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Plastic surgery
October 10, 2005
3:34 am
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I am 38 and due to the stress of the past few years (and cumulative stress throughout my whole life), I feel as though I look older.

I was looking at photographs from two years ago, when I was with the ex, and I look like a different person.

Months of anxiety and crying have taken their toll.

I guess I was wondering if anyone has any thoughts on how to regain lost looks either through diet and exercises or through minor surgical procedures (I'm not that far gone, yet)

I understand about beauty coming from within, but I need to help it along by not feeling so down when I pass a mirror...

I would apppreciate any opinions, or if anyone who has experienced this would like to share, I would be grateful..

Thanks

~c~

October 10, 2005
3:56 am
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Neshema
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Charlie-

It crossed my mind recently. I always had great looks and was really upset when I saw some pics a few weeks ago. I though what more can be taken from me. I was going to ask my dr. I aged so much in the past year...just wanted some very minor stuff. Then, I thought, maybe I willl try to get some rest first, and work out and cut back on stuff, and get some professional pics and my hair recolored first. maybe it was the lighting. After that, I will talk to my dr. I always had brains and looks. They have minor stuff they can do now to enhance ur appearance. If it really bothers u, go for a consultation. Oh, I also need to see a dietician. I am toooooooo skinny. I think diet doesnt help. So I think I wil first try all kinds of stuff to start taking care of myself. If that doesnt work, I will get professional pics taken. If those look bad, I will consult with the cosmetic derm doc. Many of my friends have done it. I won't feel bad about my apearance if there is a minor thing that can be done. It is so not worth it.

October 10, 2005
4:06 am
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Lass
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I am growing older, at 45, and it does make me kind of uncomfortable... but I am also more attractive and likeable, open, fun, and loving than ever before.

Someone said I looked tired the other day. I do get tired. I have advanced fibromyalgia.

But I would not ever consider cosmetic anything at this point. I think that what a hairdresser can do is about as far as I care to go! That, and I love creative clothes....

I still enjoy the sun, and exercise, and eating well, having friends in recovery, and find all these bring me happiness and fitness.

Love, Lass

October 10, 2005
6:17 am
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JB2
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I saw on Dr Phil a while ago that stats show cosmetic surgey can cure as much depression as a psychiatrist can.
I had a radical abdominoplasty and liposuction in July. It was way more painful than I thought it would be cost $10,000 but I had a pot belly that wasn't in proportion to the rest of me and I really got sick of looking at it. It was on my mind way too much.

Took six weeks to recover, looked worse before it got better but now I'm glad did it. Don't think I'll get anything else done.

October 10, 2005
9:08 am
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Neshema Lass and JB2

Thanks for your input, and your personal viewpoints on this subject.

I am also too thin, I need to gain about a stone in weight, so maybe then my face will fill out a bit. I find when I am anxious that I just lose my appetite completely, and I have had days where I will just drink tea (my comfort drink).

Also I drank quite heavily last year to block the painful issues. And we all know how that destroys looks, so I am now stopping drinking altogther. I used to smoke, but I gave up when I had my children, so I know I can do the same with alcohol, because my fears about how damaging it is to my overall health and appearance, greatly outweigh the need or desire to drink. It has lost it's appeal, and I don't want to lose mine!!!

Also I am having my hair cut and coloured tomorrow, and this morning I bought some cool clothes and a new bag.

I am hugely aware how shallow this may sound, and I am worldly wise and realise that globally this is just nuts, but somewhere along the line, I picked up signals that it is just not acceptable to grow old.

I feel as though I look tired and unhealthy, and have to make an effort to smile. Alot of the depression I have suffered has cause this, and I want to improve on that first, but I also think I would benefit from a few changes, mostly facial ones - lower face-lift and collagen injections. Has anyone had these procedures done?

Thanks again you guys for your posts, I was interested to read them!

Have happy days!!

~love charlie~XXX

October 10, 2005
9:26 am
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Regret
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Charlie,

I don't know if you would want to consider some "simple" procedure before you get on to the major ones. This is my take.

