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PROBLEMS CREATING AND BEING ARTIST
October 28, 2001
2:48 pm
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pill
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I want to say that I love this site. A place where I can lay my concerns and troubles down. I am having a good day.

Lately I have been faced head on with a problems I've had for years. Creating. I am an artist and have a severe problem in motivating myself. I get these great ideas and sketch them out, but DO NOTHING WITH THEM. Ove the weekend I ahve visited art galleries and museums - and it's making me so depressed and mad at myself. I look at this art, and say WHY DON'T YOU DO SOMETHING???

I just can't seem to make myself... I get involved in paying bills, or some other matter... only to find time has once again run out for today and THERE'S NO MORE TIME TO MAKE SOMETHING.

I need to get it out so badly... and I need help advice something.... it hurts because I haven't done any art... it's all blocked up in side.

Can anyone help me?

October 28, 2001
2:57 pm
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Ladeska
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well, well, well.....might we see a blockage here? (smile) My little "Pill"......might we have some logs in the middle of our river doing a nasty little log jam - representing some anger that needs to be expelled?

Creativity - won't flow - with that log jam in the way. I know this one. Get some bottles....go to a place where you have total privacy, brick wall, big rock, whatever is nice and big and hard. Wear glasses , preferably ones that wrap and protect your eyes. Bring broom, dust pan, gloves and sack to pick up pieces after you are done and then commence...

Take a bottle....name it, someone - something - whatever...but whatever upsets you, makes you angry and speak it - name that bottle. Aim and when you throw it - no whimpy throw. Give it all you've got with a gutoral, primal scream from down deep accompanying it....then let it rip.

Keep doing this until you are exhausted.....you'll be sore - count on it.

Then see how the flow is.....

October 28, 2001
3:15 pm
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pill
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This is what my mother used to do... but what about applying it to paint? to welding? what if i let it out and it goes away, then there's nothing to create?

I'm afraid if i lose this... that i will no longer be creative. Does that happen to you?

October 29, 2001
7:05 am
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artist
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Try a little mind control, too. By that I mean, remember who you are first--you are an artist. Artists live and breath art. It is who you are whether you never create another work or not--it is who you are--no one can ever take that away from you. Believe in yourself and remember not to judge the work you do by what others do--that's my problem--my work is never good enough--I always see other's work as better than my own.
Through the years, my art has changed. I can draw, paint, sculpt, make jewelry( right now I am making jewelry and working with polymer clay and beads and wire) and I am working towards building stock for a church bazaar that I've arranged to be in next month while working full time. I finally decided that some day I will do this full time and be able to support myself. The resulting stress that I put myself under could be a large part of my family problems--sometimes I am a megabitch.
Having other commitments(like family) to spend a lot of your energy on can leave you little time or energy for creativity--I know--but again that doesn't change who you are. If you don't have one already, make a space for yourself in your home that is all yours--even if it's just a closet--where you can create and leave your tools out so that you can escape for a minute or two and create or simply sit and reaffirm who you are. I have a "bead room" now and it isthe best thing I ever did for myself. It will make you feel better. If a space isn't possible get yourself a sketch book and what ever tools you need(pencils, pens, watercolors, markers--whatever you want) and work in between doing your normal day to day stuff--like while the kids are napping.
I'm sure you get the idea. The bottom line is--don't despair--being an artist is a talent given to you by God and it doesn't just go away but to be truly happy you need to create. Take heart.
I like Ladeska's idea for getting rid of a blockage--I never tried anything like that before but I just might in the future. Artist.

October 29, 2001
8:27 am
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silence
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CG artist here. And you are approaching this all wrong. At least from my perspective. I can not dictate creativity. Whenever I try to make something happen it never gets further than the conceptual stage. I am only good at what I do when I don't think about how good it'll be.

To make this more simple... I only work well when I don't care about the work I'm doing. Whenever I do a rush job or doodle for five minutes in a graphics program, people look at it and go, "whoa. that's cool." But when I slave all week on something, make it perfect, and think I have created a masterpiece.... Everyone thinks it's crap.

So, if you want to try something different, try not to do anything at all. Does that make sense?

October 29, 2001
10:50 am
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Ladeska
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You guys are so great! Just wanted to say that! Hey, where do you get great support like this anyways?! (GROUP HUG)

October 29, 2001
5:57 pm
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Molly
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Even more hugs from here.
Pill, get the canvas out and just do it. Just like writers block,we just keep typing, and typing, and who the heck knows what comes from it. As I glance over at my Kitchell's looks like he barfed color, so could you do worse, and still call it art, don't get me wrong, love my Kitchell's, or just start welding things together, who knows what you'll get when your done, and heck, can always melt it??

October 29, 2001
6:46 pm
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Ladeska
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Okay.....what you do is.....you dress up like a chicken....and you roll around in paint, all colors....and then just go crazy on a large canvas....throwing your feathered little body at it repeatedly....that oughta work, shouldn't it???

.....dang magic [email protected]#&^@&$!!! stupid, d**'d thing never works right....

