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Precious
September 20, 2008
4:51 pm
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CrazyPink
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You sounded very upset yesterday. I hope you are allright hun! I didn't hear anything from you for the rest of the night, so I hope you had plans or got some rest. Please check in!

September 20, 2008
4:59 pm
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sad about it
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Hey Precious--Hope you are well. Crazy Pink just posted on the no contact thread and is having a tough day.

September 20, 2008
6:04 pm
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suzieQ_85
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dear precious, what happened yesterday??? i cant find your posts anywhere!!
and pink, how r you holding up?

September 20, 2008
6:04 pm
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suzieQ_85
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dear precious, what happened yesterday??? i cant find your posts anywhere!!
and pink, how r you holding up?

September 20, 2008
11:55 pm
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CrazyPink
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Precious-

Where are you? I'm thinking and worried about you!

September 21, 2008
1:47 am
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lostagain27
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(((Precious)))

How r u? I am worried about you too. I hope you are okay.
The Dawgs won tonight WAhoo!!!
Also Roll tide!!! We kicked some major Razor butt tonight.
But next week we will have to play each other. Sniff Sniff! I am very afraid.

Hopefully your absense means you ahve gone home and are just traveling!!!

Thinking of you

Lost

September 21, 2008
12:45 pm
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PreciousG
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(((Pink, Suzie, Sad, & Lost))))

Thank you everyone, your consern means more than you know. Thank you!!

I am better today. Friay was beyond rough.

Yesterday I went to my Brother-in-laws birhtday party and watched football all day. It was nice. I really didn't want to go. It tough at first but got better as the day went on. Then we cme home to watch the UGA vs AS game. WHAT A GAME! GO DAWGS! Oh and ROLL TIDE ROLL! Yeah ya'll kicked some Razor Back butt!

I will be driving home tomorrow. This time Llost I relly am going. I have a to get to life and take of bussiness. I have been awawy far to long.

Suzie, I posted on Pink's thread "going nuts" and Lost's thread Friday night and alone. I am so gald that you are staying true to you and caring for yourself and having no contact. I know how hard it is. When we care for ourselves and begin to unravel this mess it will get beter.

Thank again everyone. You all are wonderful. It feels nice to missed.

Precious

September 21, 2008
12:55 pm
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lostagain27
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(((Precious)))

So glad to see you on here!!!
I am glad you went to the birthday party and watched your Dawgs win yesterday!

Why are you having such rough days hun?

September 21, 2008
1:14 pm
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PreciousG
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Hi Lost,

I am not certain what triggered me on Friday. I was having a rough week and by Friday I just feel tp pieces. And honestly I have been trying not think to hasrd about it. I want to wait and discuss this with my therapist. It is just some really raw ugly pain and that I do not think I handle on my own.

I am with my sister and she is great. I like being here but when it comes to this she just doesn't get it. She thinks that I need tp stop talking about him as do my neices. They got mad at me one day for saying something about him and my neice said shut-up why are you even talking about him and my sisiter said you really have to stop talking about him and realately everything bacl to him. I said, HELLO, I was with the guy for 14 years! Yet she wonders why I don't talk to her and "withhold" (her word) information from her. I said wonder no more. I have a counselor to talk to about this and just smiled and started talking about something else. Anyway, I guess i say all that to vent and to say that I am looking forward to going home.

Lost, sorry that you are having a lonely day. I understand. Sundays are particularly rough for me. FOr some reason Sundays are always the loneiest. YUCK!!!!

Thank you for listening Lost. You being here realy makes a huge difference for me. I can't tell you how much I have enjoyed getting to know you and how trruly greatfu I am to have you talk to you. You Rock Lost!!!

Precious

September 21, 2008
1:37 pm
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lostagain27
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I am sorry that Friday was really hard for you and I agree you need to share what you experienced and all that pain with your therapist and hopefull she can get you through it.

I know your sister and your neices telling you to stop talking about him and not understanding has to be hard. I think they mean well by it. They may be saying if you don't talk about it you will move on from it but they have to understand that yes you were with him 14 years so it is very new for you to be without him and you are hurt, sad and lonely. I think you should talk about him if it makes you feel better.
I know my family does the same thing and it hurts b/c they don't get it but i think they mean well in there own little way.

I hope you have a safe trip back home tomorrow and will be glad to be back there!

Hang in there! I'm rooting for you and hope you have a better day!

(((Precious)))

September 21, 2008
3:16 pm
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CrazyPink
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Precious-

I am glad to read that you posted! I am glad you are back today!

Is today any easier / better?

My family is the same way, where they get mad if I mention his name. Actually, at my niece's party yesterday, I was sitting there and my dad sat across from me. I didn't even say anything and my dad blurted you need to "get the fuck over it, take some get over it pills!" I was like wow, cool, and thank you. I just sat there in silence until he left.

Hope your day today is better.

September 21, 2008
4:32 pm
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PreciousG
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Hi Pink,

Thank you you for caring and noticing I was gone.

