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Prayer Request - Just learned my Mom has cancer again
July 15, 2005
11:06 am
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bel
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Hello Angel, I will keep your mother in my prayers. Your mom sounds a bit like mine. She treats me okay when were one on one but if others are around she treats me very bad. I was the middle child and for some reason she took out her frustrations on me. But like you said that was in the past although her meaness is present at times we need to let it go. I know also she will never change so I make do with how she is and try not to let myself get hurt again. She is sickly lately and she needs alot of encouragement and support and my sisters and myself are always therer for her. I value the time I have with her because you never know when it will be the last.

Bel

July 20, 2005
12:37 pm
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angel4U
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UPDATE: (To view all posts, click on "View all Posts" at the top of AAC page)

Thank you all so much again for your warmth, kindness and prayers. They mean so much to me and my family.

We did sadly get solid confirmation last Friday that mom does have small cell cancer again (her oncologist said he was sure 2 weeks ago, but then ran her through a series of tests and a surgical biopsy to be totally certain and to find out what type). The cancer is in her lymph nodes in her chest area and in the adrenal gland by one of her kidneys. She started chemo this morning. Her treatment plan is that she goes for 3 days in a row (today, tomorrow and Friday), is off for 3 weeks, and does a 2nd round of 3-day treatment on August 10-12. After that, her oncologist will do a CAT scan to determine her progress and decide what direction to go in next. Her Dr. said that she unfortunately is not able to have radiation this time because she had it once before in the same area (20 years ago).

I am doing pretty well and am just trying to stay positive and do what I can, and praying LOTS! The family dynamics are difficult at times (especially with my younger sister, who definitely has a problem with control & anger), so I have been working through them and taking a step back, too, when I need to.

Please keep the prayers coming!!

bel - I am really sorry to hear about your mom, and will also pray for all of you. It was the same for me growing up (scapegoat all the way), but I disconnected from it a long time ago and won't let it happen anymore. This last year has also been a GREAT learning process (although it felt like a nightmare of a struggle going through it ;), and I think it has really helped me to work through my mom's situtation and the family dynamics with a much stronger head & heart ... =)

Thank you again all. I will keep you posted as we receive more news.

Many blessings,

angel4u

July 20, 2005
1:05 pm
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on my way
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angel, prayers going up for your mom, you and your family. keep us posted ok?

love,
omw

July 20, 2005
1:06 pm
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angel4U
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will do, OMW, and THANK YOU!!!

July 20, 2005
1:51 pm
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kathygy
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angel, I will keep your mother, you and your family in my prayers and thoughts. I have lost both of my parents and know how difficult it is to see a loved one suffer and be helpless about it.

love,
kathy

July 22, 2005
11:28 am
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jastypes
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Angel, prayers continue for your family. I'm afraid the news on my mother isn't good either. She heard from Dr. H, who said he wants her to see another doctor for a consultation. The other doctor, would probably do the surgery although Dr. H will be there, but Dr. H told Mom that he wanted her to have the best.

Dr. H had mentioned in Monday's appointment that he was concerned that the cancer (which he is convinced it is) may have penetrated close to the outer membrane of the uterus (serosal membrane?) and that it might be friable, meaning it could break easily and that, of course, could cause all kinds of problems -- bleeding, spilling of fluid into the abdominal cavity. I guess his concern was more than CYA, so he's calling this doctor in. So Dr. R's office will call Mom today to set up an appointment for early next week and we'll go from there. Dr. H still wants to have the surgery done ASAP.

Mom's upset, scared and in pain, particularly when she's sitting or lying down. It's probably the uterus putting pressure on other organs, etc

November 12, 2005
6:45 am
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angel4U
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Hi All!

Gosh, I had not realized how long it has been since I have written (over 3 months!) ... seems like just yesterday that I was talking to you all. Probably because you are all always in my thoughts & prayers, wherever I go ... =))

I did want to check in to give you the update on mom, and my life in general. I'll do this in 2 posts to make it easier to read ...

Aug 31 Update:

We finally received some very "positive" information from mom's oncologist today - all mom's cancer masses are shrinking!! The largest was 4 centimeters back on June 29th, and now is down to 1 centimeter, so the chemo is working!!!

Mom has been holding up pretty well. She gets tired alot and is sometimes depressed, but she's hanging in there and making sure she eats right, etc. The Dr. discovered through blood tests that she has become anemic (chemo has a tendency to cause this), which could be causing much of her tiredness. She is scheduled to get some blood tranfusions starting tomorrow to help build her red blood cells up, and we are hoping this helps.