October 29, 2001
7:18 pm
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gingerleigh
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Hiya Pill, boy can I relate! I'm a musician in my core, it's so central and precious to me. Perhaps I'm more fortunate than a lot of you visual artists out there because there are more "mainstream" and "group effort" outlets for me to channel a lot of my energy into. In other words, I play in orchestras and bands where I can create music with other people, and the energy of the groups propels me forward when I myself might normally stop. I don't think there is such a parallel in visual arts. (I might be completely wrong here though, I'm just not aware of any.)

But, artist that I am, I don't always want to be led around by the nose by a conductor, and this is where I have always traditionally hit my blocks. What can I play that stands on its own, that is mine that I can share with the world, make an impact?

I'm very slowly getting over this, and it has taken a long time and I'm still not through yet. Like Ladeska says, you have to get through a lot of the blocks and the anger and the insecurity and the *excuses* above all before you can truly create. Rightful anger can be an excellent channelling power to encourage artistic expression, but anger turned inward (i.e. depression) and low self esteem can keep all that artistic wonder bottled up inside. Such a shame!

I personally respond well to "plans" and schedules, so I actually scheduled 20 minutes every day to play my guitar. Not to practice, just to play. And if I even made up 2 chords, well, I consider that creative now, as opposed to how I used to feel whereas I felt that I would have to compose the next Beethoven's 5th in order for it to be worth anything. I chose to play for just 20 minutes, because that is as long as I used to be able to sit still.

So what is your art, Pill? You sketch, yes? What makes those sketches that you do NOT art? Does what you produce have to be huge to be worth something? Do you have to be the next Piccasso to be considered an artist?

And, who says that creativity has to be completely spontaneous, and that you have to do it all in one sitting, and that you can't plan it out? For me in my music, the first "sketch" is inspirational, purely creative, just diddling around. But after that, it's real work, concentration, and structured experimentation, applying music theory rules to the raw artistic matter until I get something that pleases my ear. This could take a week, it might take a year, or it might be completely perfect in my mind in 10 minutes. Half the time it won't please anyone else's ear, and I don't give a damn, because it's art. Art for my sake and that's that. If someone doesn't like it, they can go to the music store and buy a copy of Brittany Spears' latest. Cool by me.

That shift in thinking was another leap of self esteem for me too... dang! so much of life's success and happiness is tied up in those two little words... self esteem...

Hm, maybe I should get into the visual art thing, that sounds fun. Maybe I'll dump out all my wine corks from the canister and dip them each in ink and ink up my walls with them. Or put bubblegum on the ends of each of them and stick them on the cupboards... hey, in Seattle in post alley there is a wall that is completely covered in used chewing gum...

October 29, 2001
8:00 pm
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pill
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Thanks everyone!!! I hope you each find something helpful from this post.

I found making space something that needs doing, and then I'm going to just sit inside if and do nothing!

October 30, 2001
9:03 am
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I think that after you get done painting with your chicken suit that you ought to go cruising the streets wearing it. I can just see the reactions of people on the street to a large multi-colored feathered creature walking among them. Now THAT's art. Later. Artist

October 30, 2001
10:22 am
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Ladeska
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Pill....great idea actually. I use that exercise often and works for me quite a bit. Helps me to reconnect to "me". And helps to "feel" the emptiness of the canvas, that creative space that is just sitting there....staring back at you. Nothing wrong with acknowledging that. I think it's something like the thing of bowing before a dance transpires..... There's the creative space and then there's the creative force. It takes two, does it not?

October 30, 2001
4:19 pm
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pill
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Photos of the painted chicken will be on tour 2/2002... check back later for details.

How about bellydancing around a blank sketch pad? That might conjure up something...

October 30, 2001
4:35 pm
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Ladeska
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SNORT!! yeah, well....not sure WHAT it might conjur up! Last time I did that...hm,m,m...let's see - I think it was Thursday a week ago...and all the flowers in my house died - instantly....the toilet backed up and I think the clothes washer is still on spin....OH, and the radio won't stop playing....Hotel California.

So, I don't know.....could be risky business, but from what I know of lives of famous artists that have come and gone....could be the way to go!!

...OH and I got a pimple, too....BUT sure do feel rather inspired, ya know?

October 30, 2001
6:51 pm
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artist 2
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LOL!!!!!

October 31, 2001
8:13 am
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At least we all still have our ears(don't we?)

Maybe the washer is possessed and just needs a sacrifice so throw in some dirty laundry and see if that doesn't calm it down.

I accidentally killed an avocado plant in 1971 and I have been blackballed by anything plantlike --nothing will grow in my house(that could have something to do with the cat peeing in the pots) BUT I think I have a potential X-file going. Those plant people are a touchy lot so don't take it personally.

Toilet backed up--what have you been eating lately?--just kidding.

There are a lot of worse musical choices that an overvocal radio could play so consider yourself lucky.

As far as zits go--I've never thought it was fair that a person should get wrinkles ant zits at the same time. WHAT is THAT about???

Later. Artist.

October 31, 2001
10:51 am
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Ladeska
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SNORT! Oops, just sucked down a cheerio the wrong way! I don't know about that zit / wrinkle thing....good question.

And now we know the rest of the story with you......the plant people.....yep, you're being watched.....cat is in on it, too. Better check the cat box, poops are probably bugged.

So, how is everyone's creativity today? Blocked, plugged, budding, exploding, what?? And I expect a "Signed" copy of whatever is produced by all this!!! btw.....

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