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Question to Dear Kathy!
August 10, 2005
2:22 pm
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Rasputin
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I like your responses to people. They are wise, practical, concise. You seem to put the truth in nutshell. I wonder what kind of studies did you pursue in order to be able to answer in this way? Are you counselor, therapist or social worker?

August 10, 2005
2:44 pm
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kathygy
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Rasputin,

Thank you for what you said. It feels good to hear all of that.

The way I respond to people here is not based on any studies I took in school. Actually, I studied science.

What I say is based on many years of hard work on myself in therapy, group therapy, 12-step meetings and reading self-help books. I have been involved in some kind of personal growth work for 25 years. I have developed close friendships with healthy people who support and nurture me and with whom I can be honest about my feelings and needs. I continue to work on my relationship with myself everyday making it better and better.

August 10, 2005
3:06 pm
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Rasputin
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Sweet Kathy,

You are a Real Blessing to Me and to this site. I wish I could have ONLY ONE girlfriend just like you! You really help balance up my emotional personality with your rational personality!!! No wonder they say opposites attract! ROFLLLLLLLL

Best of luck!

~Love, RAS~

August 10, 2005
3:46 pm
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kathygy
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Rasputin,

You are wonderful and so full of love! I would love to be a girlfriend to you.

love,
kathy

August 10, 2005
3:59 pm
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2bstrong
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I want to jump in here and say that both of you are wonderful in what you bring to these boards...Kathy with your no-nonsense, practical and direct responses, you can cut through the thickest fog.

Rasputin with your tender salutations and sensitive approach, you can warm and comfort the most hardened or hopeless soul.

I am grateful for both of you...

With much love, 2b.

August 10, 2005
4:16 pm
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Rasputin
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Thank you 2B. You are wonderful lady and I love you so! You are warm, wise, sweet. I am so blessed to have you 2B and all the wonderful people here!

~Love, RAS~

August 10, 2005
5:59 pm
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on my way
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Kathy, I agree!

August 10, 2005
6:02 pm
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Anonymous
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Ditto what 2b said!!!

You guys are the bomb!!!

August 10, 2005
6:03 pm
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SexySadie
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Here here....a toast to Kathy!!
(raising my glass of water to ya girl!!)

Thank you!!

August 11, 2005
9:12 am
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kathygy
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SexySadie,

That's very sweet! I feel so touched I could cry. Here's a toast to you!

love,
kathy

August 11, 2005
9:18 am
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D dog
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Count me in on the kudos - you guys rock! Raising mug-o-coffee...

:o)

August 11, 2005
9:26 am
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kathygy
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Come on in D dog, here's to you!

love,
kathy

August 11, 2005
9:36 am
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kathygy
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Rasputin,

You are love. See what you have created here, a circle of love. That is a gift to everyone, certainly to me.

love,
kathy

August 11, 2005
2:05 pm
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Rasputin
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Thank you sweet Kathy and thank you all my dear cyber friends.

Here is a toast to you all with my iced lemonade glass.

Ladies, you are all the SUNSHINE of my life!!!!

XOXOXO~RAS~

August 11, 2005
3:33 pm
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forever and a day
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Maybe I am missing something here.. BUt Kathy you led me to believe that you had a chip on your shoulder.. I did nothing to offend you yet you led me to believe that I had done something that had personally offended you just because I had used capitol letters because i have trouble seeing.. as for a support group it there had been anything as good as this site up til now do you not think I would have done something before. I dont have a clue as to who you are but I will tell you that it that past week I have brought myself up from almost the point of death from this site and do not apprediate being told to go elsewhere by someone who I have never spoken to before. i feel like my only source of security was being threstened.
IF THIS BOTHERS YOU THEN MAYBE I SHOULD GO ELSE WHERE.. BUT I THOUGHT EVERYONE WAS WELCOME HERE. SO WHY TELL ME TO GO ELSEWHERE

August 11, 2005
4:29 pm
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forever and a day
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who are you to pass judgement on to me anyhow. I am no different than you or anyone else in this group and wish you to find a support group in your area that might help you also.. how does that feel KATHY!!!!!

To me. I felt offended and threatened.. what does it make you feel..KATHY!!!

August 11, 2005
4:37 pm
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SexySadie
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Forever,

It is quite understandable that you are feeling the loss of your loved one. We are all truly sorry...especially because the death of a loved one is so final. Many of us here have lost someone, but not to death...most of us to addiction. While we can feel pain also, never ever can we begin to imagine the pain that you must be feeling and dealing with.

