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July 9, 2002
12:20 am
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gypsygirl
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Why do people single me out for emotional abuse? I do not understand people. I was and still am the one person that gets singled out and picked on and made to feel like nothing. What have I done to all these people in all those different situations? Am I that different? I don't think I am a bad person. And why do certain friends have to comment on haw bad my boots are and that I turn up the seem at the bottom of my jeans? They are my clothes damnit I can wear them any way I choose to. If they don't like it they don't have to look right? Explain explain explain. What motavates people to be horrible? I have a certain amount of respect for other people why don't I get that in return? I have a bad case of P.P.M.O.

July 9, 2002
2:11 am
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silence
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Why is the sky blue? Why is water wet? It just is. And stuff like this just happens. My old movie group used to call me dickhead. Every now and then I'll see one of them at the movies... actually I'll hear them call out "dickhead" first. I didn't ask for the name or do anything to cause it. It's just a name that stuck.

I say I don't care about it, and I mostly don't. But, I know that nagging feeling each time something bad happens. Why me? Why not someone else? Again... it just happens that way.

July 9, 2002
7:58 am
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nikka
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Bad happenings are often involved in the way we look at them. Sounds, dear woman, as though you are looking for validation for how you choose to be from others who are trying to be validated by how well they look like everyone else. --

Gypsy, I've seen your picture, nothing wrong with what I saw there. We must learn to be comfortable with who we are, not with who others peg us as. Their choices are theirs. Just relax and be comfortable with who you are right now. It'll change a few times in the next fifty years and you will be someone else after that.

Someone with a good heart and mind, I imagine.

July 9, 2002
11:24 am
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gingerleigh
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Might I suggest getting different friends?

*smile*

Sorry, I seem to be in a mood this morning. We made our coffee Xtra strong today. I shall have the coffee people fired tomorrow (kidding Cici). Off with their heads!

Gyps, I've seen your picture as well, and maybe your friends feel most comfortable "picking" on you because you are pretty and have your looks to fall back on, and figure that you won't care about them saying anything about your boots or cuffs since it's such a little thing. I mean, what if you were a zillion pounds and looked like you got run over by the ugly bus? I doubt they would tease you about anything then. Sort of like I feel comfortable teasing friends from work who are really good at their jobs about stupid screwups because it's so unlike them, whereas I would never ever tease a coworker who performs sub-par about anything related to work because it's more the norm than an anomaly that you can joke about.

Does that make any sense?

July 9, 2002
12:22 pm
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gypsygirl
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I love that you all have such a different perspective than me.

I have always been a tom boy, and never put much energy into my appearance. everyone was always trying to put makeup and hairdoos on me. I feel comfortable dressing scrubby. I take pride in knowledge and accomplishments. I guess that makes me different. it seems to me that most everyone else dresses up trying to make an impression with their looks. Are they trying to cover up their real selves? I am a straightforward kind of gal. I have opinions and I feel the need to express them, I refuse to put on a front for people. Don't get me wrong, I do dress up fom time to time, I wear make up when I work and for special occasions.

I guess it all boils down to the way I want to be remembered. At my funeral (in 100 years) I want them to say she did this and that, she was an award winning published poet, she raised her children to do their part to change the world into a better place. She strived to better herself through knowledge, she used her knowledge to help others. I would much rather have a beautiful soul tham a beautiful face.

July 9, 2002
2:49 pm
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gingerleigh
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Why not have both?

July 9, 2002
2:55 pm
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nikka
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I second that idea, ginger. Gypsy, you do have both, looks and brains and heart, duh, that would be all three wouldn't it. Your validation of that is all that seems lacking from where I sit. -- So stamp that parking ticket and get the car outta the lot for free!!!!

July 9, 2002
3:59 pm
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Cici
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I don't think all people dress up for other people. I like to wear makeup occassionally, and I have an addiction to clothes. But 90% of the time I'm dressing up for ME, not anyone else.

I think of my makeup as warpaint, for some odd reason, and though I don't do it every day it makes me feel good about myself when I do.

Just a different perspective.

July 10, 2002
1:36 pm
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gypsygirl
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Hmm... I never thought about being both.

July 11, 2002
11:38 am
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gypsygirl
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B, I love you woman. I respect your advice.

The crowd i hang around is very small. it is Booker, and a couple. Those are my closest friends. They are not close enough for me to trust 100% but booker is. Booker is 31 and the couple is 40 or so. The woman, K, is the one who complains about my clothes. she is a housewife, that never goes anywhere but the casino once in a while. She has two kids 9 and 15 the 15 y/o is autistic (sp) she has bad hair and wears scrubbier clothes than me. She dislikes my music and my clothes and etc. She once feared that I might hit on her but now she is the one wanting me to have a threesome with her and her husband. go figure.

Booker and I have gone through hell together, We communicate now better than ever. He is my life partner, there were bad times very bad times in the past, but I believe that certain people really do change. There was never physical abuse.Although We have exchanged words. We have grown.

July 13, 2002
8:25 pm
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SuzyQ
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Gypsy,
I know a lot has been said, but I totally relate to the insults from people who we call "friends". I have a few friends who are very concrete and into looks, but don't always go deeper. It does sound like your situation is different, but in a way I know I can relate. I am generally more of an abstract person. However, tonight Blondie's given a lot of good advice about changing friends, that whole 12-step stuff (don't get me wrong I'm not against it). Hell, I'm just sold on Blondie's recommendation of "Buy me some new pants", "boots". Damn it, why didn't I come up with that when I was insulted by a friend about my shoes, hair, make-up. "If you don't like it, buy it for me, bitch!". Great advice (as usual) Blondie! lol 🙂

Good Luck Gypsy

Good Luc

July 13, 2002
8:31 pm
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SuzyQ
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Well, I don't know how I messed up at the end of my post, but Good Luck! Good Luck! With everything, Gypsy!

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