Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Question for Whidbey?
February 16, 2006
7:13 pm
Avatar
Liamo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Whidbey
You seem to be doing great with moving on.I am getting there too, although if Im tired or feeling lonely I still miss him (I think I do)
The question is how do we get so involved with these lunatics?? I fell really hard for this guy. I had been married for 12 years had four kids with my husband and I swear I never loved him as much.
He moaned, he groaned he never spent any money on me, never treated me, it was all me, me ,me and more me.
What is it with these guys. I know they are narcissists but how do we get so sucked in. I dated a***les before, but I was over them in a month. I still cannot get this freak out of my head, and we split up last May.
I have been on a couple of dates but it was only making me miss him more.
He is all loved up???? with his landlady and I cannot bring myself to let a man touch me. He gave me NOTHING except "brain damage" and I still miss him??? What the hell???

Hugs to you

Liamo

February 16, 2006
7:55 pm
Avatar
LotusTampa
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Liamo...hope you don't mind if I interject.

I don't know why we miss these a-holes. I have done the same thing. It's a disease.

I think we had so much hope and expectations and when they came crashing down we didn't want to look like fools?

I'm still recovering. This is, by far, the most difficult one I've had to overcome. It will never happen again. I will never allow myself to be so consumed with a user and abuser.

I should have trusted my gut long ago, and I just plain and simple didn't.

Remember, if nothing changes, nothing changes. Simple as that.

Somehow you will find a way to work through it. This is the only life we have. How are we going to choose to live it?

Do we really want to be chained to someone? Or, do we want to be free?

Let yourself release this guy from your mind. Do some visualization if you have to. Imagine cutting the cord that has kept you attached. Let him go. I am doing the same.

Be well my friend.

Love,
Lotus

February 16, 2006
10:43 pm
Avatar
shelbeegirl
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Liamo, I feel the same way as you do. It has only been two months since my break-up. Try as I may, I still think about him every single day. I loved him so much that it hurts. You must stay positive though. They dont love us the way we love them or we would be working out together with them. It makes you wonder if they even think about us anymore....

February 16, 2006
10:56 pm
Avatar
sdesigns
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 30
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

"He gave me NOTHING except "brain damage" and I still miss him??? What the hell???"

Liamo: You crack me up. I don't have the answers either but something about N's reach deep inside of us on many levels. I too feel like I will NEVER get over experiencing him. I can't wait until I actually don't think about him.. He just creeps me out.

Yours has the landlady- mine had (and this is just one of the many) a 74 year old- another neighbor. 74?!?!? Sheesh.

February 16, 2006
11:27 pm
Avatar
shelbeegirl
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Sdesigns, I know what you mean when you said your ex-N creeps you out. I tHow long have you been broken up?hink everyones does after awhile.

February 16, 2006
11:34 pm
Avatar
sdesigns
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 30
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Shelbeegirl: Three years. But we live in the same complex so I will never be free of him. I wish I would have paid attention before he did his number on me. The things I have seen would curl a normal person's hair. He has a very bizarre lifestyle..Try a combo of recovering alcoholic turned sex addict, womanizer, computer addict, charmer/abuser, narcissist, codependent, needy, AA mtg addict, ego driven...I could go on...you get the picture- he has a few "issues".

When I heard he was trying to seduce the 74 year old neighbor, I went into shock. The one he has now is almost as wierd. YUK YUK YUK He gives me the shivers.

February 17, 2006
7:25 am
Avatar
Liamo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Guys

Thanks for that. I have been told to write a book on my experiences with this freak of nature.
Only problem is what would it be filed under. Fiction? truth? horror? The X files? or you are not going to believe this one?
The only thing that is going to get me over this and give me some satisfaction is when the landlady sees through him. Oh please let this be soon. I am tempted to befriend the Mafia at this stage.
I was watching a horror movie the other night, you know blood and guts and all that stuff. I suddenly found myself drooling with my fists clenched. I was never a person who was into revenge, but sorry guys I am making a very big exception in this case. Keep ya posted.

Hugs Liamo

February 17, 2006
7:59 am
Avatar
whidbey
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey all. I didn't see this until this morning. I am "prepping" for my colonoscopy this morning and spent a lot of time with my friend, the porcelain bowl, last night. (no biggie with the colonoscopy, just the usual "when one reaches an age, it's the thing to do"). Anyhow, enough about me.

