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rasputin..... please read
October 21, 2006
3:07 pm
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needtoheal
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September 24, 2010
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hey rasputin---

i just want to say thank you for responding to my post on the other thread...

if you get a chance i vented to doubleloss last night because i needed to get some things from the past month out...
it gave me strength and also it made me look at things more clearly....

it is on the thread "doubleloss.. i am here"

otherwise, i am doing better...

a friend that i just got to know better since this has happened.. even she noticed that when i do talk to him i am very upset... and when i do not contact him at all i am much stronger...

i have to contain my impulsivity...

any suggestions??

i read somewhere that every time i have an impulse to talk to him i should read some of the posts i made about our relationship/

I wrote down specific examples of the abuse and when i was thinking of him the other night i took the list out and thought otherwise about calling him... this is a man that totally discounts my feelings.. so there is no reason for me to even explain myself to him anymore;;

he has been pulling further away from me anyway....

i am not sure if that is a control move on his part --- just to get see my reaction-- because he had done many things and admitted to saying and doing many things in order to "SEE' how i would react...

for example, he told me that before when we were just friends he was with this girl sexually (only oral sex) and that it was his 'LAST CHANCE TO BE WITH A PERFECT TEN"

SO what do you think about that?

there is more i would like to share if you have time....

thanks

thinking of you (((ras)))

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