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Please please be awake someone
April 7, 2009
1:03 am
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Randomwomen2
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September 29, 2010
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Ok I feel like Im sinking again and I dont know why. I hate feeling this way

April 7, 2009
2:14 am
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chelonia mydas
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September 24, 2010
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Hi Random, are you still there?

April 7, 2009
2:23 am
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chelonia mydas
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September 24, 2010
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Hi Sweetie,

I hope you are feeling better now. I'm falling asleep at teh computer, so am headed to bed soon.

Sending you support and comforting thoughts to help you have a tolerable, no if I'm sending wishes your way I'll make sure to send only the best, make that a pleasant and peaceful night tonight. You are worth the best of everything. You are one amazing, resilient, caring, nurturing, intelligent, lady who consistently does her best in all that you do.

April 7, 2009
10:44 am
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Randomwomen2
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Ty sweetheart. Unfortunatly I did not have a good night I had some pretty bad nightmares my husband even had to wake me. I dont remember what they were about but maybe thats for the best.

April 7, 2009
12:33 pm
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Randomwomen2
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I just hope I can get out of this soon.

April 8, 2009
1:42 am
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Randomwomen2
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I am hoping that I have a good night tonight my sleep has been awful the past few nights. I hate when Im scared to go to sleep

April 8, 2009
11:01 am
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Terriberry
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September 27, 2010
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Hi RW,

How are you this morning ?

April 8, 2009
11:34 am
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Randomwomen2
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Not well I had bad dreams along with my husband havin the light on in our bedroom so he can read. I dont sleep well with the light on and it was on from about 4:30 until sometime after 5:30am. I had to have another stupid flashback yesterday. One of my neighbors decided that they were going to smoke swisher sweets. Which is fine I guess except for that is something that gives me a really hard time. I know the smell anywhere and it just really causes me problems. I do see my friend kari later im hoping that it will do me some good especially if I can tell her that I havent been well (but it is so hard to do that)

April 8, 2009
4:30 pm
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needtoheal
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September 24, 2010
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((((( randomwomen)))) ... So sorry that you have been having a difficult time right now.. I know and understand what triggers feel like.. although I have never had the experience of cutting. For me, it is that Post-Traumatic Stress that gets to me sometimes.. a flashback, a smell, or a sensation...

Whenever I have to push the doors open, like the entrance door to my now former job, pushing the door reminded me of when I had to push open the heavy wooden doors when I was assaulted in college. That feeling will always be with me... Although I do not have a cutting urge, it does send me in a spin sometimes mentally.. So what I do, is just visualize something in my head --- my children's faces, a place that I find peaceful, anything that gives me that peaceful feeling. Ironically, after the death of my dear friend at work -- the triggers were most difficult for me to deal with... However, what helped me was thinking of the log that we often sat at the park at lunchtime and talked.. How peaceful that place at the park became for me..

When I find myself overwhelmed, I go there.. now alone.. and still feel that same peace. I leave there calm and more focused.....

I am so proud of you that you are aware of your urge to cut.. Reaching out to others like here is a great choice. Using your hands to type is helpful in giving yourself something to do especially during those difficult times of having a cutting urge.

Just know that along with others here, I care about you... You are a wonderful person.. a great mother, wife, and a great friend of mine.

Although I am not often here at this site, I always have you in my thoughts...and I will continue to have you in my prayers as well.

Many hugs of comfort (((( random)))

Love,
NEED

April 9, 2009
10:48 am
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Randomwomen2
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Thank you sweetheart. I dont have much time to type this morning I have a telephone confrence with my oldest sons teacher. we are trying to get his vision checked and its a lot of work to do that for some reason. Anyway I will talk more later.

April 10, 2009
11:56 am
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Randomwomen2
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September 29, 2010
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WOw I am really really stressed today. Last night my husband noticed a lump on my 2 yearold isaiah's side. It looks like a hernia. It doesnt hurt him but its still very worrisome. As soon as I come up with the 50 bucks for him to be seen im going to take him to the urgent care office. So it looks like I will be taking him next saturday cause we will have money then. IT doesnt seem to hurt him at all. I really do hope that they will just bill me for the surgery instead of making me pay up front cause we dont have insurance. Therefore can not afford the surgery. I am very thankful it doesnt seem to bother him at all. We only saw it because he had been crying cause he didnt want to go to bed. I did some research and some hernias can pop out when children exert themselves or get upset then go back in when they have calmed down. I also found out that hernia surgery is the most common surgery among children. So Its not my fault that this happened. My poor guy though.

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