Yeah the family can be such a source of comfort and yet so unsupportive. amazing. I know that they don't get. hell I don't get it. But to yell at me and get angry that sure aint going to help. It pushes me further away. I also realize that I have been dealing with this mess for along time and leaning on them. However, I had stopped talking to my sister cuz I got tired of bothering her. I mean she didn't say anything or doing anything I just realized that I needed to stop talking to her cuz maybe it was getting to be to much. It's like a catch 22.

Ah well. I am tired. I am tired of thinking. just want to be still and quiet with happy relaxing thoughts. 🙂

((((pink)))

Precious

September 21, 2008
4:33 pm
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CrazyPink
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Same here! 🙂

September 21, 2008
9:53 pm
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lostagain27
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(((Precious)))

Jsut wanted to wish you a safe trip home and a better day tomorrow!

Lost

September 21, 2008
11:13 pm
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PreciousG
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Thank you Lost. I hope you have good day at work! Talk to later.

Precious

September 25, 2008
1:46 pm
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PreciousG
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Bumping for Long.

September 25, 2008
6:40 pm
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PreciousG
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Bunping again!

September 26, 2008
7:13 am
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Longshot
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Aha-there you are! Now I know where to find you. Boy did I make that hard:) I missed getting to visit with you:)
Ok, it is very early in the a.m. and today is going to be a crazy busy day... oldest playing football tonight-woo hoo!!

(((Precious)))

September 26, 2008
1:17 pm
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PreciousG
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((((Long)))

Woo Hooo!!! I hope he wins! Go Team!!!

I have a good day enjoy the game!

Precious

Remember to breath!

September 26, 2008
5:42 pm
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Longshot
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Hi Precious,

I've been thinking about what you posted and how your sister is reacting. (I'm thinking I must be a few years older than you...) Anyway, I say that because my sister and I have gone through the same thing a few times. We're finally (in our 40's!!) at a place where we have both accepted each other for who the other one is. It's very peaceful now. (We had much turbulence in years past!-bleh)

I don't want to start rambling...I do that:)

Have a great weekend!!

September 27, 2008
5:23 pm
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PreciousG
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(((((LOng))))

How goes it? How did the football game go? Did ya win?

Well, i just turned 40. My sister and I are really close. It hasn't always been that way though. I am the youngest and there is a sibling between us. She is 11 years older than I. She really didn;t like me unitl I was 13 or so. We have been close ever since. But I think what has happened is that we are both co-dependent. I have a tough time admitting that but I know that she is and also has very deep abandoment issues. So I am in a way changing the rules of the relationship and I think that she is feeling threatned. I get that. However, I am perhaps not as sensotive as I should be at this time because I am dealing with so much. Yet she really hurt me when she jumped me like that.

Anyway. You can ramble all you want. I think sometimes when ramble is when we have our best breakthroughs/insights if you will.

Also, I would like for you to stop apologizesing so much. If I may be so bold. You are welcome on any of my threads and feel free to say whatever you need to and if I do not understand what you are asking or saying I will ask. By the way I think that you are an excellent writer and express yourself very well. I have enjoyed reading your posts and seek them out as a matter of fact. You seem to be a deep thinker and very insightful.

I hope that you are having great day. Look forward to visiting with you soon.

Precious

September 29, 2008
10:32 am
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Longshot
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Thank you Precious. Yes, you can be so bold-you're not attacking me:) You know my sister and I were discussing not apologizing so much... and you're right. (Some of it stems from my first threads...bleh!!)

It makes me smile to read your comment that I'm a thinker. Talk about hitting the nail on the head:)

Anyway, I just want to jump up and hug you!! Long long story shortened hehehe, after I saw my codependency...it didn't take a rocket scientist to see it in my mom. We were talking one night and I was talking in terms of MY issues, and she said what was I reading or what books should she read. (She will NOT go to a counselor/therapist.) So I suggested The Language of Letting Go and Codependent No More and to read Language first.

A week or so later my sister was at my moms house (I had briefly mentioned to her what I found in myself) and she picked up the Codependent book, and started glancing through it. She called and said OMG I'm all of this!! We laughed and cried together at the whole situation. So I bought the book for her as a gift and we're both trying to read it. (I say that because I'm about 2/3 through it and haven't found the strength for the last month to pick it up and read again...)

Anyway, how open would your sister be to maybe just The Language of Letting Go at first or anything like that?? (I know lots of people are soooooo defensive about these kinds of things!!) This website that I've copied here has a thought for the day taken from the Language of Letting Go, today's message is in reference to money. There are a wide variety of subjects from day to day.

http://www.hazelden.org/web/pu.....catId=1904

(((((Precious)))))

September 29, 2008
9:31 pm
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lostagain27
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Precious I hope you have a safe trip home tomorrow!!!

(((Precious)))

September 30, 2008
10:57 am
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Randomwomen2
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(((Precious)))

September 30, 2008
10:23 pm
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lostagain27
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Precious I was just thinking of you and wanted to see if you had made it home okay! I hope so. How are you doing?

Lost

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