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practically had a nervous breakdown today--loverbee
July 25, 2006
3:40 pm
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loverbee
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ok, so between school which is so hard and the whole courtdate thing as well as trying to figure out how to get my bf's best friend out here as his birthday present, I lost it today. I didn't cry, I just went into F*** it mode. I was talking to my bf and all I could think and say was "I am f***ed and I have accepted the fact that I will never be happy." I felt inferior to everyone and just so nervous and scared and overwhelmed and pressured. I have never really felt that way. To top it all off, I have lost about ten pounds in the last month which is fantastic but unfortunately I am stuck in a way. I can't seem to lose the weight off my face. IT is so hard so if anyone has any suggestions, I am open to anything. I would love a confidence booster and if I could lose the weight off my face that would be great. It is something I am so self concious of. I hope this feeling passes.

July 25, 2006
4:02 pm
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lightchaser
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((((loverbee)))) Yep, we all have those days. I had one yesterday where I freaked out all over these boards and in a longwinded e-mail to my new guy, and to my ex and everyone else who would listen. Sometimes life is just too much for me and I go bezerk, but than I am okay, yet embarrassed about all the things I did and said to everybody.

I don't have any advice to give accept that you are not alone, we all do it once and a while!

ABout losing weight, I struggle with that one too. I think the weight will come off when you take good care of yourself physically and exercise and stuff. That always works for be, but sometimes I am just too overwhelmed.

I hope you are doing better today.

July 25, 2006
4:21 pm
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loverbee
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Doing slightly better but the thing about the weight, the most frustrating part is that it is coming off very nicely, just not off my face. I have lost about fifteen pounds total in the last two months but it is just stuck on my face. I have always had such a great jawline and now it seems I can't get it back. Its quite frustrating.

July 25, 2006
4:30 pm
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lightchaser
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I know what you mean, it seems like our problem areas are the hardest to get off. Do you exercise? Sometimes when I am stressed, my face puffs out. you got to find some way to relieve that stress and anxiety you are dealing with:)

July 25, 2006
5:30 pm
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loving myself
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I found that letting go of all the extra clutter in my life has allowed me to let go of the fat on my body. The act of holding and surrounding myself with clutter was a way to insulate myself from my feelings.

July 25, 2006
6:45 pm
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Anonymous
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if it helps, better have some fat than wrinkles in your face... I get the fat on my face too and at 46 Im happy its not wrinkles. Im down in the dumps so Im not eating but when I do the fat goes right to my upper arm, like: why doeesnt food stick directly there but go through metabolism first?

July 25, 2006
8:21 pm
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loverbee
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Well here is the thing, I eat about six very small meals a day to make sure my metabolism stays fast and I also do thirty minutes on the eliptical machine every day and 30 crunches in four different positions, as well as 20 push ups, weights for my arms, a set of 30 reps with 2 pound weights (any more than that and I bulk up and get too muscley) and I try really hard to excercise the muscles in my face. It has been working, just sometimes when I feel really out of control, I get really frantic and obsess over one part of my body. As of right now I am 110 and I am 5'3"

July 25, 2006
8:33 pm
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lightchaser
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oh honey, I bet you are looking great!!! We are our own worst critics. Remember that other people don't scrutinize your appearance the way you do your own.

YOu are beautiful!

July 25, 2006
10:39 pm
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loverbee
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My bf and I talked tonight and he said the only thing that has ever made me even remotely unattractive was when I was trying to be something I am not. I was dying my hair bleach blond and trying to become tan and all this stuff. He said that his favorite qualities about me were the fact that he has never seen hair my color and the pale skin makes me look like nicole kidman. Well recently I went back to the natural color and washed off the self tanner. I am feeling a little better since we talked and I guess I just need to stay positive.

July 25, 2006
10:51 pm
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Anonymous
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You will look beautiful if dont turn off the glow from feeling good! I know a young lady who is pale, got freckles and red hair. Totally out of the stereotype around here. Yet her hair shines and shes so nice shes turning into a beautiful woman. Know that some women would die for what youve got!

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