Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In
Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
The forums are currently locked and only available for read only access
sp_TopicIcon
Post Partum Depression after Tubal?
August 9, 2006
1:35 pm
Avatar
ScaredinMichigan
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 5
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Has anyone gone through this? Or is it just me that is losing my mind after having my tubes tied? I feel like a major part of my life was taken from me, or that I gave it up, however you want to look at it. I didn't really want any more babies, I never wanted to be pregnant again, but it is killing me to know that it isn't even an option for me anymore. Please help. I go back to the OB on friday to discuss this, along with a couple of other things, but this is killing me. I can't sleep, I don't want to eat, or anything. The only thing that I want to do is hold my baby and cry. Anyone been there? I am so confused and scared.

ScaredinMichigan

August 9, 2006
1:54 pm
Avatar
risingfromtheashes
st regis falls, ny
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 14
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

could be postpartum mixed with the realization of how "final" getting your tubes tied is.

many go thru regrets of having tubes tied, especially if they are young or want to have more, but know they can't.

it's like taking your freedom away.

and it's a HUGE decision....some people are ready for it, some not.

I would venture to guess that standard postpartum is adding to the stress.

talk to doc and perhaps doc can alleviate some of your concerns.

and know that IF you want to have another one, there ARE options...not always easy ones, but tubal ligation isn't always the end of babymaking.

August 9, 2006
2:56 pm
Avatar
Randomwomen2
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 9
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey sweetheart after this baby is born im going to have a tubal. I have been really worried about post partum depression because i know its going to be my last baby. My body just cant handle anymore. Not with as sick as I have been. Many hugs to you sweetheart.

August 9, 2006
3:18 pm
Avatar
readyforachange
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 6
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

(((scared))) Honey, your hormones and stress level are probably a mess. I would take it slow, take care of yourself, focus on your beautiful baby boy, and let time get things back to normal. Hang in there, I'll be praying for you. (((scared))) Give Austin a hug and a kiss for me 🙂

August 9, 2006
5:13 pm
Avatar
jastypes
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Actually, the reason for post-partum depression comes from hormone depletion after giving birth. You're on sort of a hormone high during pregnancy. A tubal ligation doesn't come with hormonal changes. That being said, I think the depression, while not hormonally based, is real, and based on emotions that you are experiencing. Definitely talk to your doctor about it.

August 9, 2006
5:54 pm
Avatar
whidbey
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

If you had a general anesthesia, that could be added into the mix as well. Most people will go through a short-term depression immediately following a surgery.

August 9, 2006
6:05 pm
Avatar
ScaredinMichigan
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 5
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

They won't do general anestesia directly after childbirth here. I was awake. I felt like evreything that I loved about life was being ripped out of my body. I cried through the whole thing. The anestesiologist was wiping tears from my eyes because my hands were strapped down. I knew half way through that this would be one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I look at this precious baby boy, so content, so good natured, so beautiful, and know that I can NEVER have another one. It is killing me. I loved having babies. I love being a mom. And I hate that this part of my life is over. I felt like (hoping not to offend anyone here with this analogy)I was having an abortion without a baby in there. I was taking away the right for me to bring new life into this world. If God wanted me to be done he wouldn't allow me to have more, I took away that chance, I took this choice into my own hands, and I feel like a mess for doing so. This is killing me. I want to go back, I want it undone.

Scared

August 9, 2006
6:23 pm
Avatar
readyforachange
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 6
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

(((scared))) Oh, honey...I feel the pain in your post. I am so sorry you had to go through this they way that you did. It must have been very emotional, and it had a deep impact on you. I think writing about how it felt, and how you feel about the decision you made is a good beginning toward healing. You are a wonderful mom...from what I remember Austin is your fourth child, right? And at least one of your children has some serious medical problems?

I made the decision after my second child to never get pregnant again. I was on birth control for almost 12 years until my divorce was final. It is a difficult decision, but you must do what is best for you...

I will keep you in my prayers. I know that much of this may be attributable to "baby blues"...your hormones are a mess right now. Talk to your doctor, and take care of yourself. Do you have help with the baby? Someone to talk to? Make sure you are doing everything you can to keep your stress level to a minimum..and take it easy. (((scared)))

August 9, 2006
6:32 pm
Avatar
ScaredinMichigan
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 5
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks Ready, It means a lot to me. Yes, My daughter does have some meidcal issues,and this is my fourth. Please keep me in your prayers.

Mandy

August 9, 2006
6:40 pm
Avatar
readyforachange
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 6
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I definitely will keep you in my prayers...I wish you peace (((scared)))

August 10, 2006
12:24 am
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Scared,
Call me tomorrow after 6 your time at my mom's....Tyler is here,and we'll be over there visiting...need to talk?I did not realize you felt this way....and I am worried about you.
Love you,P.O'd

August 10, 2006
10:28 am
Avatar
jastypes
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I'm sorry. I didn't realize that you had the tubal right after giving birth. You could DEFINITELY be suffering from post-partum depression and I suggest telling your doctor IMMEDIATELY. I had PPD so, so badly that I nearly hurt myself and my children. If your ob/gyn is not helpful (mine wasn't), please see an endocrinologist.

