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Question about potty training
June 17, 2006
10:51 pm
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Randomwomen2
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My 3 year old is doing very well about going pee in the toilet but he will not poop in the toilet he knows thats where poop goes cause he will poop in secret then say he has to go potty and shake it out into the toilet. HOW do I get him to poop in the toilet. Not only is it frustraiting but it creates a big mess when he poops any ideas? I have tired to bribe him already and I have explained to him why we need to poop in the toilet

June 17, 2006
11:48 pm
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mamacinnamon
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RW:

First I would call the pediatrician and talk to her. Let her know what is goin on and get her perspective on dealing w/ it.

You might try sitting him on the toilet for 5 minutes 30 minutes after he eats. Read him a book; talk about life, etc.

Now... lol... a mamacin story.....

When my oldest daughter was 5 and my son was 2 they used to bathe together. saved on the water and at that age there isn't anything to balk about. Well, one night my son had to poop but didn't get out of the tub in time. He pooped in the tub and my daughter went hysterical; screamin at the top of her lumgs and cryin and hollaring at my son. Needless to say he was definitely traumatized coz he then refused to poop under any circumstance.

We tried everything to get him to poop. We sat him on the toilet and read books, bribed him, coaxed him, even gramma came over and sat in the bathroom w/ him. We emded up giving him psyllium and he still was holding it. Well, one day he could not hold it any longer and it took at least 6 months to get him to poop in the toilet w/o a big to do over it.

June 18, 2006
1:35 am
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sewunique
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Ok here is my story with my daughter when she was just under three.

I had a problem with her using the toilet to have a BM after some trauma she had (her first time staying with her natural father for her first ... and last summer visit).

She was potty trained very early, done before 2 years old. When she returned home, she would hold it and hold it until constipated. It was not fun for her. Tried all the above and nothing worked. Had to resort to suppositories as well.

Called her pediatriction. He suggested whatever was her favorite treat, to give that after each successful bowel movement. She choose it herself; chocolate ice cream. She understood that was the only time she could have her favorite treat was after her potty success. Of course, after success I praised her big time, whippee!

It worked after about one or two weeks.

But she still has constipation problems occasionally even as an adult. Some people do. It is genetic in our family.

We still had ice cream after that incidence though. In fact, goe to be a nightly ritual even into her adulthood! We love ice cream.

But the pediatrican may have other ideas that work as well also.

Good luck

Sew

June 18, 2006
10:00 am
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LookingForSupport
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When you figure out what works for you please post it because my two year old son will also pee in the potty but will not poop. He tells us he will let us know when he has to go but he only tells us after he does it. He also knows he is supposed to go in the potty, he just doesn't do it.

June 18, 2006
10:45 am
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Anonymous
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hi guys.

here's my input.

my daughter was 3 years and 1 month to the day before she CHOSE to use the potty.

I had tried everything - and nothing worked - stickers, treats, pretty underwear, timing it, sitting for hours, you name it....so finally I said - "screw it" - and left her in diapers. NOT pullups...I was not going to give in and let her feel like a big girl when she wasn't....if she couldn't go in the potty like a big girl, she'd have to continue to wear diapers like a baby.

Well, she didn't give a rat's ass about that either.

And at the time - she was in a daycare that had a separate room for babies and a separate room for the over three and POTTY TRAINED crowd. And she couldn't go over until she was potty trained...so they tried taking her over to entice her to use the potty...STILL didn't work.

And as time went on...she cried and cried every day going to daycare....it was NOT a new daycare.....and separation anxiety shouldn't be the issue since she had been there for a long time.

So, after some investigation, I found out things that I didn't like and moved her to a new daycare.

And exactly ONE month after she started, she asked to wear big girl underwear to school - and I said okay and made sure she understood what that meant....and she said she did....

first day, she peed on the floor no sooner than I got out the door - she spent the rest of the day in diapers.

the next day, she asked again and I said that she didn't do well the first day and I didnt' want her peeing on the floor again...she PROMISED she wouldn't....so I tried again...much to the teacher's dismay.

and when I picked her up, her pullup for naptime was still unused, and they said they forgot to put it on her and she was dry all day.

I used a pullup at night, just in case, but she had ZERO accidents - EVER.

In all that time, she had two accidents during the day - because she waited to long to go.....and she has even had accidents in a pool - because she was so relaxed....

but overall, it was her choice to decide to grow up and many kids hold on to that level of control....other times there is a situation they are unhappy with and it stops them from being able to do the other stuff like potty training.....but the bottom line is control.

when I gave up trying to control the sitaution, we were BOTH happier for it....and despite the evil looks I got for having a 3 year old still in diapers, WE were happier by not fixating on it....and when she was ready, she did it.

my best friend has four kids and the first three were trained before they were two....the fourth was 3 1/2 before she chose to go....and again, I think it was her way of exerting "control" in a chaotic environment.

June 18, 2006
10:59 am
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mamacinnamon
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Ali:

Good points. Brings to mind a few things that had been hiding up there somewhere.

They say if a child is trained before age 2 that it is not the child that is trained, it is the parent.

Yes, I most totally agree that the child has to WANT to go potty. One of the twins wasn't potty trained for pooping until he was 4. The twins were never in daycare or around other kids except on Sunday. Well, kids their age. I think kids that are not socialized (playing w/ other kids their age0 do start later than the ones that must go to daycare. (Not that either situation is wrong.)

My sister finally gave the twin a footstool so his little feet were not dangling over the edge and falling asleep and a book and had him sit there up to 30 minutes. Well, he developed the knowledge that if he wanted to not be bothered that he's say he had to poop and would go sit on the toilet and just stay. Nobody could come in coz the bathroom is the private area. But, soon as she took the books away and it was no fun then he went poop just so he could get up and go play.

Again, 30 minutes after they eat is a good time to "catch" them and to somewhat train their body to go at a certain time daily.

June 18, 2006
11:21 am
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sewunique
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Got a cute grandma story for you. My daughter was potty training her daughter, whci was going ok. The training pants went on, too many misses so the diapers went back on. Then she thought Missy was ready for training pants cuz she really wanted to sit on that special potty chair for her. So back on went the trainiing pants.

One day she was standing in the hallway, stopped, looked serious for a bit, then heard her say; "whopp oh!" She looked down, saw this huge puddle between her feet on the floor.

It was really so cute seeing the glimpse of "what happended?" I still smile thinking about her discovery.

She was taken to the potty chair and changed and never ever did it again, she'd say "potty" and was taken straight away; just a few minor leaks after that one.

My daughter was so easy to train except for that mishap above. That was hard for her. I felt so terrible but it worked out.

But her boys were much older as it generally goes with the development of boy's kidneys.

And each child, just like each pregnancy you carried them in is different; they train and develop as individuals in their own readiness.

June 20, 2006
12:38 am
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LookingForSupport
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Great suggestions, I know I didn't start this thread but I think I will also be able to put these into good use with my son. 🙂

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