However, speaking of poop, let's talk about those N's! I don't know how great I'm doing, except that I know the longer I go with NC, the easier my life seems to be. I won't say I'm all the way there yet. However, the tears seem to be gone, and I can laugh, find things amusing again, and enjoy the world's beauty around me. Have I stopped completely ruminating? No, not yet. It's been a little over a month, and I think I still don't trust the "silence" yet. While I know I can remain indifferent if he calls, I still cringe a bit when the phone rings. I honestly think he won't call now for a variety of reasons. First, and foremost, he's already got someone from Canada with whom he's been chatting on the Internet, though probably met her last summer during his tour, right after I was with him in Vancouver. Ouch. That hurt. As well, with a new tour on the horizon, he's going to have all sorts of supply. While this is a bit painful, it's also a relief, you know? I don't WANT to be contacted by him any longer. Bottom line, the feeling of dread that I have, I think, is a bit of PTSD. Any time someone goes through an immensely stressful and emotionally traumatic event in life (and let's face it, N's are experts at this), there's going to be fall-out, and it just doesn't go away overnight.

How do we get so involved? For each person, I'm sure, there are so many reasons. My childhood experiences were the perfect setup for me to follow this pattern, as I believe it is for most of us. I honestly thought I was through all of that, especially after having been on my own for so long (last relationship was over ten years prior to this one). In the beginning with ex-N, I even had boundaries and would call him on things. However, being the age he is, he is very, very good at what he does. I think the reason I lasted as long as I did is because he had to work hard to get me, and keep me. However, that being said, my boundaries weren't quite good enough, and I let him get away with far too much. I think I felt that this was my one last shot at love, because, frankly, I didn't care much about finding anyone before, and don't now.

I guess you have to figure out where the holes were in your boundary fence, as do I. I finally got all the information I needed, to see the writing on the wall, when I went to take care of him after his motorcycle accident for six weeks. Six weeks was the longest period of time I had ever spent with him; prior to that were two and three-day weekends, being a long distance relationship. What I saw developing in that six weeks was my parents' relationship. My father was an N-extraordinaire, and my mother, well, the long-suffering martyr/doormat (and we all know what happens to martyrs, don't we?). I literally saw my relationship with ex becoming that very thing. A lot of it was "allowed" by me to happen because I was so exhausted from having driven two 12-hour days straight and then jumping right into his high-maintenance care. However, to be honest, I let too much slide even before that six weeks, and for that I take complete responsibility for allowing it.

I suppose, at the end of the day, we all have our own histories and stories as to why we have fallen into these relationships. I honestly think our childhood histories are key in why we have ended up where we are today. I can only relate mine. Of course, we all know how much the N's are the same, with only a few variations. I knew I would have to dig into myself for my answers and discoveries about my life, and I am determined to continue doing that. Let's face it, at 50, I'm in the last third of my life. For the first time, I'm realizing that it can be what I make of it, not someone else. I will never, ever let someone have that kind of power over me again, and I will take any and all steps to ensure it doesn't happen. That doesn't mean I won't continue to be a loving, kind, giving person. I'm also determined I won't allow him to take that away from me. I loved, in the beginning, with a pure and honest love for the facade he presented. Sadly, he just wasn't really that person, as I later found.

I suppose it's that determination that keeps me going and fighting to not allow him, or anyone like him, in my life ever again. Yes, I still have emotions about the whole thing, good God in Heaven, yes I do. But, the level of the pain begins to fade the more I discover ME and learn to love myself for who I am. We need to begin to fill ourselves with good and healthy things in our lives, because then, if such a person ever approaches us again, we will have the power, AT THE VERY START, to say, "Excuse me, WHAT did you just say to me? That is unacceptable!" And most importantly, WALK AWAY from that kind of behavior, if it is repetitive.

Well, I'm just rambling here. I've had nothing to eat for 24 hours hours other than clear liquids preparing for this darn procedure, so I have no idea how this has all come out, or if I've even answered any of your questions. I'll be drugged up for the procedure, so probably won't be back on until tomorrow.

