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Professional Counseling - what to look for?
March 5, 2002
6:28 pm
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capj
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Can anyone give me a tip or two on how to evaluate a therapist, shrink, or counselor? Can anyone provide some key insights. What to look for. I have been in counseling. I do like the person - I know they try to build a trust-based relationship. But I do not want to have blind faith. That is what I had in my marriage. I suppose I have "trust" issues. And maybe that is not so bad. Everyone is guilty until proven innocent!?!?!

March 5, 2002
6:31 pm
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capj
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Another comment here - hey the guy gets paid to be nice to me and encourag me. I have a hard time trusting someone being nice to me. Plus he is nice and gets paid for being "nice" to me. Hey I think I would like to find a job like that. I'lss be ncie to Molly and Blondie. Will you pay me? Molly and Blondie - really - you can tell me where to go and how to get there!

March 6, 2002
8:29 am
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capj
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I do not call the therapist when I am hurting or upset. His is not a Mr. Fix-it. I have called him on occassion when I have been really upset about my daughter (aka Regan). My opinion of him is that he appears to be a very grounded person. He is married and has kids - younger than my kids. This is the first time I have ever gone to see a man. Previously the therapists or shrinks I saw were all women. I still really hate to cry in front of a therapist - or anyone else for that. I just hate to cry in front of anyone! Ok, I will cry in front of my dog. She likes me. But it is hard to tell if a therapist is effective/good. This guy is board certified.

March 6, 2002
11:49 am
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Molly
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You know its sorta like being a hooker, there has to be a connection of some sorts or it ain't gonna work, no matter what you pay for it. There are all sorts of boards and certifacations, and what ever, it means they passed a test, and got zyx degree, by passing tests. One seminar I took was nothing but screwed up mental health workers, and the jist of the seminar, is that what ever wounds they had growing up, they wanted to explore through school, and then save the world from their exploitation.
My opinion is that it is a paid friend ship, or coaching. Hopefully a good non biased sounding board, that isn't just a rah rah you session, but helps you to get clear on your thinking. part experience, part education, part compassion, part lack of emotional attachment, where they share with you the choices, options, and consequences, that you may not see, or help you quit the dialog that you have confused your self alone in your head with.
Lift your spirit, clear the fog, and help you stay on focus.
Go with your gut, what works for one, isn't necessarily going to work for another, I don't want to be patronized, told to read a book, not that it doesn't help, but real direction when I go in there, and if I am full of crap I want some one to help me see that in a constructive way. Some one who's one agenda that I know in advance, which is just to make the bucks for the hour for the knowledge that they have aquired and hopefully you can pre qualify that in a telephone interview. I can tell with in the first 15 min if its going to go any where or not.
They used to blast John Grey with all of his marriage work, due to the fact that he had been divorced somany times, but hell you go through enough divorces, you learn when to hold them and when to fold them, and what to look for before getting in the game ?
don't ya think ?

March 6, 2002
2:43 pm
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capj
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I think you are correct on when to hold and when to fold. Experience is a wonderful teacher, but she sends in terrific bills. John Grey has the experience. I still hate crying in front of anyone though - except my dog - Jo. Jo is blonde, beautiful and smart. She is a yellow lab - just over a year now, and she always likes me! I named her after my younger sister JoAnn. JoAnn was so flattered she said she was going to name her next dog after me. This is going to be a real confusing family!

March 6, 2002
4:54 pm
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Molly
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I understand completely, I have my Mr. Jonz, and haven't a clue how I would make it with out him. No back talk, no snide remarks, always happy to see me, takes what I give him, comforts me when I am sad, makes me laugh, he is the perfect partner.

March 7, 2002
3:58 pm
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capj
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I think we get animals to provide unconditional love. Of course, it is a two-way street for me and Jo! She is my baby! A big baby, and she thinks she is a lap dog.

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