Added note - Last month I got a hold of my mom's previous oncologist (he now works in Oregon), because my mom wanted reassurance that they have her on the correct program. He remembered my mom (as I mentioned earlier, he considered her his miracle patient) and reassured us that she is in the best hands with the Dr. she has at Rush now. This eased mom's worries and lifted her spirits alot.

Thank you all again for all of the prayers and wonderful suggestions. I'll keep you posted as we hear more.

Many Blessings & Prayers coming back atcha,

November 12, 2005
6:54 am
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mystified
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I pray and hope that your mum gets better real soon.

My mum just recovered from larynx cancer.

Good luck & my thoughts are with you and your family,

B strong Mystie

November 12, 2005
7:49 am
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angel4U
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(Forgot to mention to click on "View All Posts" to see all posts in this thread)

Latest Update:

Life did take a little bit of a turn when mom got sick back at the end of June, and it's been a little tough at times trying to balance both my time and emotions. The thought about her possibly dying was heart wrenching and overwhelming for me at times.

We also had a big scare with my Dad recently, who ended falling and breaking his hip, causing him to need surgery. He was not in the best of health when it happened (has emphysema and needs oxygen to keep his levels up). Because of this and also because he was on blood thinners for mini strokes he had had, they had to cancel his surgery twice before they finally went through with it 2 weeks ago. They had wanted to use a spinal instead of anesthesia because of his lung problems, but the risk to this was that he could end up bleeding too much where they put the spinal in because of the blood thinners and could end up paralyzed. And if they gave him the anesthesia, they would also have had to insert a balloon in his lungs to help him breath. The risk here was his lungs would end up failing and he would end up living on a respiratory system the rest of his life.

The positive to all of this are that both of them are hanging in there.

We got the 2nd CAT scan results about my mom's condition on Oct 31 and learned that although over the last 2 months her cancer cells have not shrunk too much from the last scan on 8/31, they also have not grown. Her Dr. (who is the Director of Oncology at Rush Hospital in Chicago and very well re guarded) said that although she is not out of the woods (and really never will be totally), that he considers her "somewhat in remission" (too soon I guess to call it remission yet). He would have given her radiation at this point, but can't because she already had radiation in the same area 20 years ago. He is giving her a break from the chemo right now and going to "watch" her closely for the next couple of months (blood test next month, CAT scan in 2 months), and if need be will put her back on chemo (possibly another kind). Of course mom is still scared (as am I), but I have shared with her (and always remind myself too) that any of us can go at any moment. And with that should remind ourselves every morning when we open our eyes to thank God for the new day and ask Him to guide us to what we are to be doing with the precious gift. I do this often and it's what keeps me going ... and it helps keep me from allowing too much negative thinking to set in.

As far as Dad, he had his surgery and is now in rehab and doing fairly well too. He will be staying with me starting next week sometime for awhile (~4-6 weeks) while he goes thru therapy and until he is able to do more for himself. He had been stressing that he wanted to go to his home, and I don't blame him as he will have been in the hospital for about 5 weeks by that time ... YUK!) ... And even presented the idea that I stay there instead ... but I stood my ground in a calm way and said that I would prefer to be in my own home, too, as I also have a life and responsibilities to care for. He understood and was ok with it all.

Needless to say that it has been one heck of a time around here. The hardest part has been entering back into the "crazy" family dynamics (especially with my mom and sister - who has been a real trip and a half!). I have been feeling like the parent to both my parents lately, and am finding it is because they can't rely on my brother or sister for help, even during these tragic times they both have been going through.

This has been very hard to go through, and I truly felt I had no support (aside from some wonderful friends - and I sooo thank God for them!) ... at the same time it has been a learning experience and I am holding up pretty good considering. The keys for me have been "balance - which hasn't been easy!", "acceptance", "speaking up when I need to", "asking for help", "beig able to say no when I can't do something", and "walking away from mistreatment and not allowing myself to get pulled into the craziness of others". I will share my experiences and how I handled them in a follow up post as soon as I have more time.

Again, I want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for your prayers and support! As I shared previously, even though I have not been on AAC, you really have been with me in spirit and have helped me stay strong and get through this!! My time is unfortunately still limited these days, but I will try to check in when I can.

