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PLEASE RESPOND
September 26, 2000
3:50 pm
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lr
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Im 17 going on 18,and im pregnant with my boyfriend of almost 2 years.ifeel so sad and helpless.my family is not fond of him at all.i know its my fault.i made him look like a bad guy.he used to be soo sweet before,like in the start of the relationship.
but i dont know what happened.he started calling me names telling me some really mean things.i cry a lot. any little thing he says to me,i go wailing about. he says he cant trust me and that i dont make him feel secure enough.i am being a hypocrite because
i have also started calling him names. he says i dont love him because i walk away when we are arguing,that im walking from him and the problem.i do walk away,but because i get so frustrated,im afraid of what i will do or say.he started calling me a b****,and
thinks he has the right to call me names because of the way im acting,or making him feel.i swear,before,i would not say things to my ex boyfriends,that i do say to him. one time,he called me a fat b**** because i didnt want to stay at his house and continue arguing.i left,he came after me,and i still tried to walk away.then he called me tha fat b thing,and i cried and left.i was walking towards the bus stop,on an empty street. he caught up to me.i was filled with so much anger,i threw my stuff on the floor,and pushed him afew times,yelling who the hell does he think he is to talk to me the way he does and things like that. he just held me down,and wouldnt let me go.we got over that. but since then,hes gotten aggresive with me. i called him a b**** once cuz i was trying to walk away,and he was holding my wrists, so
he punched my temple. he said he doesnt regret it,because i pushed him.i feel responsible for that because i feel like i pushed him.i think we both need to change the
way we are,but i dont know how.i also feel bad because i promised not to walk away from him,but i still do,and he holds that against me.he is in cali and i got sent to tx cuz of our probs.my mom wants to keep me away from him,but i want to work things out,and he wants to come get me when i turn 18,on oct.16. i feel awful cuz whenever we fought,i would blab it to my sis or my mom.
now my parents called his fam and him, to say
what a lowlife he is,and not to talk to me the way he does.even now,we still fight.now
hes mad at me cuz i got my fam into our business.i really didnt mean for things to turn out like this.and we still fight almost everytime we talk on the phone.i feel desperate,and lost.please give me some advice.sorry this letter is so long. thank u
for taking the time to read this.

September 26, 2000
6:27 pm
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Molly
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Go home and listen to your parents, I might suggest talking to a counselor,this guy is bad news, and it will get worse, any man who hits a woman, far less the mother of his child, is scum, and problems for you. You might want to take legal action to help you with any custody issues that might come up in the future.I might consider putting the baby up for adoption, or terminate if it is within your belief system, this is a bad situation. Reclaim a life after you decide what to do with the baby, and go back to school.

September 26, 2000
6:45 pm
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single mom again
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I know how you feel. I have two children with a guy like that. He always made me fill like I was in the wrong. About telling your family, TELL EVERYONE YOU KNOW. Your family is always there in the end. I wish I had told more to more people. It helps me not to be with him when everyone does not like him. I need his child support money but if there was another way I would not put his name on the birth Cert. because that gives him as much rights to the child as you. If he is mean to you, he may be to others. Life will get better.

September 26, 2000
9:35 pm
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spurzee21
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I think that if you BOTH don't be careful, the baby's gonna end up being the one hurt because if he hits you like that, something may happen to the baby. You're right, you BOTH need to change, but it's not your fault. A relationship is based on 2 people. So with that said, yeah, it may be your fault sometimes, but not all the time, it's also partially his fault. You need to quit blaming yourself & lighten up on yourself a bit. I think you both need to go to counseling, TOGETHER. For your sake, his sake, your relationship, and for the child that you're bringing into this world.

~Hillary!~

September 27, 2000
9:16 pm
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lr
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thank you for responding.i do want to go back to live with my mom,but she doesnt want me there.she just wants me away from my b/f.i made the decision to keep the baby.i do not believe in abortion,and couldnt go through adoption.i think my b/f and i should go to counseling.ill see what happens,and keep faith in God,and make the best of things.thank you again.

September 27, 2000
11:33 pm
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Brenda
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Dear ONE

Listen to me very carefully, i too had my first child at a young age, 20, not as young as you but young nevertheless, we are very close now and I love him so much as he does i.
Unfortunately he witnessed abuse against me when he was a small child and when he started on my son I left. We were stalked for years and harassed and threatened by this guy who i thought i "loved"
You dont know what love is just yet, you come from a pretty much loveless home i bet ( your mom doesnt want you ) and it makes you want to cling to this guy cause its all the love you have. You dont have love for yourself. You are not to blame, you are still a child and this emptiness and need for love at whatever price will be with you for a long time until you get therapy and the support from true caring and kind people
I pray that this comes to you and your child.
You are a strong girl for not aborting your child, and YOU are the best mother to that baby.
Do the best thing for your child and stay away from your drug of choice ( him ) for now, it is seriously endangering yoru health and the wellbeing of your child.
Please take time and realise you are being physically and emotionally and mentally abused by this guy who says he loves you and your baby but doesnt, he doesnt love himself.
He is putting you down and blaming you so he can feel more like a man, he is filled with rage and pain and you are his punching bags..you and the babe.
Please start off being the best mother you can be and seek serious help for you both asap. Forget your mother, this is where you learned to be shit on, go to an agency for unwed moms ( beware of thos e posing to help only to have you give up your child, hang on to that baby )
or better yet, get to a shelter for abused women and get support and counseling. Let me know how it goes.
Please hear me.
God be with you both. Love and light.

September 28, 2000
10:39 am
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manna
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Ir let me start by saying you are both too young to handle this situation of such great responsibility.Your boyfriend is as lost as you are and violence seems to be the only way he can handle this feeling of being trapped.You on the other hand seem to handling it better.Hang on to your decision of keeping the baby and come to terms with it.Once you are ok with it then your boyfriend will work it out too.You have to go it alone right now as no support seems to be forthcoming from your family.Find a help group and rely on their support to get you through this pregnancy and till your boyfrend feels ready to assume responsibility.Blaming each other and fighting is a sign of insecurity in your relationship and the more you both fight the more the feeling escalates.Take time off to think and I'm sure things will work out.Look at it this way at least you boyfriend has not walked away.He probably cares but right now he feels trapped.Take care and try to work things out.

September 29, 2000
12:54 pm
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Brenda
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