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question for all you moms
February 24, 2005
10:20 pm
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goddess
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hey, i have this friend who is like 100 percent sure that she is pregnant... she went to the doctor and everything and he said that she was. then, 2 days ago she started what she thought was her period and was really confused but now she is already quiting. is this normal? can you really do that even if you are pregnant?

February 24, 2005
10:24 pm
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basketcase
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Well, I actually had a friend who was pregnant, but had one last period before it stopped. Also, with my last pregnancy ( I have 3 children), I thought I had some bleeding in the beginning, but child number 3 is here and healthy! Your friend should still check with her doctor, though. Just to be sure.

February 24, 2005
10:24 pm
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on my way
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She may be having a miscarraige, which is bleeding out the fetus because it is unable to sustain life, or is just malformed...or she is just doing something called "spotting" which is light bleeding, and then too, some women have a light period after they become pregnant..it involves hormones.

Does this answer your questions? How old is your freind, and is she scared?

February 24, 2005
10:56 pm
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jastypes
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If she was told she was pregnant, and she had some spotting or bleeding, she should let her doctor know that so he/she can determine what's happening.

February 24, 2005
11:30 pm
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goddess
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on my way, she is 15 and very very scared. i really hope for her sake that it is just the one last period thing. thanx everybody

February 24, 2005
11:33 pm
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goddess
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one other question (for now) can you only be one month along and have a miscarriage?... oh, and if you have a miscarriage then wouldn't the baby just come out since it is incredibly tiny (only being 1 month along)? cuz that happened to another friend of mine.

February 24, 2005
11:46 pm
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codep
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I had some bleeding after i found out i was pregnant and everything turned out ok, a lot of times women do especially if they got pregnant really close to their menstural cycle. i also had a miscarriage at 3 month's pregnant, i never noticed the fetus come out, which the dr said i passed at home,too small to see even at 3 month's she said it probably looked like a clot. but i did see the placenta they took it out at the hospital and it was about the size of a golf ball

February 24, 2005
11:47 pm
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codep
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by the way at 15 years old, her body is still growing itself so that could have something to do with it as well..

February 24, 2005
11:49 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Yes you can have period like bleeding when you are pregnant. But the doctor should be aware of it.

Even a miscarriage of just one month along should be checked out by a doctor.

February 24, 2005
11:59 pm
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goddess
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so a miscarriage can happen at one month then?

February 25, 2005
12:25 am
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SweetAmanda
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My ex's mother was having twins. She lost them when she was almost 8 months pregnant. =(

It was her blood pressure, and her blood sugar... Doing wacky things I guess.

February 25, 2005
12:33 am
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on my way
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Yes goddess it can. When I had a miscarriage I was almost 6 weeks pregant. Ususally when there is a miscarriage, the fetus is just not right sometimes, not growing right, so it is bled out. It is a very sad event, so not easy to talk about. Being 15 and pregnant is scary. DO her parents know, or is she afraid to tell them, or is she just waiting? Maybe it would be a good idea to call the Dr. she saw and ask.

February 25, 2005
12:34 am
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goddess
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i am so sorry sweetamanda... my sis had a miscarriage when she was 4 months pregnant. it was so sad. i still miss the fact that right now i would have a 2 year old nephew. 🙁 so say. i really miss him. but, my bro and his wife are having one so that makes me happy 🙂

February 25, 2005
2:19 pm
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kathygy
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I had a misscarriage when I was one month pregnant but had severe cramps with it, so bad I feel to the floor. But she could just be having sone normal bleeding and still be pregnant. What are her plans? 15 is very young to have a baby.

February 25, 2005
2:35 pm
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goddess
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she hasnt told her parents yet and said that she is gonna hide it for as long as she can and then when she starts to get big she is gonna tell them. she is gonna keep the baby most definetly. she doesnt believe in abortions and she doesnt feel that if she goes through all of the pain and everything that she is gonna want to give it up. she feels like she earned the right to keep it.

February 25, 2005
2:37 pm
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CODA_Mom
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Yes, goddess, there may be bleeding at the beginning and at points throughout the pregnancy. It does not necessarily mean there is anything wrong with the baby, it could be the placenta is in the wrong place or hormones or even hemorroids!! I had a lot of bleeding with one of my pregnancies and was convinced that I was going to lose him, but aside from him being a little early, he was totally healthy.

