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PLEASE HELP. Sexually Explicit!!
June 11, 2007
11:56 pm
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Anonymous
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NL, keeping you and yours in my thoughts!

June 12, 2007
1:13 am
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northernlights
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Thanks you siniho. I actually talked with the Police Department today and they have decided to take us to a child advocacy center here. They will help to discern what has happened and help take some of this decision making off of our hands. An official report has been filed with CPS and the PD. I was trying to not do this. I don't know why...just didn't want something like that to follow my daughter around. I do feel that they are here to help her though and I am thankful that I don't have the entire burden on my shoulders anymore. I am nervous and scared for my daughter but i believe this is the right way to go. You all are amazing here and I appreciate you so much. God Bless you all and whatever you are going for a pray that you can heal and prosper.

June 12, 2007
1:23 am
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fantas
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Northernlights...that's a relief that you now have backup. I admire your courage and resilience. In a strange way, reading through your process and how you are doing everything is also healing for me as well. So I thank you. Keep posting and keep your strength up.

June 12, 2007
1:28 am
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northernlights
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thanks Fantas-you have been especially helpful to me. It is strange, the different emotions we go through when something like this happens. I don't feel so strong, but I must be. I really feel angry right now. Whether or not my MIL had anything to do with this, they have been so selfish and self absorbed throgh this whole thing. My MIL and I were so close, more like a mother and daughter or best friends. Maybe that is the problem, it's just not natural, LOL.

I also meant to say in the last sentence of the previous post that whatever you are all going through, I pray that you heal and prosper. I better start proof reading.

June 12, 2007
10:33 pm
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Anonymous
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Keeping a prayer for you, too, NL!!! tks

June 13, 2007
12:25 am
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fantas
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(((Northernlights))) thank you and right back at you...Keep us posted

June 13, 2007
11:15 pm
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Anonymous
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(((NORTHERNLIGHTS)))

June 14, 2007
12:33 am
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northernlights
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Hi all- thanks for the support. I'm a little nervous..our appt. is tomorrow at 1pm at the Child Advocacy Center. Any ideas what to tell my 3 year about where we are going? She communicates well and is pretty smart...she'll want to know what we are doing??? Also, any tips for this Sunday (father's day) My MIL is really pressuring us to come over. I am not ready. (this of course is all under the assumption she has not harmed my daughter) I feel so much anger and hurt towards my MIL, FIL, SIL, and BIL, that I just can't imagine putting myself through a day with them. I meant it is hardly party time. None of us have hardly spoken in two weeks, and we haven't seen eachother at all. Doesn't it seem silly to force this when feelings are so fresh and the situation is so volatile? any opinions are greatly appreciated.

June 14, 2007
2:17 am
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fantas
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Hi Northernlights...I am sure tomorrow everything will go well. Perhaps you can tell her that these people who you are going to see, talk to young, smart children like her inorder to make sure that they are safe from some bad people. You can add that they may ask her questions just to make sure that she knows how to stay safe as well, so it's important that she answers questions as honest as she can. The more she feels like she is helping herself and others stay safe the less intimidating it will be and perhaps

June 14, 2007
2:21 am
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fantas
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Hi Northernlights...I am sure tomorrow everything will go well. Perhaps you can tell her that these people who you are going to see, talk to young, smart children like her inorder to make sure that they are safe from some bad people. You can add that they may ask her questions just to make sure that she knows how to stay safe as well, so it's important that she answers questions as honest as she can. The more she feels like she is helping herself and others stay safe the less intimidating it will be. As for your Inlaws, that's a tough one. How does your husband feel about going over there for father's day? I wouldn't go and I wouldn't let my daughter go until everything is cleared. Maybe your visit to the child advocacy might shed some light on it. Should you decide to go, I think it would be nice to try and address the awkwardness before hand...Your husband should be taking the lead on this... This is such a tough spot you are all in. Hang in there...

June 14, 2007
2:45 am
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fantas
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ooops, Sorry

June 14, 2007
3:21 am
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northernlights
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My husband is very understanding of my feelings. If I don't feel comfortable going, then he would support that. He doesn't feel great about it, but at least it's his own parents. I feel physically ill at the thought of seeing them. I don't want to make things worse though. I think we'll have to take this one day at a time...we'll get through tomorrow and go from their I guess.

June 14, 2007
8:24 pm
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fantas
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Northernlights, How did your meeting go? Was your daughter okay?