I hope all of you are doing well, and please know you are always in my thoughts & prayers!

jastypes and bel - please know that your mom's are also still in my prayers!!!! I hope they are doing ok.

Some special hugs going out to those I know most ...

(((((Ef, Coda_Mom, Raz, OMW, sew, mama, AW, jigs, bonita, Y&R, WD, SD, bel, jastypes, kathygy ... and the list goes on!))))))

love, angel4U

November 12, 2005
7:54 am
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angel4U
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Thank you Mystie, and many prayers going out to your mom and your family! I am glad to see she is doing well!

angel4U

November 12, 2005
8:09 am
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mamacinnamon
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Hi angel4U:

Sorry to hear about your mom hon, and your dad.

Sounds like you have your head on straight; have a plan; sticking to it. Doin good. And most importantly is what you said about bein grateful for each day God has given you. I think that is the key to life in general.

Keep HIM first and don't forget to lean on him whenever you need to. We are also here for you. Prayers, thoughts, well-wishes are all being sent your way.

Good to see you again. 🙂

November 12, 2005
8:37 am
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angel4U
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((((((((((mama)))))))))))

I'll say a big AMEN to that!!! .. =))

Thank you, and I hope yuo are doing well, my friend!

Many hugs & blessings comin' atcha!

angel4U

November 12, 2005
8:46 am
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Rasputin
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(((((Angel4u)))))))

Thrilled to see you again honey after a long time!!! I miss you so, and I also miss the wonderful posts and advice you've been giving me and others.

I will surely continue to pray for your dear mom steadfastly. I also believe in miracles and very glad the doctor said so about your mom's disease.

Please keep us updated and even though you have busy schedule keep in touch!

((((Hugs & Prayers))))

November 12, 2005
9:02 am
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angel4U
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(((((((((((RAZ)))))))))))

I miss you too, sweety, and all of your wonderful and uplifting words of wisdom!!! Many of which have been helping me get through this all!

My motto these days has been "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger!" ... and I feel about this time that I could lift 1000 tons! .. LOL!!!

Keep smilin', girl, and I truly hope all is well with you! You are a strong spirit, and I know you will be ok no matter what ends up in your path.

((((hugs))))

angel4U

November 12, 2005
9:33 am
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(((((angel))))), so nice to see you! And so great about your mothers progress. I really fear the day my father becomes sick and I have to face that dysfunctional family "structure", but you seem to be holding up very well, I suppose when you work on you other peoples issues are not so hard to deal with bit by bit!

You seem in excelent spirits and I am so glad...funny, just three days ago I went back to some old posts from that very dark time for me when I first came here, and I felt warmed to the soul to recal your kind words when I needed them most! Ah, the wonderful big sister I always wish I'd had! ((((hugs)))) and much love to you Angel!
Love, Exoticflower

November 12, 2005
12:37 pm
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Nevermore
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Angel4U,

I admire your strength and I can relate. My mother also has cancer- she was just diagnosed in September with non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. My Dad is an alcoholic who went off the dep end when my Mom became sick- he was hospitalized for alcohol poisoning and when he had a bad fall while intoxicated and injured his head. I am the only child here- my brother took off to Germany (Army) and keeps extending to stay away from the drama, despite the fact that he has two small children that live nearby. He has a new German fiancee and does not plan on coming back. I am a single parent of 2 teens with no help from their father, and am trying to leave a horribly abusive boyfriend. Thus, I'm taking it day by day. I pray that God helps me to accept the things that I cannot control and that he helps me to maintain a healthy balance in my life. It's so hard for me to say No to people- I an trying to regain control of my life instead of feeling powerless and just futilly rushing to please everyone. Sometimes it feels like I have nothing left to give because there's no more of me left. I'll pray for you- please pray for me. Sometimes I get so resentful because I've never been taken care of- I get so tired of taking care of others. But, the positive side is that the abuse has led to depression, which led to counseling, which opened my eyes to the self-defeating patterns.

Thank you!

November 12, 2005
1:23 pm
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((((angel4)))
Thanks for the update, so many of us here Love and do send up well wishes, kindest regards and love for you atthis terribly hard time!!!
You sure are a trooper!!! My mom is still physically "ok" but i know that my beingthe only child will be hard when ((IF)) somethingever really happens to hwer, although she's got a total of 18 brothers and sisters, it's really just been the two of us for our whole lives. so I can really relate to dysfunctional family dynamics playing such a role especially in stressful times.
Always in my thoughts,
Love,
AW ((((hugs)))

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