is posting things about, how are you supposed to love family that calls you a user.  I'm pissed, I want to scream at her, I want to cry.  I am a christian and know I should forgive and forget, but how many times can I have family introduced into my life and then have them ripped away.  I have had about enough.  I don't know what to do.

March 22, 2011
7:13 pm
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zarathustra
miami, florida
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hello sincere, you can call me z if you like, i know i have a long freaken nickname

 

i understand you VERY well, people might not agree with me, but i am of the opinion that loving someone because they are family is not enough, in my experiance family is the first to screw you over and the last to apologize, and mainly because they expect you to forgive them because their family. and they are always the last to help you out when you are in need, and the first to make up excuses.

 

it sounds like you are venting more than anything, which is great, it helps to vent, i do it all the time. i dont want to tell you not to love your family, i would like to think in time they might apologize and change, i would like to think that, i dont though, people never think they are wrong, i guarantee your niece and sisiter think they have done nothing wrong. i hope that everything works out for the best for you, i personally only love people who have shown me love, even when i didnt deserve it. and none of those people i love are related to me by blood. sounds cold i know, but i always say look at the action that led to the re-action, if i dont love them, what does it say what they did to me?

 

but dont listen to me, i am one of the more cynical people here, i just want you to know that you deserve the love that you feel you are not getting, and thank you for sharing, venting always helps calm us down, thank you for venting 🙂 hope to hear more from you, and hopefully good stuff

March 23, 2011
4:32 am
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curious64
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Sincere - I can relate to what you are saying a certain level.   I love my sister dearly, but I only hear from here when she needs something, which is not often.  I would love to have a close relationship with her, but for some reason she just pretty much ignores the whole family.  

Oh, Welcome to AAC.   This is a good place to vent, share and find support.

My brother and his wife had twins 18 months ago and my sister has probably only seen them 10 times and we only live 30 miles apart.  The twins don't even recognize her when she comes in the house. 

Forgiving is one thing, but I don't think you have to forget.   You need to remember to protect yourself from further mistreatment.   I know you love your niece and want to help her, but don't allow her to abuse your kindness and love.  If you only help her when you feel it is right, then you won't feel as taken advantage of. 

I don't know the history between you and your sister, but I do know from my own experience that blood only makes you family, it doesn't always make you close and doesn't make you friends.  I hope you have some good friends in your life to share this pain with.

Keep on posting here, vent when you need to.   It is a safe place to share your feelings in my opinion.

(((HUGS)))

 

CuriousCool

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