I wanted to get a tubal ligation after my 4th child, but my doctor at the time talked me out of it. He said one of the reasons he doesn't do them at that time is because after childbirth the body has an ability to heal itself and sometimes the tubal ligations do not take because of that.

August 14, 2006
10:25 am
Avatar
ScaredinMichigan
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 5
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Well, I went to the doctor on friday. They put me back on zoloft to see if that will help at all. I have to have an ultrasound Wedenesday to see what is causing some pain that I am having in my left side. They think that it is probably related to my tubal. I am scared to death that they will tell me that I have to have a hystorectomy. Having my tubes tied has hurt me enough, but I know that it can be reversed. However, a hystorectomy would end any chance that I ever had of having another baby. Please pray about this. I am scared to death. I am not handling all of this very well. I wish I could go back two weeks in my life, I would have never had my tubes tied. I feel like I am literally going crazy. Sorry for venting, just losing my mind.

August 14, 2006
11:16 am
Avatar
thumkin
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Vent all you need to and more. I have been exactly where you are. I was sooo depressed for months knowing I would never have another baby. I held my new baby afraid that something would happen to her and she was my last one. Irrational thoughts. I cried and slept and took care of my baby. I didnt take very good care of my other girls. I hated myself for having the surgery. I hated my husband for making me have the surgery. My baby is five years old now. I know I dont need a baby. But every period I have brings a sort of depression with it. I prayed for soo long that the doctor made a mistake, because I knew I made a mistake. Please get all the help you need. Talk to a counselor or someone too. I hope that with help your depression does not last as long as mine has. My baby is 5 now. Things are sooo much better than they were but I still get depressed every month when I start a period because that reminds me no more babies. That too is irrational because I am in no shape for another child but the thoughts are there all the same.

August 14, 2006
12:07 pm
Avatar
ScaredinMichigan
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 5
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thumkin,

I knew that I didn't want any more babies, I made this decision when I was of sound mind. But I look at it like this. I know that I want a million dollars too, but, I would still react differently to wanting it than actually having it in my hand. My husband asked me several times while I was waiting to go into surgery if I was sure that this is what I wanted. I kept saying yes, when the voice in the back of my head is screaming no. I knew that if I didn't do it then, that I never would. I was too scared of that. I never wanted to be pregnant again, I know that with my placenta separating that is was likely that it would happen again. I was scared to death of that. I have four beautiful children, of which at least the first three have all had health issues of one form or another, from minor to major. I can't blame my husband that I did this. He asked me several times. I still believed that I was doing the right thing. Now, I know otherwise. He has told me that even if the time comes that I do blame him, he is ok with that, he just wants me to tell him. I know that financially we cannot afford another baby. We could not afford this one. Don't get me wrong, he will go without nothing. My kids have all they need and then some, but it still isn't always easy. I am deathly afraid that my baby will die, that something will happen to him, I can't explain it too. I really don't want anyone else to hold him, including my husband sometimes, I am so screwed up. I am afraid of losing him and knowing that I could never have another one. I know that he could never be replaced, he is so sweet and good natured but that stuff does go through my head. I go to bed with my husband at night, but the first time that the baby wakes up at night which is usually about 2 hours after we go to bed, I take him and go out on the couch and sleep with him. I want time with just him. I am so screwed up. I was scared of my two other little ones both starting school this year, and now I am almost looking forward to it, so I can have time with just him. I am afraid that I am going to make my other kids hate me or him. They are being taken care of, but not probably like they should be. I don't know how to let this go. I have become so consumed by having my tubes tied that I cannot even explain it. I am being ridiculous.

Scared

August 14, 2006
2:31 pm
Avatar
readyforachange
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 6
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

(((scared))) I am praying for you...I know this is a very difficult time for you. You are not being ridiculous, and your feelings are just that...yours. They are valid because you are feeling them. You don't have to apologize for your feelings, or rationalize them to anyone. Voicing how you feel is a way to work through things you are struggling with, and you have many things causing you struggles right now.

While I don't have any easy answers for you, I will pray that you find peace in this situation. (((scared)))

August 14, 2006
2:35 pm
Avatar
thumkin
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I know exactly how you feel. I am glad you dont blame your husband because that makes it even harder. Our stories are so close to the same it is unreal to hear that someone else has felt and done the same thing. I know I did not need anymore children. The last one was a very scary delivery, so health was it was probably best, we could not afford another child, they did not go without but another baby may have made it that way, our marraige was shaky to say the least, I was getting older. There were a ton of reasons why I did not need another child, but something about having my tubes tied felt like they took a way a part of me. All of these feelings you are having are why I am encouraging you to get counseling and such. I love all of my girls more than words could ever describe, but I swear I did sleep with that baby, eat, etc. it was like I lived only for her and if something would happen to her my life would be over. Rationally I would feel that way if anything happened to any of my children, but the depression I was in would not let me see past the baby and the fact that she was the last one I would ever have.

