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realizing I'm codependent and dealing with it
June 22, 2009
9:14 pm
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sadbuthopeful
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September 30, 2010
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Ive been with my husband for 15yrs. I always thought I was just a really laid back wife. As empty as I am inside. As many times that I fantasized about hurting myself. Sobbing alone. How did I have no idea that I was not laid back, but avoiding. Numbing myself with whatever. Whether it is spending money I don't have or food in front of the TV. Thank goodness for my pets. I just kept telling myself that no one would take them all in. I have 4. I swear I kept adding more to protect myself. I have a son too. Whom I adore, but you can convince yourself people would be better off without you. Now I KNOW that is not true. When you are so sad you don't always think rationally. My son is a teen. Enough said. My husband has gone from hardly being home to almost never. Hanging with his friends. Oh, not working. He might bring me $100 here or there, but not much more. My friend introduced me to Codependency No More. What the hell?! How am I the poster child and had no idea what codependent meant? Its changing my life. Not so great right now. But I'm hopeful. It's gotta be better than it's been. I told my husband to stay someplace else. I can see he's playing the games we codependents play. It is interesting to watch. Very hard not to react. Very hard not to control. I hope I can make it through. I don't feel depressed anymore. Just sad. Funny how your sad over the end of something that wasn't good?

June 22, 2009
10:41 pm
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wireless28806
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HeloHopeful...

I am learning not to be codependent any more by just focusing on me, and not caring about if people will like me. I do my thing, and I let them do theirs.

June 22, 2009
11:02 pm
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freedom1
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September 27, 2010
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hey girl i feel your pain,i looked up co dependent issues on the web.REALITY started to kick in,im codependent.But im not going to allow that to hinder me for the rest of my life.I have overcome one of the biggest hurdles in my life, and that was drugs, i thiught i would never get clean,guess what? Im clean 3yrs I believe that i will one day beatr this codependecy thing, and i believe you will too my sister..

June 23, 2009
1:25 am
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fantas
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((((Hopefull))), Good for you for realizing where things were stuck. The good thing is once to learn and continue to grow, you will be codependent no more :). Keep writing and sharing. We are here for you.

June 23, 2009
5:44 pm
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Zebra
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Hello Hopeful,

Hey I thought I was the poster child for codenpencancy no more.:)

Good you recognize and now time for work and growth. It does feel wonderful to be at peace and to grow and learn.

Take care of you and you will be fine.

Freedom1: Way to kick the drug abuse and 3 years clean...awesome. Working a prgram...right?

Love, Z

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