I just want you all to know that I think you are amazing people, and just believe me that you have strengths you don't even know about yet; however, they are there, and they are there for you to use. You just need to find them and start working them, kind of like starting an exercise program. It hurts at first, but then it starts feeling really good and is very empowering.

Hugs to you all,

Whidbey (soon to be endoscopically violated.... oy...)

February 17, 2006
10:44 am
Avatar
shelbeegirl
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey Whidbey, Good luck on your colonoscopy today. It is a drag, but at least smart enough to get it done. I am a nurse and I am usually the one getting people ready and prepped. I bet you are starving and feel a bit weak. You will be way better tomorrow. I love your comment "I am going to be endoscopically violated!!!!" HAHAHA

February 17, 2006
7:34 pm
Avatar
penny lane
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Whidbey...I hope all is well with you also...to read about your experiences and left over emotions from your bf speak volumns to me also. You were kind enough to send good advice to me some weeks ago...well appreciated. After 2 months away from my ex NBF I am left feeling apprehensive and able to tear up at a moments notice..for no apparent reason. I am also in my 50's and this was my first experience with this type of man. I want to lift my spirits and return to the dating world but I have no energy or desire...I dont want tooo much time to pass..I need to get back up again and begin living life and be open to love but I cant feel it. My work has suffered and I cant stop smoking...I had quite for a long time..but my ex smoked around me..at me..even though I asked him to stop he wouldnt...now my stopping is very difficult. Any Advice..you sound strong and are eveidently caring for yourself ...any advice?

February 17, 2006
9:15 pm
Avatar
whidbey
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks Shelbee and Penny. The colonoscopy was a piece of cake. One minute I was talking to the nurse about something, and the next minute (it seemed), they were waking me up. I love drugs... lol

Penny, don't be so hard on yourself. My last contact with ex-N was a little over a month ago, but I actually broke up with him last November. I cried and cried for weeks and felt just as you are feeling now. I can't tell you what to do, but I have no desire to enter the dating scene just yet, if ever. However, if it was something I eventually wanted, I would give myself time to get over this experience and process it properly, evaluate myself, feelings, and why I allowed myself to get into this kind of relationship, etc. I am also learning to set healthy boundaries. I think that would be key in being able to eventually find a healthy relationship. An experience with an N just leaves one shipwrecked and devastated, and it takes time to recover from that. Damage was done and one needs time to heal. When we feel the way we do about what we went through, we are extremely vulnerable and open to exactly the same kind of relationship to recur. NPDs and charmers/abusers are able to sniff that kind of vulnerability out a mile a way, kinda like a shark.

Try to start living your life for yourself, perhaps without a man for a while. Find yourself again and love yourself enough to get strong again.

As for the smoking, I wish I could say I was strong in that arena, but, alas, I haven't been, but it's on my list! I had planned to stop last fall, on my 50th birthday, before all this stuff hit the fan, but just couldn't do it. I'm setting another date as soon as spring and warmer weather gets here. In the meantime, I will kick-start my indoor exercise regime again so I won't regain all the weight I've lost over the past two years (my decision, though some loss due to stress over the past six months).

Just expect that your feelings will be all over the map for a while. That's what I finally had to realize and be kind to myself because of it. It would make me angry at myself that I wasn't "just getting over it" like I felt I should. Then I realized that the best way through a trauma is to go through it, not avoid the feelings. That being said, I've refused to allow myself to get stuck in the depression or anger phases, and that's where it just takes plain hard work to get out there, be involved with family and friends and people who truly love me and have my best interests at heart. It's very affirming.

Mostly, yes, I am strong, but I do have my moments, as a lot of folks here can attest by my past posts. But, that's okay. It's part of the process, and this site has been a God-send for me. I can't thank the people here enough for the support and information I've gotten. πŸ™‚

February 18, 2006
12:51 pm
Avatar
garfield9547
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Liamo
He gave me NOTHING except "brain damage" and I still miss him??? What the hell???
I had such a good laugh. The way you express yourself is just awesome. Have you ever considered to write a book??
Thanks for that. I have been told to write a book on my experiences with this freak of nature. Only problem is what would it be filed under. Fiction? truth? horror? The X files? or you are not going to believe this one?
OK I see you have considered writing a book and I can see the problem. Gosh, I'm laughting again....
Whidbey
However, speaking of poop, let's talk about those N's!
You girls must get together and write a book. BESTSELLER I promise
Well, i enjoyed this thread so much.
Something for all

You are not alone...