1. Drink lots of water. Cut back on tea and caffeine. If you can ensure that you drink 2 litres a day, it would be great. Water does wonders to teh skin.

2. Eye lifts: Spend some time before you hit the sack putting on cucumber slices as well as cool tea bags. After the tea bags are used, allow them to cool and then place them under your eyes. Cut the cucumber contour shape and place under your eyes. It does well for tired and sunken eyes.

3. Get facial scrubs. It brings a shine to your face. I would recommend one of Boots'(UK) since it has a lot of natural extracts but if you cannot find that, any one that has a lot of natural extracts would be good. Wash it off with something with shea butter, honey or milk. This helps restore the natural shine.

4. A systemic sleep pattern. Ensure you are in bed at a certain time whether you are sleepy or not. This puts back the rhythm needed for the body and in turn "winds" the body clock which helps put the body on balance (this takes off the tired looking bit)

5. At this point, a lot of make-up could help. I don't know your colour but would recommend dark (earth) colours around your eyes. They fill the face up.

6. Excercises: I think someone already mentioned that. Since you mentioned you are slim, I suggest something that is not very rigorous. And then finally, your diet- a lot of greens, fibres etc helps.

7. An add on is a smile. It doesn't matter if you have to make an effort. It will soon become part of you.

Good luck and hope this helps!

October 10, 2005
9:57 am
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Hi Charlie,

I'm going to post before I go back and read all of the responses.

I am 42 and I think I look pretty young for my age group. I work very hard at taking caring of myself. It is not difficult, it just requires a bit of discipline. I know, I hate that word!

My first rule is good old fashioned beauty sleep. I try to get 8 hours everynight. I sleep on my back because sleeping on your side wrinkles your face.

Second rule is water, water, water. Drink til you float. I drink a glass before I go to sleep and as soon as I get up-and all throughout the day.

Walking. Take a walk everyday. Outside if you can. The fresh air will do wonders for your lungs and state of mind. Try to go for a minimum of 15 minutes.

Salt is my nemesis. It makes me puffy and bloated. So does beer. I drink wine usually because it has antioxodants, and I love my "nip".

I do treat my facial skin very well with good products and moisturizers and exfoliants. The drugstores have a great selection. Just be sure you know your skin type so that you get the right products for you.

Hope this helps Charlie. It's never too late to look good and feel good!

2b

October 10, 2005
11:06 am
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Neshema
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Charlie-

It is a personal decision. I know plenty of people who have had minor procedures who have been quite happy. I have not had the nerve to do it. I think if I am basically satisfied with my appearance and healthy, i won't go. If it gets to the point where I am that dissatified, I was trying to tell you I would consider it. I guess it depends on where you live and what the culture is. Like I said, I have had many of friends who have had minor procedures...having a radical thing done is another issue. If you are basically healthy and happy, try the home remedies first, as suggested. Nesh

October 10, 2005
12:00 pm
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gingerleigh
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Mary Kay cosmetics! I am not a girlie girl by any means, and all the pink girl power stuff is enough to turn my stomach sometimes, but the skin care products are truly fantastic. Plus you get to work with a consultant who makes sure you've got the right products for your skin type. The prices are generally a little less than department store prices, and shipping is free.

Also drinking lots of water is good for the body. As for the gaining weight part, well, I can't speak to that since I've always tended towards being fluffier rather than bonier, but I think so long as you treat your body well and give it the nourishment that it craves most, you'll even out at a healthy weight.

Smoking and drinking can wreak havoc. I quit smoking, but indulge every now and then, but usually feel gross afterwards so I try not to smoke more than once or twice a year. I drink too much, and I know that when I quit drinking for a day or two, or just have one glass of wine with dinner, my eyes look brighter and my skin is less puffy than if I've had three or four drinks the night before.

October 10, 2005
12:00 pm
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JB2
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Its such a big and personal decision. If you are medically underweight you really should try to resolve that first. That would help Im sure.
I dont know how hard that would be for you to do though.

