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Question to the Participants
July 31, 2001
7:14 pm
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kafka
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This is not an accusation but merely a question... Is this particular web site discussion group "cliquey"? The reason I ask is because many new peoples' threads go unanswered and I just want to make sure that when we bear our souls to you popular people, we're not wasting our time. I realize many of you are good buddies from carrying on fulfilling long term online relationships, but are there any people out there who want to talk to new users who might appear a little boring at first? I know it's hard to get away from such juicy topics as "soon to be ex wives who fool around with Hunky Floridian men", or "men who act like pigs" (guilty as charged ;-D), but some of us just want some simple input. Anyway, it's not that I'm moaning about it, just wondering if perhaps we're supposed to go to a freshman orientation class first before coming here? Any input would be appreciated!

Kafka, a Lowly Freshman

July 31, 2001
7:24 pm
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Molly
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Ok, so I really do have a job, I try real hard to never ignore the lonely one, out there as once upon a time it was me. There is no orientation, there are no rules, its just that well, just like anything else, some of those established threads, are like cliff hangers, and that is where one goes first. This thread has all sorts of folk, some experienced, some not, various degrees of comfort levels being the first to respond. There was even a question as to wether or not some of the posts were real, again, some of the hesitation.
I guess you could call me a senior, ugh ugh in more than one way, and there are several of us that were deprived of contact during the down time, and we do have an investment in each other, aka relationships, is that a clique? well welcome to it.

July 31, 2001
7:41 pm
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Listen...
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I agree. There are no rules here. Whatever touches us in a certain way or raises flags we'll respond to. If we don't relate, then we can't offer any help or advice. I'm more likely to respond if it seems familiar. We really do care Here! Give us a shot...

July 31, 2001
8:15 pm
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gingerleigh
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It goes in waves... I'm certainly no pillar here the way that Molly is (she's been the prevailing voice of reason on this group), but sometimes things get posted that just strike a chord with certain people, and those people just want to respond. I personally tend to overbubble with posts when something vibrates with me or my past experiences.

I read all of the threads that get posted, but often the questions raised are so far outside of my own experience, or so complex that I can't comprehend enough that I would even want to insult the poster with a response. (It would probably look something like "duhhhh... I dunno... that's really hard. Can someone else post something smart or relevant because I sure can't and wish to God that I could...") So I hang back and wait...

I sure hope that people who come here feel like they have a right to post, question, answer, challenge, no matter whether they've been here a day, a month, or a year. I was scared when I first came here too, but people welcomed, questioned, and challenged me, and I am a happier healthier person for it I think...

August 1, 2001
1:43 pm
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eve
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kafka, hi!
you're sure you're not complaining? Sounds very much like it in my virtual ears šŸ˜‰

I read often, but write only sporadically. And you'll never have a guarantee that you will find what you are looking for - here or elsewhere. But if you don't start looking and stay worrying about whether you should or shouldn't start looking for an answer here, you're not getting anywhere, are you? - you're just running away from the Question you'd like to ask!

Write down your problem. Whith me, writing things down usually helps - it does help to get a grip on things.
Eve

August 1, 2001
2:23 pm
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site coordinator
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Kafka,

I just went through to check on that...

I see only one thread that went unanswered in the last couple weeks (since we've been back up).

Part of what you may be witnessing is that the THREAD LIST screen reflects only the number of postings made within the TIME FRAME, which doesn't reflect the total number of postings, but rather the number of posts made within a certain frame of time, usually a week. That's the general TIME FRAME DEFAULT.

ie: If there has only been a post within the LAST WEEK, the postings only reflect 1 post, regardless of how many posts have been made.

Usually if a first time poster gives a good description of their problem/conflict, folks here, if they relate, have given awesome feedback. But if the new post is brief/less undescriptive, it can be tough for folks to relate and give feedback, especially if there are no new posts from the originator providing additional info.

I'll use this post also to express my Energetic Regards to all, and give another warm WELCOME BACK to everyone old and new since our database outage!

- SC

August 1, 2001
11:04 pm
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ranmar1
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SC
I couldn't believe how long it took to come back up. Kafka, back in January I stumbled across this site, when my wife announced unexpectedly she was through with our 15yr marriage (most like due to "just a male friend".) I too was intimidated in jumping in and posting. Now, I can't wait to get on and post, read and help respond with any input of experience I have gone through. It is so theraputic to have all these people here, responding, with nothing to gain by it other than wanting to share and help. I hope you get past your initial hesitation, and become a part of an awsome group. No status class or cliches here, just honest to goodness, trusting friends, who someday I wish, could have a personal gathering somewhere. Welcome to your chance to post....
Randy

August 2, 2001
11:55 pm
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kafka
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yep, it definitely looks like a good site. I think I was just trying to figure out all the thingys. Should be nice to correspond to you all!
M Kafka

August 3, 2001
3:39 pm
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cool
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hey all this is truly a wonderful site. wish we had a chat line because it is really therapudic for me anyway. I speack from the heart because this is who we really are as human beings if we don't try to be someone else we are not. Any way we all have situations in our life as u know its how we handle them that makes us or breaks us. It would be nice to meet many of u one day but continue to stand strong, daily striving to be the best people u can be and as u probably know by watering others we also get watered. (By being there for others with their burdens lets me know that maybe what i'm going through is nothing compared to what they are). So long for now.

August 3, 2001
4:13 pm
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sue2001
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I am just now today starting my way home, where I am supposed to be I want the best life has to offer and I don't have it yet.. Thank Everyone for a part of thier life...I will come back often as I head home...Cause I need help... šŸ™‚ and I would like to help... sue

August 3, 2001
8:06 pm
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Molly
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Sue, how does that song go, all you have to do is call me, and I'll be there.

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