"I mourn the loss of what could have been and what should have been and the realization that he will never be any different. It's quite shocking to realize you wasted a whole year of love and time and money on someone who never really cared about you because they can't. It hurts! I hate it too. I'm still spending alot of time trying to understand and deal with the pain"

"Eventually, you will come to the painful realization that you were nothing more than an instrument of their self gratification, then we're as easily discarded as a piece of gum that's lost its flavor."

"You are dealing with a totally delusional human being, who builds his own fantasies about his reality and believes his own pathological lies. How can you possibly hope to have a healthy relationship with someone who bases his whole existence on deceit? IMPOSSIBLE! And don't kid yourself - They know exactly what they are doing - They prey, victimize, and devastate."

"I spent 7 years with my N, trying to recapture the first 3 months, and yet it’s only today that it occurred to me that the first 3 months were NOT who he was; the rest of the time was!"

"As human beings, we cannot grasp evil so cold. We just cannot imagine this whole part of our lives that was so important, was a big nothing. A big sick lie. When it's over, we will be forgotten like yesterdays trash."

"I have both a therapist and psychiatrist, and both helped me see how I gravitate toward men without consciences because I was raised around them. In fact, I was willing to look the other way for this guy precisely because I grew up looking the other way"

"I believe I've been to Hell and met the Devil..."

"If you want genuine heartfelt advice from one of the many on this forum who have had their entire lives destroyed on every level - emotionally, financially, or psychologically: BE AFRAID, BE VERY AFRAID!!!! RUN LIKE HELL AND NEVER LOOK BACK!!!!"

"I would say my biggest weakness is a heart that is too compassionate; and a high level of tolerance of nonsense."

"Even now I find it difficult to fathom how you can give so much of yourself to a person and have them so totally wipe it all away as if it never happened with no remorse and go on their merry way leaving a path of destruction behind them."

"I'm mourning the myth of what I thought was reality. I wanted it to go back to like when we first met. He was so charming,humorous and complimentary---unlike any guy I ever met. He found me at a vulnerable time. My ego needed a boost. But even in the midst of this charm, there was also this gut feeling that something was not right

(((Garfield)))

February 18, 2006
1:36 pm
Avatar
whidbey
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

"I would say my biggest weakness is a heart that is too compassionate; and a high level of tolerance of nonsense."

"Even now I find it difficult to fathom how you can give so much of yourself to a person and have them so totally wipe it all away as if it never happened with no remorse and go on their merry way leaving a path of destruction behind them."

"I'm mourning the myth of what I thought was reality. I wanted it to go back to like when we first met. He was so charming,humorous and complimentary---unlike any guy I ever met. He found me at a vulnerable time. My ego needed a boost. But even in the midst of this charm, there was also this gut feeling that something was not right."

Can I hear a loud AMEN, sisters?!? Let's never ignore those gut feelings again, okay?

Just noticed above, someone mentioned the "three month" mark. That's about what mine was too. Wonder if this is a normal "time line" for the N's ability to adequately project a false self? Or, perhaps, that's how long it takes to sucker us in adequately. Either way, sooooo glad I'm out!

February 18, 2006
1:40 pm
Avatar
garfield9547
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

AMEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

February 18, 2006
2:00 pm
Avatar
Liamo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thank you all Garfield and Whidbey and sdesigns.

All of you are just so inspiring.I just wish at times I could turn back the clock and have listened to my gut, and looked at all the red flags that were beating me up, for God's sake they were blowing in the wind on the landladys roof.

He was so charming and sweet and I thought he was the nicest guy. But a monster underneath it all I really do believe these guys are evil. I am still not the same woman I was before I met him, but I know I will get myself back. I just get spooked sometimes that I have not heard from him. I would love to at times just to get my dignity back by telling him to F**K O*F Hopefully someday.
Talk soon

Liamo

February 18, 2006
2:38 pm
Avatar
garfield9547
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Liamo

The day will come i can assure you.

The day we drink champagne!!!

Garfield

February 18, 2006
11:37 pm
Avatar
LotusTampa
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi all! I know it's been a few days since I've been on here...just basking in my misery during that time...and work was nothing short of HELL for the past two weeks.