October 10, 2005
12:07 pm
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sdesigns
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Hi Charlie: Last January I had a brow lift and my upper and lower eyelids done. I love it and would consider doing even more- maybe a mini face lift. I enjoyed the whole process, wasn't as bad as I had thought. The surgeon was having a special right after the holidays so I just went for it. He is someone who has been presenting seminars for years and I had gone to several always thnking I would do it "sometime". It was important for me to trust him. I also had 2 laser peeels done this spring.

After I had this done, it was amazing how many people told me they also had had work done. Its more common than you think. I even went to one clients home for a meeting when I still had stitches after she told me she had the same work done, and was going to do more.

Its a personal decision, I think its worth it, and the results aren't so dramatic that people will know you had surgery done. They will just say you look rested, etc.

I still go occasionally for facials and microdermabrasion. They make me feel good and I feel like I am pampering myself.

My advice- don't be afraid if thats what you want to do. SD

October 10, 2005
12:15 pm
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If i havent watched sooo many of those shows on the science channel and discovery channel where they show all the actual surgery s oyou see what they actually do to you, Id probably still want an eye lift, a tummy tuck ,and lipo. But even the other night, I was thinking back to a friend of mine who went through lipo and She was in agony for moths . withthe bruising, the tight itchy spandex thing she had to wear to keep all the stiches and stuff meshed together. she was sooo uncomfortable.
But then again, she is a recovering Bulimic and the surgery aided in that a lot. She still looks awesome, but I dont know how her head is. The last time i saw her she still seemed ot be insecure. ((Tugging at her shirt, feeling her tummy as she was talking, and holding it in after touching it...etc. Perhaps I was reading too much into it.
There are also other cases where people arent ready ot dea lwith the "New and improved "selves adn all the attention that comes with it.
And one "regular" At the coffee shop i worked at got herself a butt lift, and she never felt better.
So It really depends opn the person.

I always get mistaken for being a lot younger than I am, but in the past few months, going on a year, I can see the differences in my face and ocerall demeanor taking a toll.
IU am going to try and do some ealking and definatly have been drinking more water and replaced coffee and diet coke with green tea.
Also making myself dress beter everyday helps my overall attitude about myself and is noticable in the way I carry myself etc.
Try t operhaps pick a "thing" to do for you, that makes you fee lgood and get in a new "Healthy routine."and dont over do or allow yourself ot deprive yourself of well needed rest.((Easier said than done sometimes, I know))

My eyes havent bee nthe same since I had surgery for Diabetic Retinopathy. and It really upsets me. But I have to remind myself that I CAN SEE!!!!!!
And even though Im not comfortable withthe bags there now, I CAN SEE them, and everything else. They make this kind of elastic band thing that goes somewhere behind each ear and is siad to have the effects of a face lift, with no surgery.

With my luck, the thing would Pop off as I was speaking in public and my face would fall and not go back!!

October 10, 2005
3:14 pm
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2B, Regret, gingerleigh, sdesigns, addicts wife, Nesh and JB2....

Good bedtime reading there!!!! LOL

Just off for an early night!!! I will lie on my back, and remove all traces of make-up before I go to sleep!!!!

I REALLY enjoyed reading all of your posts, and I am inspired to try all of your suggestions first. I have a glass of iced water with a twist of lIME by my side (not too close to the keyboard though!!).

And I am going to a new excercise class tomorrow -called body balance.

I think I will smile more,(even when I don't feel like I can) as Regret mentioned - maybe it will catch on!!!!
: )

As for the image of elastic bands going "Ping!" that put a hiuge smile on my face for starters.

You guys are terrifc. Thanks!!

~love and hugs, charlie~XXXX

October 10, 2005
3:42 pm
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Hey Charlie ~

What a good thread you have going here. We talk so much on this site about the mental and emotional side of everything that I think sometimes we overlook the pysical when asking for help.

I am 38 also (go figure, another similar trait we have). I am usually told I look around 26. So, am I doing something right - I suppose - but I can look back at me a few years ago and look years and years older than I do now (because of the stress back then)

I agree with everyone here that rest and water are the key ingredients. Also, lots of moisterizer. It sounds crazy but I'll use pure virgin olive oil on my face at bedtime when it needs extra moisterizing. I wake up with baby soft skin.

