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question from Robbie2007
May 9, 2007
11:13 am
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risingfromtheashes
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I was just saying that sometimes tho a job with a sibling is good, and have it's "benefits", it may not be satisfying.

I was jumping the gun really...cuz I haven't heard all your thoughts regarding working for your brother.

But I do side work for my brother, accounting...and tho it's nice money and easy hours...it's not personally satisfying and I enjoy my lower paying job more.

I also think that call center jobs are the pits...give credit to those that enjoy it...but it really is high pressure and little reward.

May 9, 2007
11:14 am
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robbie2007
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ok, yes - you were jumping the gun.

sorry im slow lol

must do some work now...will cont. later

May 9, 2007
11:35 am
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robbie2007
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so after weighing the pros and cons of both jobs... i then went to them and asked if he could hire ME?

the answer was that he needed me for sure, but couldnt afford me and there was a lot going on with having to buy back the other business they had sold.... and to just hang on -

so i did, but also informed my supervisors that I would be leaving but i wasnt sure exactly when.

well - things got worse at that job and i had had enough and one morning stopped by my brothers shop and asked him again about hiring me.

soon after that, i got word that he still couldnt afford me, but he also couldnt afford not to have me.

so i gave my 2 week notice and at the end of january i left the call center and entered a brand new world.

May 9, 2007
11:42 am
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robbie2007
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i guess by now, you are probably wondering what kind of business he has... i havent gotten that far becuz i cannot adequately explain - but i will try.

business #1 - automotive/entertainment involving mechanical work (fixing cars), and body work (restoring cars). car shows. cruise nights and many more things that are evolving from my brothers vision of 4 years ago. we also sell cars. we also store cars.

business #2 - Realty... he has bought many buildings in this city, restored them and rented them out - so he has about 35 tenants.

business #3 - the reqcquirement of the wholesale giftware business he sold a few years ago.

i do the banking, invoicing, some payroll, split out utilities (18 accounts), pay vendors, and all that goes with running a business.

May 9, 2007
11:56 am
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robbie2007
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sorry if i gave too much detail...thought it might help at some point to understand the situation.

May 9, 2007
12:16 pm
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risingfromtheashes
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no, no, the details are helpful.

and you do what I used to do at my last job...and all I do now is simple bookkeeping for my brother...quickbooks.

Do you enjoy the job? Besides being able to bring dog to work and the good pay...do you enjoy it?

In the end, that's what matters.

Now, initially, you started talking about the brother/sister thing and how you feel ignored...what is it that makes you feel ignored?

Your brother seems to be quite the entrepreneur...very busy guy...my brother is too...works tons of hours...makes lots of money. But I don't envy him. My life is less hectic...I make less, but I enjoy life.

May 9, 2007
1:29 pm
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robbie2007
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do i enjoy the job? ive been sitting here for awhile thinking about that and have come to the conclusion that there are many aspects to liking a job other than the job itself.

do i "enjoy" it? well, its not the kind of joy i get from playing music (and yes, i have been down the road of thinking about a music career). I dont think this type of job brings joy to anyone, (does it) so i hope you dont mind if i rephrase that. do i mind doing this type of work? no. I like it better than the call center and I like it better than the job i had before that doing claims.

the things i like a lot about this job are not the job itself. i like it that its only 15 minutes away (less time/ less money on gas). i like the relaxed atmosphere in that i dont have someone monitoring me. i like it that i can bring my dog to work. i like my hours. the pay isnt great but not bad.

this company is still evolving and progressing....so what i do now may not be what i do in 6 months. even my make shift office will someday be a real office.

in my next entry i will talk about what i dont like about working here becuz it partly has to do with feeling ignored.

May 9, 2007
1:35 pm
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risingfromtheashes
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I'll be waiting for the rest.

May 9, 2007
2:09 pm
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robbie2007
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ok. it will have to wait for tomorrow. i already spent too much time here today. 🙁

have a good night.
thanks for listening.
love, robbie

May 10, 2007
8:49 am
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robbie2007
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feeling a bit stressed and a bit more down today. havent really thought about exactly why. just feeling down.

May 10, 2007
9:07 am
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risingfromtheashes
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sometimes there are no reasons...we just have those days.

I know for me, sometimes it's related to my monthly cycle.

Other times...I just feel sad for no reason.

Don't beat yourself up for it...allow yourself the permission to have "one of those days".

When you have the strength...you can figure out why then...if it even matters.

You have done alot of looking inward recently...maybe it's just taxing on you.

May 10, 2007
9:13 am
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robbie2007
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yes, i think thats part of it. i was planning to journal last night about the job and was just too tired.

although i said i dont know exactly why - i think it was an excuse not to think about why.

sometimes i feel like im in the way here. like i should just stay in my corner and be quiet.