Speaking for myself and I am sure everyone on here...we are here for you. This has been a wonderful group and I feel sad reading that you felt that we almost brought you to the brink of death...speaking for myself, this group actually saved my life the past month.

In reading the post from Kathy, she suggested an additional place for you to seek support from. I didn't get any impression that she was telling you that you didn't belong here or asking you to leave. We all belong here...we've all had losses in our lives, some recent some not so recent.

How are you dealing with your loss currently? Are you seeing a grief counselor by chance? Perhaps your pastor or someone of our religion? Again, this is not to send you away but to give you options for other places to go to also.

I know that I am on here...and I also am seeing a therapist maybe once a week, sometimes twice when it gets tough. I also read, read read.

My best to you...a thousand hugs...

August 11, 2005
5:02 pm
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Rasputin
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((((((Forever and a day))))))))

I am so sorry for what you took offense against you!

I have just had sneak peek at your other thread and did not ssee anything offensive in it.

Kathy was merely pointing out that writing in capital letters is considered as shouting which is quite true. Kathy was being honest with you. What is wrong with that?

Also she was suggesting you to join support group. I cannot see anything wrong with this either. Perpahs due to the grief you're going thru, you perceived her response as inconsiderate. But this is what we do when we are overwhelmed. I know that I am sensitive person, when I do thru grief, I do not have support group in my area. That's why this warm website has been my refuge and spa where I seek love, warmth and comfort.

Forever, I have been on this site only in the last 6 months. Believe me, I changed a lot. When I started, I was so scared nervous and shy. Yet the wonderful, warm and wise people on this site where like a family to me.

The atmosphere is fabulous!!!!

Please do not quit, you are at vulnerable stage due to the grief you're going thru!

I hope you will re-consider your decision and change your mind and stay.

Remember honey, that as codeps we tend to take things personally are overreact. Please stay!!!

~Love & Kisses to you~RAS

August 12, 2005
1:22 pm
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kathygy
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forever,

I have just read what you wrote here after I responded in the other thread. I feel very attacked by you which is against the guidelines of this web site. You have completely misunderstood what I wrote to you. I never asked you to leave this site I was merely suggesting additional support which I found very helpful when my mother died. Next time you might try to get clarity from a person before you attack them.

August 12, 2005
1:24 pm
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kathygy
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Also writing in all caps is against the guidelines. It was not a personal comment about you.

August 12, 2005
1:59 pm
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mj
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Kathygy,
Thanks for modeling straightforward communication.

August 12, 2005
2:00 pm
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kathygy
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forever,

I feel that your post to me was very abusive. I have had enough abuse in my life and will not accept it here especially when I have been totaly misunderstood. This is supposed to be a safe place.

August 12, 2005
4:33 pm
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forever and a day
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it doesnt matter now.. I am gone and will not be back you all have shown to me that this is not where I belong now i know i am on my own and of all days.. the 6 month anniversaary of Matts death.. what is there now.. kathy I hope you and your busy body attitude have enough now to talk about.. I did not even know you and you did not even know me so what do you feel justified your reason for insulting me.. you are a mean and nasty person and you should be ashamed of yourself// I wrote in capital letters because it was the only way for me to see what it was i was writting and either way you could have been alittle bit nicer about it;; like i said you did not even know me. how could you take away from me the one place on this earth where I felt ssfe. now i know i am truely all alone// thanks for nothing

August 12, 2005
5:10 pm
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2bstrong
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Hey forever...I am following you aroung--I think you are stepping over the boundaries of hostility.

Calling someone "a mean and nasty person" is abusive. There is no place for that here, this is to be a safe haven from name calling.

Kathy has tried to explain herself, and there are many here who are trying to understand your feelings and be supportive to you.

I am truly sorry you are feeling so abandoned--that is not the mission of anyone here at aac.com

2b

August 12, 2005
5:12 pm
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hoping_2_feel_again
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Forever (if you are still here),

Kathy seems to me to be a very upfront, forthright person. She reads these threads with an open mind to what the writer is trying to convey and how she can best respond. Plus she doesn't mince words.

IMHO she has been through as much, if not more than each of us and offers a much welcome point of view. In other words, she tells it like it is, and by being a part of this site, we should read, reflect and respond without judgement.

If you felt attacked, it is your right, but after reading what others are trying to help you see, then consider that you might have misinterpreted the message.

This site is for people to come to to voice hurts, joys, confusion etc. All of us have been new and somewhat unclear of guidelines.

Please know that we are all here for each other and by communicating openly, we can find comfort, encouragement, clarity, hope, love, and respect.

You are hurting and this is a great site for getting comfort, please do not take comments personal.

You are cared for, believe it or not.

h2fa 🙂

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