Alcohol is a big no no in regards to skin. I don't drink much during the week but I do on weekends and by Monday morning you can see it in my face, dark circles, pasty skin...Yikes - why I drink I'll never know.

Exercise is a big one too. It gets the circulation going in your entire body which helps the complexsion.

There is a book called the Perrecone (sp) Perscription which discribes the right anti aging diet. It's chok full of foods that are good for your skin.

I exfoliate my face at least 3 times a week and use an at home micro-derm abbrasion 1 time a week. When I can afford it, I go for the spa micro-derm and my skin looks amazing.

I am also too thin so my face looks hollowed out at times, especially if I'm dehydrated. I think exercising helps with this in that I look more toned and healthy instead of frail and weak and I just drink and drink and drink water.

All in all though Charlie - it does come down to also a mental issue. When you feel good, you look good. Getting old sucks (IMO) but we have to make the best of it. I remember when I didn't have to try too hard, when my eyelids weren't falling down and I didn't have crows feet and dark circles under my eyes. To a point I enjoy it but damn if my boyfriend isn't 6 years younger than me and looks every bit of it!!!!!!!!

t

October 10, 2005
4:28 pm
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(((((Hi Honey/Charlie)))))

I'v just found your post and went right to some of my books to look for answers ad here is what I found and summed from one of my spiritual books:

1- You sould have Regular Checkups with your doctor to make sure you are in good health. Since you're very skinny, Charlie, I would try to find out the underlying root for your very thin body/weight.

2- STRESS: Big enemy for our beauty and health. Once you identify stress, you can do 1 of 2 things: do something to change the situation, or learn to live with it, while fortifying yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually to survive.

3- Watch your Daily Food: Try as much as possible to avoid food that is impure, processed, or depleted. Try to stay away from all junk - sugar, white flour, soft drinks made with chemicals, fried fast foods, highly processed foods with preservatives and chemicals. Make an effort to replace the junk foods by foods that are close to their natural state as possible. Fresh fruits, vegetables, whole grains, nuts, and seeds contain the perfect balance of vitamins, minerals, and digestive enzymes. Correct eating must become a way of life and not a last resort in the face of sickness or excess weight.

4- Ensure that you take some Exercise Daily: the main purpose of exercise is to keep the body healthy by enabling it to do 4 extremely important things: eliminate poisons, increase circulation, strengthen muscles, and eliminate stress.

Just remember, honey, that you don't have to pay so much money to buy machines or enrol in health club. It could be daily brisk walk even if to the grocery store or do msome indoor workout. I play calanetics indoors. Nowadays, there is Pilates that is very fasionable among Hollywood stars.

5- Water: Water is involved in every single process in our bodies, including digestion, circulation, absorption and elimination. We should make sure that we take 6-8 glasses of water daily (I only drink 5-6 LOL).

6- Fasting & Prayer: Even secular researchers have found that prayers fasting and faith play great role in our emotional as well as physical health. Fasting has natural self-healing and cleansing process. During fast, the energy used to digest, assimilate, and metabolize is spent purifying the body.

7- Spend Time in Fresh Air and Sunlight if possible every day. If you live in cold climate, take advantage to go out whenever it is sunny day and go spend some time in the fresh air and sunshine. It has been proven they have healing and rejuvenating agents to every part of our body and mind, germ killing, Vitamin D, relaxation, remedy. Scientists are now discovering that light has significant effect on the immune system and the emotions. Any activity or exercise done outside increases your inhalation of fresh air, which also aids in cleansing the body of inpurities.

A very good outdoor hobby/exercise is Gardening. Getting your hands in the earth has a miraculous calming effect upon your whole being. Digging up weeds or planting flowers and vegetables is great therapy. You can also do other things such as sweep off your front step, water your lawn, rake leaves, or wash windows.

8- Getting Enough Rest: You need to be able to achieve a deep sound, completely refresing sleep naturally, without drugs at least 8 hours for an adult per night.

Do not make any life-changing decisions when you're exhausted. A good night's sleep could change your mind completely.