Being only 15, there are more risks for the mom so it is best to be under a doctor's care the whole time.

Blessings,
CM

February 25, 2005
5:17 pm
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restless
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As a mother of a 15 year old daughter, I really really hope she confides in her mother. She will need her mothers support through this pregnancy and someone to make sure she takes proper care of herself. Please try and convince her she should tell her mother now. I agree that there could be some normal bleeding in the first month of pregnancy. I had a normal period one month after being told I was pregnant with my first. Still, advise her to see her doctor about this. And hopefully her mother will be there also.
R

February 25, 2005
10:54 pm
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free
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She's spotting. I did all three pregnancies- so much during the last one that I didn't know I was pregnant until the fourth month, when I made an appointment kuz I thought I might be going through early menopause or something. Surprise!

free

February 26, 2005
3:38 am
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goddess

I responded without reading every post. Just did that.

goddess, your friend's plan is a bad idea. If her parents are going to find out eventually, they may as well find out now. She will buy at most a few months of peace, and then there will be an explosion. The explosion, or whatever she is afraid of, is inevitable. Get it over with.

For one, the stress on her of keeping this secret from them must be tough.

For two, and this is a biggie: she is placing herself and her baby in very serious danger. She needs pre-natal care. To be on preggie vitamins to ensure adequate nutrition. If she doesn't get it in her diet (and she'd have to eat a trainload to get what doctor's want pregnant women to get), then her body will rob her organs, muscles, bones, and teeth for it to use for the developing baby, uterous, placenta. Inadequate nutrition can lead to a host of problems: premature birth, low birthweight, just all kinds of bad stuff.

Her blood pressure and blood sugar along with her heart rate and the baby's heart rate needs to be monitored so that problems can be dealt with early on and not lead to bigger problems.

Yes, women have babies all over the world without good pre-natal care.

But any mother wants the best for her baby, and I bet your friend does, too. I bet she doesn't know how important pre-natal care is for her and her baby.

At 15, she is a high risk pregnancy. Her body isn't "done" developing. For example, a baby is born with skin, but it's thin and not very strong- it can be hurt easily. Your friend's uterous is the same way. It's a "baby uterous", not quite "done." She's at high risk for a host of problems that can occur during early and mid pregnancy, and can be successfully treated if diagnosed early.

Her baby's brain is developing right now. Without adequate iron, her blood cannot deliver oxygen to the baby effectively. If she's vomiting fequently, her electrolytes are low. 15 year old girls hate gaining weight, but she will need to gain at least 24 pounds.

There's just so much.

The few months of peace in keeping this secret- is it worth it? This baby's gonna be around for a very long time- probably 70 years or so, are these few months worth the risks?

goddess, talk to her. If she does not listen to you, tell her parents yourself or your school counselor.

You might lose her as a friend. But you will always know that you did the best thing for her and this child, and that's what real friends do.

free

February 26, 2005
6:12 am
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SweetAmanda
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nothing left to say, free is that damn good. I've missed you free.

goddess- She could go to a crsis pregnancy center. They would take good care of her there.

March 1, 2005
2:51 am
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goddess
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hey guys, i am sorry to say tha i have some bad news, she went to the doctor late friday night (after she had told her mom what was going on (yeah)) because she was bleeding even more then she had been and was getting realy worried about things. she went just to find out that she had lost the baby. she has been really upset ever since. i havent even been able to talk to her. she feels like it is all her fault. i wish that i could help her so bad but i havent even seen her since it happened. thanks for all of the help everyone. goodnight~ goddess

March 1, 2005
5:48 am
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revelation
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Hi Goddess,

I know just how bad she feels as others here have also posted. its a very common event, but that doesn't make it any less sad for the woman who goes through it. I had a miscarriage on 3rd of Jan this year at 6 weeks. I felt so bad that I couldn't even write it up here where I write all my dark secrets! I'm glad she told her mother and I really hope that her mother and all her friends are there for her, if nothing else just as a shoulder to cry on. She will go through a grieving process now, for even though she was only 15 and it was probably the last thing she wanted, the prospect of giving life and having that prospect taken away suddenly is a very traumatic and depressing experience.
How nice and kind you are to go to the trouble of finding out about this for her, you are a good friend and you should give yourself a pat on the back for that.
Rev.

March 1, 2005
2:23 pm
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goddess
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thanks revalation

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