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Please tell me about forgiveness
December 20, 2005
6:53 pm
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FindingSelf
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I choose to forgive my ex and love her unconditionally. This helps me even though it's hard sometimes. There are days when I feel hurt or depressed by the current situation I find myself in, but as long as I can will myself to feel that unconditional love for her I know I will not be hurt by her again. I know because no matter what she does or tries to do to me, it will roll off my back. I love her without question. I will always for the rest of my life have a place in my heart for her that is hers and hers alone. Nobody can ever take the times we had together away, and nobody can change the past. I miss her not because of what we had, but because of what we will not get to have because of her decision.

Does all of this mean I would get back together if she decided to come back to me? No, but I would consider it because I feel like this whole experience has allowed me to grow as a person, and that there's a genuine possibility that things could be different from my end. I would need to consider her emotional state, and prevent myself from getting used, and falling back into old, unhealthy habits that were ultimately the demise of the relationship.

Forgiveness is a decision, that's never ultimate. It takes effort and will to feel good about something bad that has happened. I could easily hate her, and wish her all the harm in the world but that will never make me feel better and will cause me to end my life as an embittered and lonly person!

December 20, 2005
11:29 pm
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cherise
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i wish i could have learned to forgive my man before i lost him.

i couldn't forgive him so i split up with him and kicked him out.

now that he's gone, i would do anything to have him back.

December 27, 2005
10:26 pm
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Guide
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Dear Cherise,

I see that you MISS him very much!!!

You have to forgive yourself. Forgiveness is not something that we give to others it is something we give to ourselves. You got to accept certain truths of life.

Life is unpredictable, its a mystry. Everything happens for a reason. Everyone does mistakes. It is OK to be upset when things go wrong and it is OK to say SORRY (without ego)

No one is perfect, including you and me. We all learn only from our mistakes.

Love him unconditionally. Every person has many good qualities. List all his good. Tell your mind that he is a wonderful person. Appreciate him for who he is. Accept him for who he is.

Think POSITIVE....about him...about everything....I am sure what ever happened taught you many lessons.....You CHANGE first and on time he is going to change....Your LOVE will melt his heart....

Your LOVE will bring him back to you.
Send him a loving email.......

love always,
Guide

December 29, 2005
10:33 am
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Dafney
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Hi Cherise & Guide,

Cherise I undersatnd your pain! The words of encouragement Guide gave u are sooo TRUE. I even took that advice she gave u for myself. I'm going through the same situation now with my son's father who I've been with since I was 13 years old. He's done a lot to me and I can't seem to find it my heart to forgive him its almost like if I'm holding a grudge aganist him for what he's done. But regardless of all that I still love him and want to be with him but I can't seem to let go of the past and I find it hard to forgive him. Now I messed up and want him to forgive me and he doesn't know how he can so now we're both pretty much on the same vote. How can someone let go of the past without bringing it up all the time? Or throughing it in their face? Why is it hard to find it in your heart to forgive the one you love so deeply for the pain they caused u? And is there any chance if u do will the relationship stiil work out? Can some one please help me out with finding it in my heart to forgive????

Dafney

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