9- Having a PET: (My own tip, ROFL): I suffered a lot from depression and still do occasionally due to going thru my healing process. A few years ago, I found a cat astray, which I fell in love right away and adopted her. Believe me Charlie, I have never been happier. There is always smile on my face, even tho I have trials and depression in my life every now and then. She became my Best Friend!!!

Here are some food that claim to help with rejuvenation:

Sardine, tuna, fish, liver of chicken, eggs, salads, yeast, oats, juice, herb teas, dates, grapes.
( This list of food is taken from magazine)

As for skin care: I started lately using OLAY and I honestly am Amazed at this Humble Product. Before, I used to spend so much money on expensive well-known brand big names. OLAY Regenerist is one of my favorites in this product!!! Now, I Keep it Simple and it is Awesome!!!!

As for plastic surgery, I would spend some time meditating and reflecting upon this. I am sure the right answer will come to you then! Wink.

Best of blessings to you and your family, sweetie!!!

(((Hugs & Prayers)))

October 11, 2005
9:36 am
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CAMER
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if i had the money for plastic surgery, i myself would probably get a tummy tuck......but all and all, your body is what God has given you.

I think no matter how much surgery you do have, you will look better after the surgery, but what happens when you get to be 60 years old and the surgery no longer helps keep your youthful look....i think, alot has to do with your own self esteem and well being, be happy in your body, do the right things for your body, love yourself and that will all show on your outer body.

In time, pl. surgery is a temporary fix for something that can come from
within.

(((camer)))

October 11, 2005
11:37 am
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Amazed
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Workout and keep yourself busy. It's amazing what that will do. You won't have time to look in the mirror and judge yourself by that. The sad part is that so many people here and in the world are so worried about looks vs. what is within.

I'll take a life with someone who has something to offer from within long before I need something from someone who looks 10 years younger than they are. Those people have the wrong focus for me.

Sounds like you might question your inner self too. Maybe start there before you spend a whole lot of money on surgery. In the end, whether your some hot little body or some one who's overweight - in the end we all get old and gray with our boobs sagging and it doesn't matter anyway - but even with all that you can still love yourself and life with a good attitude. And with that comes loads of others who are just as strong.

I was watching a show the other day - one of those reality shows. Where they show girls that live in the playboy mansion. Barbie Benton showed up (for those of you not old enough to remember Barbie was one of Hef's first famous playmates and bedmates - she was beautful) and they showed her asking Hef if he was going upstairs (to sleep with his new blonde bombshell) - "Of course" he replied to which Barbie became pretty deflated and said "I would too!". Hef's still bringing them in, and Barbie is out to pasture. And I actually thought she looked pretty good...for her age!!!! We all get old and age no matter what creams, treatments, that you do. It's about inner self!!!!

October 11, 2005
1:10 pm
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Hi, Girls! I am 55 and a widow. My husband took his own life two years ago, following a long illness. Needless to say, those years of suffering took an immense toll on my appearance. I looked older than 60 when he died.

Today, most men figure me for mid-40's. What did I do?

1. I lost 40 lbs. Went from a size 18/20, down to a 12.

2. I bought a new wardrobe. Bright, stylist and figure-flattering.

3. I had the spider veins on my legs and the backs of my hands "done." I also had the brown "age" (or sun) spots on the backs of my hands removed.

4. I consulted several plastic surgeons and selected the one I felt most comfortable with. Then, I had Thermage (which is the non-surgical facelift which gives you new collagen under your skin, via laser treatment), Restalyne to fill in the deep lines from my nose to my mouth, and Botox under/around my eyes to minimize the wrinkles.

5. I had LASIK surgery. No more glasses.

6. I grew out my hair (it had been short) and began using a professional salon for my blonde color work, rather than doing it at home by myself. (My own "home" coloring was always brassy looking.)

7. I experimented with new, flattering make-up treatments and began maintaining an attractive manicure/pedicure at all times.

8. I baby my feet, slathering them in cream and tucking them into socks to soften them up after every shower.
Now I have the soft feet of a young woman.

OK. There it is. True confessions. And it sure made me feel better about myself.