In fact, I'm experiencing all the fall-out at work from the past 7 or 8 months I was in contact with the prick of the universe. I was completely distracted and a wreck...how I even managed to make it to work each day is beyond me. How utterly stupid I was for jeopardizing my JOB, that pays me so well and provides a wonderful life for my children, over a f-d up, emotionally and verbally abusive, narcissitic, crude, unloving, unkind, evil MONSTER.

I think mine slowly revealed who he was relatively quickly...within a month?

But, me and my "never like anyone because I'm so picky" attitude forced me to be involved...because I felt badly for my pickiness! HUH?!

I visited with my sister and brother-in-law tonight and they reaffirmed that he was a control freak. My sister said, "he was so not genuine". She can spot 'em too. I was just too blind, hopeful, wishing, lonely, yada yada...

Oy vey...

I'm so glad I have you all here. I always feel inspired when I realize I have the power...and I get more strength each day and even more when I come here and get my dose of reality.

Love,
Lotus

February 19, 2006
8:18 am
Avatar
whidbey
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey Lotus!

Good to see you! I've been wondering where you were. I know exactly how you feel about your job. My supervisors have been VERY patient with me over the last year, but I'm realizing now those days are over (not from anything they've said, but within myself). I wasted a lot of time and money last year, BUT those days are over and there's nowhere to go but up and improve myself and my work.

Hang in there. You are just going through that final break stage, kind of like I did with the jacket. I'm not in tip top form, but I have to tell you that with every day of no contact, it just gets better and better. It feels SO GOOD not to be on that roller coaster ride any longer. The occasional sadness and rumination is much better than the high anxiety, butterflies, and full-blown anxiety attacks.

Is there some place where you can do a little volunteer work? That's next on my list. There is an organization where I live that does horseback riding therapy for disabled/challenged children, and I'm going to check that out. I had horses when I was growing up, so that will be fun to get back into that realm as well. I know that any time we put ourselves "outside" of ourselves to help others, it's always a good and healthy thing for us. A good a true thing, you know? And Heaven knows we need that in our lives. πŸ™‚

You stay strong. Try and find a couple of those books I recommended, such as The Betrayal Bond and the verbal abuse book by Patricia Evans. They will do wonders and help you stop the "Why did I do this" thoughts. You will begin to love yourself again, and most importantly, begin to really let go of the unhealthy relationship you were in and FORGIVE yourself.

Love and hugs,
Whidbey

February 19, 2006
8:40 am
Avatar
penny lane
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

The 3 month rule...that must be in effect. That was the time period for my ex N to capture my heart..I kept a diary from the beginning and it was about 3 months exactly. Interesting ..when the passion and sex stopped (immediately...like an anvil dropped) I asked him why...his answer was "it always happens in his relationships" but no information beyond this. I was devestated and confused...shortly thereafter (within 3 more months) he broke up with me citing I couldn't have children ..that was his reason. I went into a tail spin and for the first time in my life sought the advice of a therapist...Maybe there is something to the time period for these N's...of course he reentered my life again and again over the next 3 years...I too had gut feelings about this man...but put them aside because I believed he would reappear...

February 19, 2006
8:58 am
Avatar
LotusTampa
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Whidbey...

You are a BEAUTIFUL woman! I feel like I have known you for so long.

I agree about the volunteer work. In fact, a few years ago I had all the information I needed to do volunteer work at The Spring (a place for abused women and their children). I never followed through...sigh. My goal was to teach them work-skills, public speaking, etc.

I will explore that once I get motivated and push this jerk-wad out of my mind completely.

In fact, when I was in that relationship I remember thinking, "does this guy do anything good outside of looking for his own supply?" I mean, he had absolutely NO activities outside of dicking around on his computer in chat rooms, instant messaging, dating sites...and then, he went to work, worked side jobs, ate at Denny's, shopped for clothes and yacked my ear off about his ex-wife and how she is screwing him over. This guy didn't even like to read, had no social affilliations...it was all about HIM...his thinking "what can i do to entertain MYSELF".

