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place of vulnerability
November 11, 2001
10:16 am
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artist 2
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One place I work very hard to avoid is one of vulnerability. It has cost me my insight and many chances to love. Can someone offer words to give courage to be vulnerable and be ready to accept pain?

November 11, 2001
10:26 am
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ms. T
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Artist2, I have worked very hard for years not to attach myself to any women friends. I have had a string of casual acquaintances since several broken friendships in my youth pretty much did me in. There is not anything really that I can tell you except that I understand your not wanting to feel pain; I've been there. However, the recent friendship I've become part of has had its share of good things, too, and frankly, those good things outweigh the pain I've been brought. That's why I've worked hard to hold on to it, even if we've had to change it to make it function for the time being. Don't let chances to experience those good things pass you by because you're afraid of the end. Who really knows what the future will bring? Let go of your fears and love freely. Pain is a necessary human emotion that I've decided I must feel occasionally to remind me of how human I really am and also to emphasize how wonderful happiness and contentment are. Good luck, and if you can't seem to get anywhere on your own, get a therapist!

November 11, 2001
12:53 pm
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Molly
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Feel the fear and do it any how, there is nothing to fear but fear its self. Learn to not take things personally, what ever happens, just happens, not just about you. the book the four agreements are good, regarding that take it personal stuff.
Life is a banquet and most poor fools are starving to death, Aunti Mame.

November 11, 2001
3:05 pm
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janes
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Tired peoplehave strength, courage and ...well...maybe not energy.

If you allow yourself to be open enough with others that you may also feel vulnerable ... remember it takes strength to open and honest ...

If some other person takes advantage of you because of your openess....then they lose out on keeping your friendship and/or love.

Are you hurt...possibly...but you cannot control what others are...only what you are.

if you are constantly on guard to being vulnerable then how will you know when someone cares for you for you and not for the front you show?

It's a risk. But a good one when you find the right folks for friends and lovers.

Of course....when I think about it...I don't know if I would want to hang out with people I couldn't show the real me too.

November 12, 2001
12:55 am
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damaged
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Damn this is a good topic for me. I don't think I really have ever shown the real me to anyone but my bestfriend of many years. As soon as I get to were I feel I am getting hurt I really don't act hurt I act like a bitch and act all bad ass.

I also take things way to personally. Just like when my counselor was sick. I took that personal and I know it wasn't but I still took it personal. Maybe I took it more personal because I did show up to be told I didn't have appointment. Oh well I am working on it. I am learning that I in no way want to be in a vulnerable position with my heart of course. I don't have as hard of a time with other parts of me!!!

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