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January 24, 2005
1:23 pm
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ineedtoloveme
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I have two other post on this board:
Help me please and Sex addiction

I am in the process of digesting some devastating news-My mate told me he is a sex addict-and to please stick with him through therapy-I am angry and hurt to make a rational decision. But- I do KNOW I am tired of being lied to. I feel even with my mate "coming clean" he is still lying! This is what he told me in a nutshell (no pun intended) He says he had a lot of one night stands from 1995 until 2000- but - he hsa been "clean" since 2000. He says he has only "masturbated" since 2000.But- before than had at lots of one night stands.He claims he was able to stop the one night stands WITHOUT therapy(his first sex addict meeting is tonight)

I have but one question-Please just give a honest opinion-
What are the chances of him telling the truth about being able to stop the cheating-just like that- Also, before he met me he cheated on all his girlfriends and wife.

January 24, 2005
1:25 pm
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ineedtoloveme
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Please excuse my grammar and spelling.
I can hardly see the keyboard.

January 24, 2005
1:27 pm
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sc13
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In my opinion, I know a lot of the things my boyfriend told me in the past were lies. His life was full of lies. If he continues to lie, I will have to suck it up somehow and leave. But if he gets the help he needs and does the work to begin recovery, then the lies in the past won't matter. Honestly, my thought on your man is, if he has come to you and confessed this thing which has probably been making him ashamed and causing pain, that is a big first step to take. Maybe he is lying, but he does want help and wants to stop. It is up to you to decide what to do from here.

Just my opinion. Hang in there!!!

January 24, 2005
1:28 pm
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CAMER
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i just saw a movie on the Lifetime network, about a sex addict...and he did recover on the show. The show stated that he must go to "meetings" and stay away from anything that may
be sexual, such as strip joints, hookers, one nite stands, porno stuff, and give all of himself to therapy and not be "teased" by the outside stuff. I think if he truely works his program he can do it...as long as HE is willing to do this, and admit there is a problem and work on that problem.

January 24, 2005
1:33 pm
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jastypes
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I'm so sorry you're going through this. I have a dear friend whose husband is a recovering sex addict. He is in counseling. She requires him to take a lie detector test once a month with regard to his problem, and to make sure he is being honest with her. When I first heard that, it seemed so severe, but I give her a lot of credit for making him do that in order to keep her own peace of mind. I supposed it's not unlike making a recovering addict have random drug testing.

I believe people can change. I believe God changes people. But I don't think it hurts to make those people accountable.

jill

January 24, 2005
1:34 pm
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Anonymous
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Camer- I watched the SAME movie. How ironic.

January 24, 2005
2:01 pm
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CAMER
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aces, yes the movie was great...i think it was called "Sex, lies and Obsession".......and he too had to go thru the lie detector testing every 3 months with his wife. Good movie though!!

January 24, 2005
2:05 pm
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ILSILS
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hi i need,
something in your name really strikes me, you said that you need to love you, and you notice this. so let me ask you what have you done today to love yourself?
about this man, id say its not weather he is lying any more or not. he has allwaysed lied and for now i would leave it at that,
dont trust what he may do or what he sais he is going to do, like dr.phil sais is the best prediction of furture behavior is past behavior,
now im not saying he is beyond change, i just wouldnt hold my breath,
and when he does change it will be a pleasant supprise, instead of expecting it and it not happening and being a let down, im sure you have had enough of those huh?

January 24, 2005
2:26 pm
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ineedtoloveme
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Thank you so much!

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