May 10, 2007
9:17 am
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robbie2007
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oh my gosh! Rising, i just figured out what it is (the main part). i had to walk down the street a little ways to deliver a bill and i got pretty winded. wasnt even walking fast. face turned red. got sweaty. and it made me realize how out of shape and overweight i am which got me depressed. THATS it! also, i had to walk down there yesterday and i remember when i arrived feeling a bit of pain in my chest. and having that feeling when i walk upstairs. i bit worried about myself. a bit ashamed too.

May 10, 2007
9:21 am
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risingfromtheashes
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shame? I put my pants on today and realize that I am gaining weight.

I am in a size 20 jeans, but probably should be in a 22.

And my boyfriend is wearing size 34 waist jeans and they are falling off his butt.

He is tight and toned...and I am flabby and out of shape.

Yeah, I understand. I try not to look in mirrors...ashamed of what I see...what I let myself become.

I don't know how bad your fibro is, but I know that exercise is one of the hardest things for a fibro patient to accomplish. and that weight gain isn't all that unusual. It's a catch 22.

I have found that avoiding processed carbs, like white flour and wheat...and sugar...helps me feel better and helps keep my weight under control...avoiding nutrasweet/aspartame also helps me feel better too.

yeah, being out of shape and having it hit you in the face like that really can knock your esteem down.

May 10, 2007
9:26 am
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robbie2007
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ya im in a size 20 ...

my fibro is fine, UNTIL i try to do something physical. and thats not an excuse.

sitting here wondering about getting some counseling to get to the root of my overeating. i eat all the "bad" stuff.

May 10, 2007
9:27 am
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robbie2007
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im wondering just how much exercise and to how much exertion would it take so i can walk down the road without getting winded...

May 10, 2007
9:49 am
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risingfromtheashes
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robbie...when it comes to having fibro...it is NOT an excuse.

Most people would like you to think that you are using an excuse.

But there are TRUE physical limitations when you have fibro.

As far as walking down the street and getting winded...the key is to "condition" your body over time.

Meaning starting slow and working up to your goal.

I want IMMEDIATE results...but the reality is...when it comes to exercise...if you are out of shape, you need to start slow and build up to a full workout that some people can just jump right into.

Start slow...take frequent small walks...pay attention to your body...if it protests, dont' push it too much.

Gradually increase the length and speed of your walks...in time...you will be able to take long, speedy walks without being winded.

But no matter what you do, pay attention to the signals your body gives you...cuz with fibro, if you don't...it will take a LONG time to recover...and it then discourages you from trying again.

My doctor recommended I go to overeaters anonymous...I just can't find it in myself to go because I can't see how my higher power can help keep me from eating poorly.

I know that when I abstain from eating sugar, white flour and those kinds of carbs...that I lose the craving and eat well.

Then I have ONE bite of sugar, and like an addict, I binge...and then I throw all my good eating habits out the window.

I find the atkins plan is the best one for me...and it keeps me healthy and doesn't increase my cholesterol or anything else.

May 10, 2007
9:51 am
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risingfromtheashes
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i have got to focus on getting some work done this morning...I have been slacking.

so if I don't answer right away, it's not anything you said...I'll check back later this after noon.

May 10, 2007
9:59 am
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robbie2007
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thanks - i was actually thinking the same thing for myself.

so lets get some work done...will check in later.

May 11, 2007
4:22 pm
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robbie2007
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im almost off for the weekend! ya.

have a nice weekend and happy mothers day!

May 11, 2007
4:27 pm
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risingfromtheashes
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enjoy the weekend!

May 14, 2007
8:55 am
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robbie2007
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ok, my doc appointment is on thursday. i have been thinking a lot about asking for a referral to a counselor.

but....

i cant afford a counselor (tho i know - or think there are sliding scale rates?)

and....

i dont know if having a counselor will be helpful, or just another thing added to my plate that i will have to force myself to do. i wonder if i could go twice a month instead of the usual every week.

i'm also thinking about a nutritionist.....

i imagine myself in the docs office asking about these things - i almost have the courage to do it, but i'm not quite there.

for some reason i feel embarrassed. i know there is no shame in it - intellectually, but...

May 14, 2007
10:51 am
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risingfromtheashes
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no, I know about the shame.

shame that you are "faulty" or something is wrong.

my dad brought me up to keep family secrets in the home...don't share with others, don't let others know there are problems.

I grew up thinking "screw it"...I want to be heard.

Some take longer to get there.

How about one step at a time?

ask about counseling...and YES, you can go twice a month and YES, many have sliding fee scales.

take things one step at a time...you will have better success that way.

and if you get feeling better about yourself mentally, your eating habits may improve on their own.

I have to start eating better...I gave up soda pop last week...I think I may be eating for two now and want to be healthy now...if not for me, then for the little one. Somehow it's easier if I have a reason outside myself.

Like for you, it could be so you can walk the dog more...or run with him, play more...use someone else outside yourself as the excuse not to eat the cookie and get a banana instead.

May 15, 2007
8:34 am
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robbie2007
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are you saying youre pregnant??? 🙂

May 15, 2007
8:36 am
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risingfromtheashes
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as of this morning...officially - yes.

thrilled too.

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