October 12, 2005
3:40 am
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CAMER , Amazed, StronginHim,

Just got time to post a thank you for your replies, before I head off to take my daughter to school.

I know you are right about inner strength. Without it we are nothing really. I think I have always known that to be true, but I suppose I feel like now I have de-stressed alot of my life, I would like to replace the visible signs of stress that linger on, with a 'happier' outer shell too.

I had my hair cut and highlighted yesterday. I do look alot better than I did last week, when the ex saw me. I feel better too.

But I know I run the risk of wanting to change one thing after the other. Finances and common good sense would prevail, but the yearning would be there.

It's hard to admit it. But I must be shallow after all. I had myself pegged for a deep thinker, but still...

StronginHim.

I am sorry for your loss.

You sound beautiful, and I am sure you are inside as well ~ I think you must have been strong and beautiful all along. I know you mentioned that your husband was ill for along time, but he had YOU to take care of him.

CAMER

I think you are absolutely right. It's a paradox though this inner outer thing!!

Amazed

It is about inner self. Maybe if I repeat that over and over it will eventually sink in.

I suppose I am worried because if most men prefer younger and hotter, does that mean I will end up alone. A hag?

I don't want that to happen. So, I would do anything for that. I sound like the Wicked Queen (witch!) in Snow White, but I just can't accept this.

Not sure what I will do. I will start with working out and a healthier diet. I need to gain weight and muscle. Then I will look again in the mirror of time, and be a better judge!!

~love charlie~XX

October 12, 2005
1:19 pm
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Amazed
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Charlie,

If the men you are looking for are looking for younger hotter women then move on - they aren't worth the time anyway. There are plenty of men out there who don't have to be swayed by the look!! Sure men, actually all of us, want to feel good about ourselves and things like hair cuts, etc. can help with that BUT I'd be willing to bet you'll find a long loving relationship more for your abilitiy to love and care for someone vs. being a peice of A**!!! Again to me those that try to be that are covering up for what they lack inside. I'll take the inside anyday.

I'd be willing to bet you can list quite a few things that you bring to life everyday - you are not an old hag unless you let yourself feel that way!!!

October 12, 2005
2:47 pm
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Charlie,

I am 55 years old and consider 38 to be very young. It seems to me the first thing you need to do is eat and gain some weight to be at a noraml weight. See what you look like then.

I look in the mirror at myself and give myself a smile. I think I look beautiful. Most people are shocked when they hear my age. I am not worrying about my looks changing with age. I eat a very healthy diet and exercise everyday. Keeping my body in good shape is my priority. I feel that I will always look beautiful because that's how I felt about my mother no matter how old she was she was beautiful to me. As long as I feel beautiful I will be beautiful.

October 12, 2005
3:02 pm
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tracylyn
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Kathy........

That was so endearing and just made me think of my mom. You are so right, when I look in the mirror now I start to see her and she has always, always been beautiful.

Thanks for putting that perspective on it.

t

October 14, 2005
3:28 am
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kathygy

Yes, you have defined the word beautiful with real grace.

On a personal note, I have gained four pounds, and already feel 'fuller'!! I am doing Pilates today, and I had an unexpected encounter with the ex yesterday (the guy who has ignored me for eighteen months) - he came over and said "Hi".

It may seem ludicrous, but THAT was my closure.

Kathygy I have a feeling you are a very beautiful woman indeed. I aspire to your depth and pragmatism.

~with love, charlie~XX

October 14, 2005
6:13 am
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i hadn't smoked for years and i've been smoking like a chimney for the last month because of this stupid breakup i'm having such a hard time with.it's like the only thing that calms me down. i keep telling myself i'll stop soon enough and it's probably not going to harm my looks that much...but deep down i think it probably is..

October 14, 2005
12:20 pm
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September 24, 2010
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I to feel like I see a different person when I look in the mirror..I had lipo-suction last year..which did help my body..but I still don't see the person I want to see in the mirror..I have been trying different hair styles hoping to see a change..but I see none..I think I need to start getting use to the person I see in the mirror today..and stop trying to get back something that is gone..I need to be happy with who I am today..flaws and all..I may find that I have aged gracefully...Angel1

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