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Playing The Victim
April 22, 2004
3:58 pm
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guyman
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September 30, 2010
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I am currentley reading a book on codependency and there is a chapter which talks about how we as codependents always end up playing the victim. We always feel victimized at the end. The reason is because we are "rescuers" and when are attempt to rescue goes unappreciated and un awcknowledged we get angry,which leads us to believe we are victims. I feel like this now from my relationship that just ended and I wonder why..she didn't flat out dump me.She had problems and so did I and we decided it was time to end it. So why do I feel like I am the victim?? It is because I tried to rescue and care take. And my attempt failed. Therefore as a codependent I automatically feel as though I am the victim.

April 22, 2004
4:27 pm
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Worried_Dad
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Look, helping people is what normal, healthy, decent people do.

Convincing people that they need rescuing is what many abusers do.

You might actually be a victim.

April 22, 2004
4:30 pm
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artist 2
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Good question. And I have to ask myself why I felt that way in my previous relationship. I think I was a victim of myself - because of not taking responsibility for my life and getting out when things weren't good for me any more. Victim because of my own fear of being alone - again not taking resposibility for myself. I mean think about it: taking responsility for me in that situation meant ending the relationship when I knew, and we both knew, that it was not a good match.

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