June 14, 2007
9:02 pm
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thewall
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Good job NL. IM so glad you are going through the proper channels to get help and report this. Your 3 yr old will be fine. Just tell her you are going to talk to a nice lady and she will ask questions and you will need to tell the truth.

keep us posted

June 14, 2007
9:18 pm
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Anonymous
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(((NL)))

You are getting good advice here. Keep posting. I hope everything went alright today. Careful you don´t get physically sick over this. Though that could be a good excuse not to go to MIL. I have a feeling your needs to know there are bad people out there and she can help other little chilren by talking to the right people (that mom and dad tell her to). Keeping you and yours in my prayers.

June 14, 2007
10:42 pm
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gracenotes
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northernlights,

I think tomorrow will turn out just fine. I would just be casual about your trip to the Child Advocacy Center. She is going to talk with someone nice, and will probably play some games too. I'm sure the center will be very child friendly.

I would honor your feelings about Father's Day. With all that is going on, does not feel right that MIL is pushing your family to visit. I agree, its too raw for socializing now. Maybe you, your husband, and daughter can just go somewhere fun on Sunday, something like a theme park or a picnic in an outdoors place? Somewhere to have some fun and do something different.

June 14, 2007
11:35 pm
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northernlights
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HI everyone. Thanks for all the posts. Things went well today. Everyone at the center was great. It was very non-threatening for all of us. We discovered some things we did not know. It is the belief of the detectives and the therapists that my daughter was "abused" by another little girl. My MIL was mentioned probably to due to close relationship she has w/ my daughter. My daughter was very forth-coming with the therapist which surprised everyone b/c of her only being three. It is not uncommon for a child of three to confuse a few different stories and blend them in to one. Due to the age of this other child-this case will not go further and it is up to me to keep her safe. As far as the family... the detectives gave us some great advice for dealing with it and we were also given options for counseling. I think in time we will all heal and I thank God (and all of you for pushing me 🙂 ) that we got to the bottom of it. It opened my eyes that even though my MIL did not do this, her relationship with my daughter was not appropriate and now I have the tools and the confidence to force a change.

June 15, 2007
12:04 am
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readyforachange
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((((northernlights)))) blessings to you! I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Take care of yourself.

June 15, 2007
12:32 am
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fantas
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Northernlights....I am so happy for you and your daughter. You are so strong and courageous and on behalf of those of us who were abused and noone stood up for us, I thank you so much for believing and standing up for your daughter. Should she ever remember this, she will also remember how you fought for her. The in-laws problem will boil over soon too. I am sending lots of positive thoughts...Take a few days to clelebrate with your daughter and husband, this is a victory...

June 15, 2007
8:46 am
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risingfromtheashes
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I wonder - will you still have doubts and be hypervigilant around your MIL?

Of course, I was not present for the whole center interview, so I am not fully aware of all the details...but from what you have said, my gut reaction would be that MIL is still suspect.

Did the information given help you get back your trust for MIL? Or do you think there will be some lingering issues?

I hope that everyone, including MIL, can get past this and understand how it happened and that you were just doing your job as a mother.

Bravo for you for being brave and seeing this thru for your daughter...for not sweeping it under the rug....for giving your daughter a voice.

June 15, 2007
10:57 am
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gracenotes
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northernlights,

So glad to hear things went well!!! And, of course, it could very likely be from another little girl.

And, the information about MIL's relationship with your child being inapprorpriate will open the door to effect some lasting change.

June 15, 2007
11:04 am
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thewall
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NL

Be proud of yourself for handling this appropriately. Good job

June 15, 2007
11:22 am
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atalose
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I am glad to see you followed it through and are feeling a sigh of relief.

I am curious as to what they mean by your MIL's relationship with your daughter is inappropriate.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

June 16, 2007
12:56 am
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northernlights
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Hi atalose...they did not say that the relationship was inappropriate. I have thought that is was for a long time. I have evn talked with my mom about it. My MIL would like to have my daughter at her house 24/7. When she is around my daughter, even when I am there, she acts like her mom. She does things that moms do. It's not like I am an absentee parent either. She is very posessive of her and simply acts as if they are mother and daughter.

June 16, 2007
12:42 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Northernlights:

I am truly glad you have your answers. What a relief, and yes, what a blessing that this also opened the door for change w/ your MIL. Be very proud of yourself for stepping forward; so many do not.

I wish you and your family the best. It's nice to know good moms are still around.

🙂

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