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*ray of hope*
May 14, 2006
1:51 am
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Just to say a thank you to you all for your kind words...I will be back here tomorrow, because I have lots to say...I am doing okay. I think there must be some resilience in me, some strength stored up from the past two years. But still it's hard. Will post back to each of you tomorrow if that's okay. Hope everyone is doing well..

~c~X

May 14, 2006
8:37 am
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mamacinnamon
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Thank you AC. My memory isn't what it used to be.

May 15, 2006
2:25 am
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Feeling a little better today, but not for the right reasons. He emailed me. We are going to try and work things out.

So....I fear I am stepping back on to the roller-coaster, but don't know what else to do. It's hard to draw a line under the 'unfinished'. Hard to not let things run their course (or continue)...how do you have relationships that might not necessarily last "forever", without getting hurt? Complete abstinence? Or am I addicted to these highs and lows, and therefore excactly back where I was two years ago, but with a different person this time? But having learnt nothing.

I'm not sure.

I wanted to reply to you each individually, but my shoulder is still really stiff and painful, and I can't get comfortable to type.

I will try again later when the painkillers kick in.

Love to all,

~c~XXXXXXXXX

May 15, 2006
10:55 am
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gayle
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Charlie Girl!!
I think the way to have a relationship with someone even if you aren't sure where it is going is that you remember to love YOU first, and take care of You first. You can't give yourself completely to him, hold on to something for your self. It is ok to hold back a little and still be there for him. I don't know the circumstances around this most recent relationship but just know you are not alone. I love you dearly and want only the best for you! You deserve so much happiness! Take care! Gayle

May 15, 2006
10:58 am
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(((((((((((((gayle)))))))))))))

That means the world to me, thank you!!!!!

: )

~love and hugs, charlie~X

May 15, 2006
12:00 pm
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gayle
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YOu are most welcome! (((((CHARLIE))))) Hugs to you! Gayle

May 17, 2006
5:48 am
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mamac,

Yes, I did!! Cow parsley does represent perfectly the intricate ripple effect you once wrote to me about!

Hope you are doing good

: )

~c~X

May 17, 2006
5:52 am
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Thank you again to all who posted to me. I appreciate the time you took, and the positive thoughts.

My shoulder is a little better, but I have decided to have a lazy day in bed...dishes piled in the sink, clothes on the floor, kids toys strewn around the house...they can all wait. I am going to make some tea, and put a movie on, get a hot water bottle and just snuggle.

The relationship is over, but thanks to you guys, I have drawn on that reserve I thought I'd lost..

Maybe I loved less this time. Gave less of myself.

~c~X

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