August 14, 2006
4:39 pm
Avatar
ScaredinMichigan
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 5
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thumkin-

That is exactly where I am. I love all four of my children with all that I have in me. I would die if anything happened to any one of them, yet, I feel so attached to the baby that there is nothing that I can even say to describe the way that I feel. Maybe obsessive, as opposed to possessive. That baby is my everything. I cannot even describe it. I love him, and I want to hold him all of the time. I want to sleep near him, and I want him to myself. Like when we go to church or a softball game or whatever, I carry him, my husband won't even try to get him out of the van anymore. I don't want to take away his right to enjoy his last baby either though. And I just don't want my other three kids to learn to hate him or I either one. It is so much easier to love on a baby though. They are so innocent, and they love so unconditionally, I want to go right in all the places that I went wrong with the other ones. He is my last chance to do this right. I am afraid that I will fail him, so I just spend all of my time loving him. I am scared of never having another baby. I guess that is the only way that I can explain it. Taking away my right to do so has destroyed me in ways that I cannot explain, and I am afraid of who it has made me.

Ready-

Thank you for all of your love, care and support. You mean a lot to me. You are one the most supportive people that I have met on this sight be it in this thread, or my diary or whatever. Thank you for being you. Your continued support means the world to me.

Scared

August 14, 2006
10:51 pm
Avatar
ScaredinMichigan
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 5
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thumkin....

At your worst, how bad did you get? And do you remember how long it took you to get to that point? I am just wondering if you don't mind me asking? I started thinking tonight about how much worse this could get, and where things are headed. I thought that it might get easier, but I think that in all reality it is getting worse.

Mandy

August 15, 2006
9:09 am
Avatar
ScaredinMichigan
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 5
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thumkin...Are you around???

August 15, 2006
10:40 am
Avatar
thumkin
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Sorry I dont have a computer at home. When you ask the worst I got that is where our stories differ. I blamed my husband as much as myself because I had spent so many years doing what he wanted whether it was what I wanted or not. I think that is where our marraige ended even though we didnt get divorce for another three years. I never got completely over the feelings that it was as much his fault as it was mine and I hated the both of us. I dont hate anymore, but there is still the sadness there and I am still a little overprotective of the baby who is five now. I dont remember exactly how long it all lasted the deep depression, but I did get medicine to help lift the depression and after that went away things started to resemble normal a little better. I sort of found a way for my other girls to be more involved with the baby so that they were not so left out. And I tried doing things with them while the baby slept(albeit she was right there with us just asleep) With time as the depression lifted I was able to be more normal and the obsessiveness faded away. It was never an overnight thing though it just slowly happened day by day. Just so you know though even today there is still something different as far as the baby is concerned. My girls all know that I love them all. But they spoil her as bad as I do and I think its because they picked up from the beginning the way I felt. The older ones dont seem to be jealous of her though so I know they know that I love them all more than anything else in the world. I think it also helped that their ages are all spread out.

I hope this makes sense to you. I hope today is a little better too.

August 15, 2006
11:56 am
Avatar
ScaredinMichigan
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 5
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thumkin-

Did you ever get to a point of being suicidal? That is my biggest fear? I have struggled with those feelings for a long time, and that scares me a lot. I have not felt that way for a little while now. I was told back in December that I suffer from post traumatic stress disorder due to my childhood, and things have always been a little tough for me, but I do worry about this pushing me right over the edge.

Scared

August 15, 2006
12:06 pm
Avatar
thumkin
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I did not ever get suicidal. I sometimes just wanted to go to sleep and not have to worry about waking up but not really suicidal. I was too worried about what would happen to my baby and my girls if I was not there to take care of them. Even though I was so focussed on the baby they were all like my driving force. I knew no one would love them and take as good care of them as I would, not even thier dads. I did not have to deal with ptsd though. Are you seeing a doctor currently?

August 15, 2006
10:11 pm
Avatar
ScaredinMichigan
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 5
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Only my OB. I am screwed up though. I was screwed up before this, I just think that this was adding to the problem. Hopefully I will figure out a way to get beyond this. I am so confused and scared. We will see. Thank you for taking the time to talk to me. It is nice to know that I am not the only one that has felt like this after having my tubes tied. Everyone told me that it would me no big deal. And for being no big deal, it has devastated me.

Scared

August 16, 2006
12:54 am
Avatar
Randomwomen2
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 9
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thank you for this thread sweetheart. After my babys born I am going to have my tubes tied and because of this thread I am better able to prepare myself for what it might do to me emotionaly. I have already worried about it and you mentioned everything that I have felt. I know that its something that I want to do though. My body cant handle any more babys

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
38
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111165
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38716
Posts: 714574
Newest Members:
anissafield, Aemorph, CaitlynForlong, AndrinNetzer, MaarcusPedersen, MarcusPedersen
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information