An artist he introduced me to, which I bought a sculpture from, said to me, "He was not very sophisticated"...no SH!T! She hit the nail on the head...he was SO boring (but, he thought he was the most interesting, eclectic, free-spirit walking around). EW! He basically had the emotional depth of a puddle--and a very little puddle at that.

You know, I am not hung up on talking about him so much as it seems...most of this spewing is to keep reminding myself of why I am SO glad he's history. He's such a freak. I guess he thinks his "cute looks" and big weenie are the attributes women mostly seek.

Anyway...

Gosh, I'm glad I came back to this site after taking a few days off...

Love,
Lotus

February 19, 2006
8:58 am
Avatar
LotusTampa
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Whidbey...

You are a BEAUTIFUL woman! I feel like I have known you for so long.

I agree about the volunteer work. In fact, a few years ago I had all the information I needed to do volunteer work at The Spring (a place for abused women and their children). I never followed through...sigh. My goal was to teach them work-skills, public speaking, etc.

I will explore that once I get motivated and push this jerk-wad out of my mind completely.

In fact, when I was in that relationship I remember thinking, "does this guy do anything good outside of looking for his own supply?" I mean, he had absolutely NO activities outside of dicking around on his computer in chat rooms, instant messaging, dating sites...and then, he went to work, worked side jobs, ate at Denny's, shopped for clothes and yacked my ear off about his ex-wife and how she is screwing him over. This guy didn't even like to read, had no social affilliations...it was all about HIM...his thinking "what can i do to entertain MYSELF".

An artist he introduced me to, which I bought a sculpture from, said to me, "He was not very sophisticated"...no SH!T! She hit the nail on the head...he was SO boring (but, he thought he was the most interesting, eclectic, free-spirit walking around). EW! He basically had the emotional depth of a puddle--and a very little puddle at that.

You know, I am not hung up on talking about him so much as it seems...most of this spewing is to keep reminding myself of why I am SO glad he's history. He's such a freak. I guess he thinks his "cute looks" and big weenie are the attributes women mostly seek.

Anyway...

Gosh, I'm glad I came back to this site after taking a few days off...

Love,
Lotus

February 19, 2006
9:04 am
Avatar
LotusTampa
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

ooops...double-clicked!

February 19, 2006
9:29 am
Avatar
whidbey
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Ugh, Lotus, my ex was exactly the same, except he was so fastidious instead of being a slob (to the point that the first time I went to visit and we were getting ready to have sex, he actually stopped to fold his jeans neatly on a chair, even as excited as he was). But, the same as far as it being all about him. But, I guess that's what makes them narcissists, doesn't it? lol The same with no reading, no hobbies outside of his motorcycle; just sitting around smoking pot and watching TV, and expecting to be waited on hand and foot. I know what you mean about retelling these stories to REMEMBER why we need to be GLAD we're not with them any longer.

I remember watching TV once, and I started to discuss something, can't remember what (wasn't even on a personal level, just some current event), it had some depth, and I just got a blank look, and he changed the subject. Geez...

I love the "emotional depth of a puddle!" That's about it, huh? heeeee

February 19, 2006
9:29 am
Avatar
garfield9547
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

LotusTampa

Nice to hear from you again.

EW! He basically had the emotional depth of a puddle--and a very little puddle at that.

HA HA HA

This is sooo acurate. Thats why i say you girls must get together and write a book.

Garfield

February 19, 2006
10:31 am
Avatar
LotusTampa
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks whidbey and garfield.

Ya know, one of my "life-goals" is to write a book. I know I will do it...Perhaps this experience will catapult me to actually do it!

I really am SO glad it's over with him. Talking with my sister and brother-in-law last night REALLY solidified my understanding about what he was all about.

My sister loathes him...she saw right through what I couldn't see because I had painted a false image of him. I believe I lived in denial based on how I envisioned him when I first met him...and still clinging to that vision rather than seeing the whole.

Oh well...he's history and I'm getting better and have learned to NEVER make the same mistake again...NEVER!

I will NEVER relinquish that much of my power over someone who used all the information I gave him to manipulate me, disrespect me, beat me down and use me to bolster his own wounded soul.

I'm not angry anymore...just resolute in my decisions.

Lotus

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
31
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110935
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38542
Posts: 714222
Newest Members:
jessicawales, documentsonline, SafeWork, thomasalina, genericsmartdrugs, 才艺
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer