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ragged edge of emptiness
September 7, 2005
9:31 pm
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hollow
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My life is over. It began with her. Now I hate me with her. She was down, miscarriages, couldn't get pregnant...another guy cured her. I don't know; she was my mother, my sister, my daughter and she brought with her a will to life I never managed, also dogs and cats I loved for more than a decade. Then all is gone, I'm broke, no home no love no people. To live seems a frail homely exercise more shameful than suicide only by it's unending repetition and on going break down. I'm handsome, I'm 39. My heart is too big. That's all I got.

September 7, 2005
9:50 pm
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Lucy46
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From your message, i feel your hurt and pain. i'm so sorry for all that you are going though. It's so hard (ok, rstatement of the century) when someone becomes your life, your happiness, you saddness, your air...

I, too, am trying to figure all this out and I've found a lot of comfort in this site. hope you can too.

September 7, 2005
9:55 pm
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22haha
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Hoolow, I'm sorry you are hurting. You said "now I hate me with her" then you said you were alone. Are you still together? What has happened to make you not like yourself with her?

September 7, 2005
9:57 pm
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CAMER
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hi hollow, or are you upset that she is not with you anymore???

Try to think of all the good you have, look you even said you are handsome, you have alot of strength and courage to come here and vent with us, keep doing that and feel your own worth, cuz you do have it!!!

September 7, 2005
9:58 pm
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D dog
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First of all, great thread title. I don't mean that lightly - it is descriptive of much of the pain that I've been through, too.

Hollow - the only thing I can say at this point which may be helpful is that most of us on this site have experienced this pain, perhaps under different circumstances, but we've been there. Keep posting.

My heart goes out to you.

Much love -
D dog (((Hollow)))

September 7, 2005
10:10 pm
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exoticflower
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(((((Howlow))))), I think you sound very full in=deed, I don't believe this can break you!

September 7, 2005
10:16 pm
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22haha
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Hollow - hope you are o.k. tonight.

Maybe it will make you smile just to see all the ways we can spell hollow wrong... hoolow, howlow... Sorry EF- it just made me giggle.

September 7, 2005
10:32 pm
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gingerleigh
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(((Hollow)))

September 7, 2005
11:05 pm
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hollow
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My identity came from her, I was proud with her. Without her there is no me. We've been apart a year, divorced since 3-22. I hate me with her because SHE hates me, so I must as well.

September 7, 2005
11:08 pm
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22haha
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Hollow, why are you so hard on yourself? What makes you think she hates you? Without her there is a you - you just need to find out who that is. Who were you BEFORE you met her? Your identity did NOT come from her!!!!!!

September 7, 2005
11:10 pm
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Neshema
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Hollow- You handsome 39 yr old great catch. Can I have you? I am quite a cutie, myself and very empty and hurt too. I love a sensitive, loving man who is not afraid to give away his heart. I bet a lot of other woman would just be thrilled to have you. The old cliche holds, "where there is life, there is hope." So, why deny the beautiful women of the world a chance with you? When I meet my one true love, I will have all the more appreciation for him after sinking so low in the depths of my emptiness. You are young enough to begin a life better than you ever planned. First, heal, but don't deny yourself the chance. Embrace your suffering so you can fully experience being alive again someday. And, no, she was not your mother, sister or any of those things. She was to be your partner in good times and bad, for better or worse. Find someone like Christopher Reeve's wife, Dana, who will love you no matter what. That is the model. That is what my parents have, and I will settle for no less. That is the kind of wife I will be, and that is what she was not to you. You can thank her for leaving while you are still young and handsome. Plenty of us would love a man with your heart. Hugs, Neshie

September 7, 2005
11:27 pm
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lost and found
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hey hollow i am so sorry for your pain and loss. just know we are here for you. i remember feeling like you did with your wife with my husband at one time. it wasn't and isn't healthy. time to find out who you are. neshie is right , you will be a great catch for a smart young lady.

September 7, 2005
11:38 pm
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LovesPurple2760
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Hollow, This sounds like a "bad" day for you. We all have those from time to time. Your reaching out to the members of this board is a good thing to help you work through it. Sometimes I just sit back and read other people's posts and something will click in my head that maybe I'm not the only messed up person in the world. There are many problems that people experience, work through and eventually conquer. Keep posting and go back and read some of the past posts. There will be someone out there who you can relate to in how they view their past relationship and their experiences in dealing with healing from it.

Keep us updated. We are here to help each other!

Loves, LovesPurple!

September 8, 2005
10:13 am
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LovesPurple2760
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Hollow, Today is a new day, how are you feeling today? Please let us know!

Love, Loves!

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